Babysitter, should I allow her to bring her boyfriend?

[hellbell]

I have a potentially great babysitter, who is 19, qualified and the daughter of trusted friends. She is about to start baby sitting our dd (5 months) next Saturday. She lives with her boyfriend, whom we have never met. She has asked whether or not she can bring him to sit with her when she babysits. As we don't know him, I am not sure that I want him in our house, but on the other hand we trust her and want her to come back. (We are considering her as a nanny). What do you think? Am I over-reacting?

[mieow]

I saw the title and thought NO!!! I was a babysitter at 16 and got up to naughties while the parents were out BUT seeing that she lives with him and is 19 I would say yes.

[WideWebWitch]

Yes from me too: she's an adult, she lives with him, you know her and it might mean she won't need a cab home. Plus she'll be keener to do it again.

[fisil]

I'd say yes too. They live together, and you trust her mum/dad, who I assume is happy that they live together.

I used to take boyfriend and play mummies & daddies!

[hellbell]

Thank you everybody. You make sense. It was really not what they might get up to that was on my mind, but just the case that he is a stranger to us. Should I have my dd meet him before the night? Or should I just chill out a little bit?

[CnR]

Why not invite them over a bit earlier than you are going out. You could have a drink together and it may help put your mind at ease.

[codswallop]

I would insist he has noithing to do with the baby.

I speak form unpleasant experience

[Angeliz]

i must admit i'd be very worried about it and truthfuly i would not feel guilty about saying no.After all she is being paid to do a job and most jobs don't involve having dp with you! Sorry to disagree with everyone but i'd say no

[Moomin]

Could you ring her parents and ask them about the bf? Or would this seem a bit paranoid? It depends on your relationship with them and how honest you feel you could be. Otherwise, the suggestion about them coming over early is a good one. If she's going to potentially be your nanny you'll have lots of contact with him in the future. Also, if she's qualified, she should understand that you would want to meet him first and she'd understand the whole "vetting" business.

[tigermoth]

I agree with moomin - nothing wrong with finding out more about this boyfriend as part of the vetting process and make it very clear what (and what not) you expect them both to do in your house.

If the bf seems ok, I'd go ahead and let your babysitter bring him along. You could always come back a bit earlier than they expect or pop back an hour after you have left to get your handbag etc, just to see how things are going.

Codswallop, whatever happened to you must have been nasty. Sympathies.

[handlemecarefully]

hellbell,

I'd be like you - keen to find out more about the boyfriend. As someone else suggested - why not ring your trusted friends to get the lowdown on the bf...

[hellbell]

Hello everyrone. Well, I had a meeting with my babysitter and she totally understood about her dp not coming to our house at least for the time being. I explained our feelings and she was fine with it. On a great note, dd was a dream for her; not the usual screaming etc that she displays when MIL is about. Ho hum. I'll tell you how it goes. Much loves for your support. It is good to know that you are there for each other.