cant juggle full time work and life!! need a moan!

[Buddhamummy]

Feeling pants this evening. Went back to work when dd was 6 months, but only few hours here and there. Being a nurse means luckily flexibility of hours is great. Dh is self employed programmer works from home. We were juggling care really well, id be home at 2pm after early shift and take over. Also one day off mid week to do housey bits banking etc.... great.

but as dh not much work at moment we decided that i would go back full time. This was ok to begin with and to be honest i sort of liked the thrill of being part of work force again, BUT now its horrible! the hours have got longer so starting at 830 and getting home at nearky 5pm,(knackered).

Feel guilty that dd hasnt had any fresh air so then take her out for walk. back, tea, bed and bath which i love!! but then soooooo much to do in house, phone calls,letters, general sorting of daily stuff! having a nice bath!! ahhhhh sorry but just feel life has run away with me at mo and i cant get control! also feel bad mummy for not taking dd to any activities at moment. actually feel quite teary re reading this oh dear

[annh]

Who is looking after your dd while you are at work? Dh? If he does not have much work on, surely he should be able to take dd out sometimes during the day to the park, swimming, whatever? Or help out more with housework, paperwork? Are you able to share your concerns with him about how you feel, what you would like for dd?

[annh]

Sorry that came out like twenty questions! Just supposed to be ironing at the moment, find something to wear to board meeting at work tomorrow and think about something nutritious but fun for the ds's lunches!

[Buddhamummy]

Probably sounded like a complete moan! sorry, dh is in honestly wonderful looking after dd at home,. situation is he has got work to do on pc in day but its just not paying enough hence my extra wage...do you know annh i think im tired! I dont think ive been getting enough sleep to do a day at work. Also i am a part time perfectionist!! and do have a tendency to want to do everything really well. do you know what i mean? Have you found anything to wear yet, a board meeting sounds very glamourous! i sometimes look at the suited and booted brigade and sigh as i put on my potato sack (ahem) nurses dress!!