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Gifted and talented

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9 replies

jem2two · 11/02/2009 11:37

Hi. This is my first post,looks like a good site for advice.
My daughter is in year 3 at primary school and has always been bright when it comes to maths and english.For the last 3 years she and one other pupil has been taken out of their class twice a week to work with year 4 + pupils on more challenging maths and english. Along with the fact that she is can read from any of the years reading and pick books from home, i think she is finding peer pressure very hard to deal with.
She said to me last night that all her friends are normal and that some of her pupils call certain children nerds etc etc.
Also the whole boyfriend thing is popping up and she thinks the reason a certain boy might not like her is because she is different- these are not my words, this is what she was saying.How do/did you deal with this. Felt so sorry for her and said to not worry what others think but it did not make any difference.
Thanks jem

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GooseyLoosey · 11/02/2009 11:43

Is she suggesting that she might not want the extra tuition as it makes her stand out too much?

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Threadworm · 11/02/2009 12:01

Why does she think that she is not normal? It is pretty normal for a few children in class to be taken out for more advanced stuff.

As for the boyfriend thing, it's a shame that her peer group is talking in terms of boyfrineds/grirfriends in year 3. Perhaps it is just a craze that will die down a bit.

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cory · 11/02/2009 12:08

I was that nerd, and this was long before G&T was invented: we didn't even have different ability sets. Still pretty obvious that some children could do more than others. I am now glad that I did not pipe down and succumb to peer pressure: haven't seen those kids for 35 years, but the fact that I kept developing my talents meant that I am now in a profession where I have been able to make more congenial friends.

I think you have to gently encourage your dd to be herself anyway, even if it does get her called nerd. Keep telling her that everybody is different and that her way of being is a good way. Make sure learning is fun for her. Make it clear to her that it is the name-callers who are silly. Standing up to peer pressure is a vital life skill.
Just be on the alert for any signs of genuine, prolonged bullying which would call for intervention.

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Jux · 11/02/2009 12:21

Lots of kids in dd's year call her weird. She's not particularly upset by it, but at first she was - not too badly but enough. Luckily, dh has always revelled in being 'different' (he is a bit different, but not nearly as much as he thinks he is) so from his pov it was a good thing and dd was bolstered by that. Lots of sympathy, hugs and reassurance.

Also, point out to her that different people are good at different things; she's good at x y and z, which shows up in school a lot, but the other kids in her class will have other things they are good at but which don't necessarily show in school yet.

There was a programme on tv at around dd's most difficult time about a mum with 4 (out of 6) autistic children. Their motto was along the lines of "it's cool to be different". Watching that with it's very strong message helped her enormously.

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jem2two · 11/02/2009 13:38

She loves her extra classes,confidence is a big issue as she a quiet girl. we always tell her that all we want is for her to do her best and we are not looking at her getting everything right just for her to be happy in knowing she tried but confidence issues are still there.sad.

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jem2two · 11/02/2009 13:45

Sorry,trying to get used to this.
Thanks everyone,your all right,will reassure her and keep an eye on things.
Threadworm,your right about the boyfriend thing,its only been since this new girl started and is the COOL GIRL.Hopefully it is a craze. Thanks.jem

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CarofromWton · 11/02/2009 13:48

Sounds like my DD1 (G&T in literacy and maths) and severely lacking in self confidence. I can't criticize anything you've told your DD - you're not putting too much pressure on her. We do our best to boost DD's confidence but it's hard-going - sometimes I think it's just in their makeup.

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cory · 11/02/2009 13:51

These crazes come and go. Hopefully she will learn to ignore that kind of thing.

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jem2two · 11/02/2009 13:56

Hi carolfromwton. Cant say my dd is G&T as i have never asked but thought this would be the best section to ask.
It must have something to do with it as i would say im not confident in many situations-school being one. Hard to know how to respond as my parents did not take school seriously think i bunked off more than went.lol.
Cheers.jem