ds1 under SEN now for G and T. As it is impacting his mental health.

[Piffle]

ds1 is yr9 and very very g+t in all subjects ( bar PE lol)
has had a meltdown at school failing to motivated and he has been teased by another kid for being such a boffin- actually the term is tangoed? Face slapped. Ds1 flipped into rage was pulled off kid and calmed down and then dissolved into sobbing mess. Undermining himself. Revealing a perfection complex but he is in bits as he cannot get motivated to try harder as work not challenging enough.
I hve explained to him before that he just has to get on and do it. Not realizing that he had perfectionist complex and slowly he has been declining. Hence snapping like that. V out of character he is master of control of emotion.
school have referred him to mental health team as he is saying he is crap and a failure. No idea why as his marks are mega good. No pressure from home do long as he is happy I do not care what his marks are
am rambling here but school ( v good grammar) say they are using SEN budget and resources to assist him achieve more. This may mean moving up a year is some subjects and taking gcses early. He is already doing some in yr10.
have had good talk to him and he is feeling better.
He now feels guilty about taking SEN resources though.
Any thoughts about this as I know many seriously G+t kids do fall under SEN. But also feel that had he not shown his emotions that day... Nothing would be changing.
am bit um er about things.

This came out of blue btw I thought ds1 was happiest he'd ever been atm
that has thrown me sideways tbh

[fizzbuzz]

Why aren't they using their G and T money? That's what it's for

SEN is for students with Special Educational needs. Whilst it could be argued that G and T is an SEN situation, there should be money available for both from different budgets. That is how it is in my school and most others I know of

Not sure that taking it from SEN is the right answer tbh, What about the SEN kids? Are they getting money from the Gand T budget? I think you need to ask your ds's school why they aren't funding him from the right pot.

We have loads of GT kids in my school, and a lot on the SEN register. Budgets are completely seperate.

[fizzbuzz]

Why aren't they using their G and T money? That's what it's for

SEN is for students with Special Educational needs. Whilst it could be argued that G and T is an SEN situation, there should be money available for both from different budgets. That is how it is in my school and most others I know of

Not sure that taking it from SEN is the right answer tbh, What about the SEN kids? Are they getting money from the Gand T budget? I think you need to ask your ds's school why they aren't funding him from the right pot.

We have loads of GT kids in my school, and a lot on the SEN register. Budgets are completely seperate.

[Uriel]

Well, it can only be good that school are taking this seriously.

Can you say to ds1 that he would not be getting SEN resources unless he needed them and that it is right he is getting them.

[fizzbuzz]

Have just reread my post, and it seems a bit fierce sorry!

However I really am genuinely confused as to why they are using SEN budget to push him forward and move him up a year. This is G and T surely

[Blu]

Piffle - I am sorry your ds is so unhappy.

imo, of course the SEN budget is for children who are having difficulties because of emotional issues - and it may be that your lad would put himself under these kind of pressures even if he wasn't G&T, iysim.

I can only speak from the pov of the primary sector, but DS will spend next term supported by the SEN budget, on school action plus, to have physical assistance as a wheelchair user. I would completely support that budget being used to help young people who are emptionally vulnerable and experiencing what yur DS experiences.

This shouldn't be a row - or a source of guilt for your DS - about SEN resources, but having the right support so that you and the school together can help your DS.

[Piffle]

he is 14. There is no g+t budget. Remember the government took over NAGTY and nothing. Plus being. Grammar they do not qualify for govt funding for g+t.
they said it is under SEN as it is affecting his mental/emotional and academic self.
maybe they've merged sen and g+t? Must ask.
the resources to help him are within the school. Nothing extra needed just advanced work a year upwards.
his best friend has CP and our dd also has SN so ds1 is very mindful of social justice and equity.
will find out more next week.
wish the provision was separate but the g+t coordinator is also the SENCO and also ds1s physics teacher so all a mixed bag

[flossish]

As I understand it SEN stands for special educational needs. That is what he has. It does come under that budget then IMO.

I'm sorry he's been so upset Piffle. Ultimately hopefully this will improve his education which can only be a good thing. Just take things slowly and see how the next couple of weeks go and talk it through with him again then.

[charliecat]

doesn't SEN stand for special education need? Surely he fits the bill then?

[charliecat]

oops crossed posts

[Piffle]

He is a lovely boy. For a teenager he is just wonderful. Makes tea helps is a great big brother.

One thing hexsaid was he suffers from extreme empathy. He worries what will happen to the disruptive kids when they fail. And for teachers who are hassled by the students.
bless him

[yurt1]

IN a grammar school the SEN budget will be mainly used for this sort of situation. It's common for children with AS to receive extra help (in some cases a 1:1 LSA) at a grammar school- for their social, not academic needs.

[soapbox]

Oh Piffle - your poor DS

14 is such a difficult age and certainly for me the time when I first started to feel some pressure to perform well - up until then I think I was almost blissfully unaware of what I was doing. The pressure for me, came from me, if you like it was the time when I first discovered a strong motivation to do well - and of course it can just seem so overwhelming, that opting out and a phase of denial is a fairly understandable response.

There's probably a lot of hormones in the equation too.

Being made fun of isn't nice either - perhaps he is in that phase where wanting to be less different from others is kicking in, and can't bear that he stands out from the pack?

In any event, it sounds to me like the school are on the case and clearly have your DS's best interests at heart. On that basis, I would hover in the background, ready to dispense tissues and TLC whenever needed, but trust your DS to find the internal resources and strength to get himself through this time - with a little bit of help from school

[coppertop]

I don't think he should feel guilty about using SEN resources. From a financial POV it's better to use some now to deal with the problem than to wait until it snowballs out of control and use more resources. It also goes without saying that his mental health needs this input too.

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[flossish]

Why does there? I'm the sort who goes along with something on my mind and I will genuinely believe I am a ok and then one day it all becomes too much and I blub in unsuitable places at inconvenient times...

[snorkle]

Sorry to hear he's so unhappy piffle. I don't think it's that uncommon to behave/act differently at home though, so don't feel bad that you didn't pick up on it sooner. As people have said it's a difficult age and hopefully what the school offers him will help him through it. I understand his concerns about the funding, but I imagine there aren't all that many SEN kids with huge needs at grammar, so hopefully he can be reassured on that. From what you've said in the past I should think he could do maths GCSE early without batting an eyelid - I remember you saying he's always done very well on the maths challenges, is he on the UKMT mentoring scheme already? If not that might be something worth looking into. I guess doing a few other GCSEs early give him a bit of a challenge, if only by fitting 2 years work into one year, but I just wonder if what he really needs to stretch him is higher level work than GCSE, rather than just more of it? It will be interesting to hear what they put in place and your opinion as to whether it's a good solution.

[fizzbuzz]

...missed the last bit of the thread title.........

He should be classed as both atm, sorry he is suffering so much Humblest aplogies.

[Piffle]

thanks loads for all your lovely supportive comments and info. I need to think a bit harder about what has preceded this. He has been more affectionate for sure, but with SN dd and 14 MTV old ds2 aka the destroyer and a dp who works 2 he's away and long hours too I guess there is no time for noticing.
he is talking about things and opening up.
will look up links later no time atm feeding time at the zoo

[Piffle]

wanted to say thanks for the heads up on hoagies. Ds1 has found Haven and already has chatted to like minds and is getting some good kinship going.
SATS this week but mental health guy seeing him on Friday so will eek out more info this week.
we have sorted out his room and got him organised and this ( he said ) has helped. He still seems very fragile though