My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Gifted and talented

Please don't throw tomatoes for posting here about my toddler

45 replies

mrsgboring · 26/03/2008 21:18

DS can do all the usual tricks with letters and numbers, and has fabulous speech yada yada yada. He's 2.5 and I of course think he's wonderful and marvellous and am very excited by all the lovely things he can do, but I know that it doesn't necessarily mean he's a young genius in the making.

However, it feels like everyone else is trying to label him just that. People always praise his speech and proceed to predict his IQ and it gets excessive after a while. Maybe everyone gets this, I don't know?

I worry that if it continues, it will put too much weight of expectation on DS. And it's getting a bit frustrating for me too. Last week I met with some postnatal group friends and they were chatting about potty training. They cut me out of the conversation because they assumed DS would have done it easily ages ago (he hasn't). Once someone sharing a proud mummy moment even prefaced it with "I know this is nothing compared to DS, but..." which made me feel awful. And now I feel like I can never do my own proud mummy sharing for fear it seems like boasting.

What can I do? Do I need to do anything, or will it go away of its own accord?

OP posts:
Report
dinny · 26/03/2008 21:24

what do you mean by "all the usualy tricks"?

Report
BoysAreLikeDogs · 26/03/2008 21:26

Can you descibe his vocabulary ?

He sounds lovely

Report
BoysAreLikeDogs · 26/03/2008 21:26

describe (blame it on diet brain urgh)

Report
lucharl · 26/03/2008 21:27

don't worry, the others will catch up on the speech front etc, maybe even overtake him and then they will all start boasting about these new achievements.

parenting is ridiculously competitive at this age, can they do this, can they do that?

be the cool one who doesn't show off!

Report
berolina · 26/03/2008 21:28

I have a friend who does this about ds1. It makes me a little uncomfortable. He's certainly bright, and I would say advanced, but not excessively so, I think.

Smile sweetly and let it wash over you. It will go away - when theirs catch up or other things become important.

Report
berolina · 26/03/2008 21:29
Report
mrsgboring · 26/03/2008 21:30

Really good speech, huge vocabulary, complex grammatical structures. Can count, name colours, recite nursery rhymes and knows all his letters, starting to do some blending.

But I didn't want this to be a "my toddler is so amazing" thread. He may be; his father is amazingly clever, I'm not so dumb myself so it wouldn't be the hugest surprise, but it's probably too early to tell and even if it isn't it's too early to matter. But people want to treat him like he's out of the ordinary and I just don't want that for him at this age or ever.

OP posts:
Report
cory · 26/03/2008 21:31

It will go away. We had two babies in our baby and toddler group who were very early at meeting milestones. Now they are at Junior School, both still bright, but not ultra-bright. But the good news is they are now known and appreciated for who they are, not for what they can do. It's 'my friend Jack', rather than 'Jack who knows all the words to Rule Britannia' or 'Jack who walked at 9 months'.

It's toddler groups that go on and on about milestones and little geniuses- frankly, because the mums often don't have that much in common. As children grow up, they find their own friends, and the mums get a bit more time for other interests than staring obsessively at each other's offspring. I have to say, it's a relief.

Report
dinny · 26/03/2008 21:31

pmsl, Mrsboring, that is NOT "all the usual tricks" age 2.5

Report
Cammelia · 26/03/2008 21:32

Don't want to rain on your parade but this all sounds normal to me for 2.5

Report
PaulaYatesBiggestFan · 26/03/2008 21:33
Report
dinny · 26/03/2008 21:34

why do you mind? you obviously do a lot with him. just smile sweetly

Report
dinny · 26/03/2008 21:35

really, Cammelia? not mine when they were 2.5, they just were into bikes, playing and bedtime stories.

Report
dinny · 26/03/2008 21:36

I get the feeling Mrsboring was waiting to list his accomplishments

Report
GooseyLoosey · 26/03/2008 21:36

Do understand how you feel. Ds was a little like this - he could explain gravity at 2.5 (honest). He is approaching 5 now and whilst he is undeniably bright, he is in no way a genius. However, I have never felt able to tell people about his achievements as everyone has always thought he was clever and have undervalued some of his sister's achievements as a result. Hope this doesn't spoil your enjoyment of hiim in any way.

Report
Troutpout · 26/03/2008 21:37

Will what go away?
He is who he is.. none of that other stuff matters...just enjoy him

Report
PaulaYatesBiggestFan · 26/03/2008 21:39

we have a mum in our group lists her 2 year olds acheivements

we larf





dp thinks tripp trapp

Report
mrsgboring · 26/03/2008 21:54

Nope, am a real person. Have posted a few times on MN before.

Of course it's nice to list a child's achievements, as I spend all day with him and love him and am proud of him. But I did it because a couple of people asked me to, and I really shouldn't have fallen into that trap.

OP posts:
Report
mrsgboring · 26/03/2008 22:01

Trout, by "go away" I meant either others catch up or people find other things to be interested in. Or just in some other way that this ceases to be an issue. It sounds like it's most people's experience that it does.

It's only that it didn't really go away for me growing up and I don't want that for my DS. Goosey, do you mean that your DD's achievements got overlooked by others because they were still genius spotting your DS? Or that you got so used to downplaying DS's achievements that you did it with DD too?

OP posts:
Report
Troutpout · 26/03/2008 22:14

Oh yes it will go away then
Other things will become more important.People are milestone mad (particularly with pfbs) untill about 3 i think and then it eases off.
Also..the children even out generally. Children have different spurts at different times.

Report
Piffle · 26/03/2008 22:15

you can never second guess what the future hold for precocious bright or even genius toddlers. All you can do is nurture and encourage, support and love this smart little fellow as he grows up.
fwiw my genius spotted toddler is now a hulking 14 yr old. And still at the top of the heap;) while the gap has closed undeniably ( he is at good grammar school) he still excels.
As for what his future holds? Still could not guess. Hope for success and happiness but being clever is no guarantee

Report
BoysAreLikeDogs · 26/03/2008 22:17

I didn't set a trap, MrsB

[hurt]

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

PaulaYatesBiggestFan · 26/03/2008 22:17

my slow slow slow pfb who did nothing early is top of the academic heap at 15

Report
Blueblob · 26/03/2008 22:45

My eldest son had very good speech, letters etc etc etc and as a toddler I got many nice remarks. Plus a few slightly worried ones from other parents at toddler groups. In situations with other parents I tended to say something nice about the other children. Joining in on conversation topics where my child was average or slower. As TroutPout said people are milestone mad during the first few years.

Report
mrsgboring · 27/03/2008 07:29

Thank you all. BoysAreLikeDogs, I didn't mean you had set a trap, but I knew how this thread could turn if I wasn't careful.

And FWIW, I do hate the label PFB, as DS isn't, he's a PSB, my PPFB was stillborn. Which just makes me all the more sensitive. So, sorry.

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.