Does anyone have one gifted child and one below average child?

(17 Posts)
StuntNun Tue 11-Mar-14 22:59:11

I had parent-teacher meetings at school today and DS1 (year 6) is doing exceptionally well academically, clearly very intelligent whereas DS2 (year 2) is struggling, scoring poorly on age-standardised tests, in the remedial reading group and generally falling behind the rest of his class. I was wondering how common it is for siblings to be so different in academic ability.

Sophiathesnowfairy Wed 12-Mar-14 07:35:41

stunt big hug and a coffee I hope that your night was ok. I would be EXTREMEMLY WORRIED if a school were not dealing with one of my childrens potential dyslexia beacuse they had labeled them below average Intellegence. Academic achievement is not always necessarily the route to success and it seems to me a very dated attitude to write someone off because the are not leaning that way. Learning to deal with ones dyslexia allows a body to strive forward and have a career whether it be something more practical or not. Tbh, and you know I am definitely not a raver or an irate customer, I would be looking for a school that would deal with the dyslexia and help your gorgeous DS2s creativity blossom.

Sophiathesnowfairy Wed 12-Mar-14 07:36:33

Sorry that was me at to go In the other place. You know where I am at. Xx

natellie1970 Wed 12-Mar-14 11:15:36

My yr7 DD is highly intelligent and on the gifted register for maths and science while my yr8 DS is barely average at everything except PE. Partly I think cos he can't be bothered (follows me sadly!!). It can get awkward when she can do his homework easily and he's struggling. Do your DC get on? If they do maybe your oldest could gently help the youngest without it being too obvious. Could give them both a boost. Best of luck.

Impatientismymiddlename Wed 12-Mar-14 11:17:12

I have one child who is very gifted in most academic subjects, particularly mathematics and one child who has a severe learning disability.

Neverland2013 Wed 12-Mar-14 11:23:26

I may be completely naive but I would argue that a child shouldn't be labelled as less academic in Y2. It may be that he/she learns differently but I do believe that it is too early to jump to conclusions.

nonicknameseemsavailable Wed 12-Mar-14 11:43:13

Y2 is an age where problems often show up, Sophiathesnowfairy has mentioned potential dyslexia so I am not sure if I have missed another post but I would be wanting to know by halfway through year 2 if they have looked to see if there is a learning problem of some sort that could be preventing your younger child from demonstrating their full ability. Parents evenings are very short and really only give a tiny snapshot of the situation so I would ask if you can have a longer meeting with the class teacher to discuss the problems in more detail and find out what they are doing to help and what help you might be able to give at home. do ask about possible learning difficulties like dyslexia because they should be considering it by this stage in Yr2 IMO. Also that not all skills and talents are immediately obvious in academic situations at this age. Art, drama, music, sport and so on are rarely reported on at parents evenings and perhaps he just happens to have his skills in those areas.

StuntNun Wed 12-Mar-14 11:53:17

DS2's teacher has mentioned the possibility of dyslexia (Sophia knows me IRL) and I am in the process of arranging for an educational psychologist to assess him for learning difficulties. My take is that DS2 is smart but not as obviously brilliant as DS1. But the school regard DS2 as average. So really I was just wondering whether it was common to have such a wide difference between brothers.

Pagwatch Wed 12-Mar-14 11:57:22

I have one gifted child.
One average child
And one child with severe learning difficulties.

GooseyLoosey Wed 12-Mar-14 12:02:00

Yes - ds in Yr 6 has an IQ of 150+, just won an academic scholarship to most selective school locally, good at everything.

dd in Yr 5 struggles more. Has attention problems and nothing comes easy.

Part of dd's problems are:
1. My expectations are too high because I have become used to ds. I am impatient when I should not be.
2. Her expectations are too high. She expects to be able to do what ds can and when she can't, just gives up.

To minimise this, I moved them to different schools and dd is now doing better. No one sees her as ds's less able sibling any more.

NigellasDealer Wed 12-Mar-14 12:06:20

I used to be told that one of my twins was 'gifted' while the other has spld.
now it is the latter one that is doing well while the 'gifted' one just annoys people and uses his talents to make fake bus passes etc

nonicknameseemsavailable Wed 12-Mar-14 13:42:42

thats good you are going to get him tested. we are just getting DD1 tested. school thought she was brightish. I thought she was extremely bright but had a learning problem of some sort (probably dyslexia), guess who is right? DD2 seems just as bright but without any problems so on the whole will probably end up having a much better school experience and probably get better results even though she may actually technically not be quite as bright as DD1.

I suppose they inherit different genes so it must be perfectly possible for one to be bright and one below average but I don't think you can tell for sure at this age as one might just develop earlier or later than the other or your second child could have a learning difficulty he is masking very effectively - just like DD1.

naty1 Thu 20-Mar-14 21:44:08

Are there birthdays very different ie they think summer borns will be quite behind whereas Sept born have the advantage.
Also first born have the advantage. They have had more 1-2-1 attention
Its sad as i expect my bright 21m old to get dyslexia and not be able to fulfil her potential

NK2b1f2 Thu 20-Mar-14 22:20:51

I'd be very concerned if my yr 2 dd was written off so early. She had a difficult start with severe glue ear, some residual auditory processing problems, and is late summer born. She's bright enough but still overcoming her problems, so may appear below average when in fact her progress has been astronomical.

My younger dd had none of these problems, is spring born, and on the face of it appears much smarter.

I won't label either of them and will support both in the areas they need supporting. I was a late starter myself and certainly no shining star in yr2. Still managed to get a handful of degrees and quite decent jobs.

I've also seen young children shine early and then become rather average when their peers caught up which is why I avoid labelling a child at all costs.

Au79 Tue 01-Apr-14 19:05:19

My DC who didn't shine much at school turned out to have IQ and other test scores in the "extreme" high end. No SN identified. The one who everyone knows is obviously G&T has lower scores. I think you can be TOO bright for school to recognise-it is designed for average people

tumbletumble Tue 01-Apr-14 19:22:00

Not my DC, but when I was growing up I was the bright one and my brother struggled more. He had dyslexia too so was late in learning to read. In fact I could read before he could, and I'm 18 months younger. We both ended with good degrees though.

ThreeLannistersOneTargaryen Tue 01-Apr-14 19:26:15

Two are able (top 5%).
One is exceptionally able (top 0.5%).
One had delayed development and is now average academically.

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