I have 2 sons. Eldest is maths and science bright and has aspergers, and isn't a threat as he's older and 'different' anyway.
Second son (age 8) is totally different. He is not great at maths - average plus - and has lots of good ideas for writing, but tends to need to prune it down a bit. However he is fantastic artist and a very funny kid, got great natural timing.
Third son (5, year 1) is very clever indeed. He is in the top 0.5% (I do IQ tests and have to try out new ones on my kids sometimes) and good at everything, but especially maths.
Trouble is, third son is kind of better than second son at lots of things. He is better at computer games. He is better at maths. he is also too young to see how painful it is for DS2 when DS3 is doing stuff better and quicker than he can. DS2 is exceptionally sensitive and I see him closing down. For example there are certain computer games he just won't play now as DS3 has gone way past where he had got to and he couldn't cope with the humiliation of not being able to be as good as his little brother. DS3, for example, invariably comes first in every race on Mariokart Wii and is better than my husband at it. When I asked DS2 if he was worried that his brother was better than him and if that was why he wouldn't play that game any more, he cried and cried. He cried when his brother answered a maths question at the table before he could (I was asking DS2 a times table question. DS3 hasn't even been taught them, but he worked out what 9x8 was faster than his brother).
How has anyone else handled this? I have pointed out that DS2 is by far the best at drawing. I have forbidden DS3 from playing one particular computer game that DS2 found and started playing; I have told him that game is just for DS2.
Should I have a little word with DS3? I don't want him to feel like he can't stretch himself for fear of upsetting DS2 - he definitely isn't deliberately trying to upset him, he just loves learning and I don't want to crush that in him. What has anyone else done?
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5 replies
ilikemysleep · 03/02/2013 21:48
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