How can i get dd to listen?

(12 Posts)
flussymummy Mon 15-Oct-12 00:27:01

We had a similar situation with our DD, who's 4. It was glue ear. Helped greatly by touching her on the arm and making sure that she is looking at us before talking to her.
Also, I wonder if having to block out background noise at school to concentrate might make her ignore you unintentionally?
I hope you get to the bottom of it!

mrsshears Sat 13-Oct-12 21:09:28

Thanks reallytired thats really helpful.

r3dh3d School have said dd is needing instructions repeated several times,when dd was 3 she had a schedule of growing skills assessment in which she had to follow several instructions e.g "take this book upstairs,swap it for another one then take that book downstairs and put it in the kitchen" she did it without a second thought, there is no way she could do this now so something has changed.I think it could well be a combination of not listening and not hearing, dh often says its because she has too much going on in her head but im not sure i buy that.

YouOldSlag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:56:09

non stop talking is very typical of 6 yos. My DS and all his friends do this and drives me and the other Mums mad. But it's normal!

r3dh3d Sat 13-Oct-12 20:54:55

Are school reporting the not-listening, or is it just you?

I'm assuming the gifted-comment is you trying to rule out a learning difficulty. Doesn't follow, I'm afraid. DD2 is pretty whizzo (top of her year for maths at the same age at a horribly selective school) and I'm fairly convinced she has ADHD*. You can be bright as a button and have an LD, I'm afraid. It just means it takes longer to get diagnosed.

I think the first (practical) thing is to slow her down and check comprehension. Give her an instruction, and then say "what did I just say?" Try it again with a longer list of instructions and see how far you get. You may be surprised. It may turn out that she is hearing, and she is listening, she just isn't acting on it. Or she hears, but then forgets or gets side-tracked. Different problem to not listening and you need to work out which problem you have in order to tackle it.

* I only say this because I have ADHD and I see all the signs in DD2. ALL of them. And then some more signs after that.

ReallyTired Sat 13-Oct-12 20:47:54

It sounds like your dd has glue ear. If you need to have a conversation with her it helps to pick a room with lots of furnishings. (Ie. carpeted floor, curtains ie. avoid a room with a hard floor or the bathroom) If your dd is having hearing problems then lots of soft furnishings will avoid any echo.

Its also helpful to think about lighting. If your face is in shadow then your dd will not be able to lip read. Make sure you are facing the light source (ie window) so that any shadow is behind you.

It helps to be speak clearly but don't shout. Its much harder to lip read when someone is shouting.

Children with glue ear often have no idea how loud their voice is. It is not unusual for children with deafness to shout.

I suspect that the non stop talking is nothing to do with glue ear though. Maybe lack of communication is making her frustrated. Get her to repeat back what you have said to her to ensure that she has got the message. Sometimes writing stuff down helps.

I hope this helps.

YouOldSlag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:40:34

My 6 yo doesn't listen either but he is very well behaved at school. He saves his tantrums/strops/not listening for us at home. Whenever I mention it to my friends they all say the same about their kids too. Don't worry, they are still learning conversational and social skills and aren't up to adult levels yet!

mrsshears Sat 13-Oct-12 20:37:23

I have posted here and in primary.
It has got a lot worse recently,probably in the last couple of months.
Dd has suffer from ear infections in the past so i will certainly get her checked by the gp, the talking has also got worse though could that be down to the same thing?

herb me and dh had a bet to see how long it would take to get a sarky comment and i won thanks to your post.

numbum Sat 13-Oct-12 20:36:22

I didn't realise there was a centile for being gifted, they missed that out of my dc's red book grin

Not sure why her 'giftedness' is relevant TBH. Have you taken her to the GP to have her ears checked? Is she not listening or not hearing IYKWIM? If she's just choosing not to listen to you then I'd be tempted to give her a taste of her own medicine when she's constantly talking to you.

ReallyTired Sat 13-Oct-12 20:12:51

Has your DD had a cold recently? Do you think its possible that your daughter has glue ear.

Has your dd's listen ablity got worse recently. If so then I suggest you ask your GP for a hearing test.

Not listening is a common problem in children whether they are gifted or not.

Herbsmum Sat 13-Oct-12 20:09:03

I didn't realise there was a centile for being gifted, they missed that out of my dc's red book. Where can I get one?
The not listening is normal to be honest.

mrsshears Sat 13-Oct-12 20:03:23

I should add Dd is highly gifted on the 99.9th percentile.

mrsshears Sat 13-Oct-12 20:01:28

Dd2 is 6 and in y2 recently her listening skills have become virtually non existent, this includes all aspects of listening such as to instructions and when in conversation.
Dd also talks non stop which is a big factor, i'm getting very concerned about the not listening especially as it is going to have an effect on her schoolwork.
Any advice or tips greatfully received.

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