As a teacher I have seen how hard life is for gifted children and how they often struggle to fit in. Having done research into asd and ADHD I came across a definition of a gifted child and it is like they were describing my dd. Even down to the love of physically demanding sports such as rock climbing!
I knew she was 'bright' but I guess she is a bit more! Struggling really as I can't talk about it really as if you mention your child is gifted people think you are arrogant and superior. It is a special need like any other but you don't get the support from others you would if you told them your child had ADHD.
She is just 5 and in reception.
Any advice? Do I get a formal diagnosis? She has the compulsive movement thing I have seen described as common of gifted children. Will she need help with this?
I would love to hear other people's stories and the pitfalls to avoid.
I really really don't want to push her. She will learn in her own time when she is ready.
Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.
Gifted and talented
I always said I didn't want a gifted child!
mnistooaddictive · 15/03/2012 12:22
Ds1 has a working dx of ADHD alongside his gifted label. 
I'm not entirely convinced, but the medication trial is making him more compliant in school (focus wise - he doesn't have behaviour issues) so they are v keen.
He also has some asd traits, anxieties and phobias. And rock climbs. And gave up dance because a nasty bunch of 7yo girls bullied him for a year saying he shouldn't be in a girl's activity.
What have dd's school said about her academics? Tbh, not much gifted identification is possible in yr 1/ r because the curriculum doesn't allow teachers to test beyond the expected levels, so unless you push it, they are hardly ever likely to even know what a child's capabilities are.
That said, at 5 it doesn't matter a jot. If dd is happy and enjoying school, it's all good. Plenty of time to slowly consider whether her problems with sitting still are a result of immaturity, ADHD, or as an over excitability codependent on giftedness.
Don't start seeing problems where there aren't any btw. I find it really sad that at 5 you have already decided that she is going to get in trouble later because she won't be able to sit still. She has a lot of growing and developing to do, and it's also perfectly normal for gifted kids to be able to sit still. 
Is she happy and fidgety? If so, at 5, all good.
right, but those comments are pretty typical for kids at the top of the class tbh. . it's hard to know where on the scale they are when they are so little. few schools will test at that age unless there is an underlying problem like adhd or asd (so you might be able to swing some testing if you focus on the issues that could be sn in a more traditional context, like the hyperactivity. tbh if it isn't a problem for the other students then they are unlikely to refer for testing at this point though.)
you could fork out for some testing. we paid £650 with dd2 but thst was ages ago, and have just forked out quite a bit more for ds1 so that he didn't have to sit and wait for the school's ep waiting list. school did dd1's eventually. if you are going to do that at 5 though, you need to have a reason for it other than interest, imho. so looking to move schools, or looking to offocially test for and either rule out or diagnose adhd., as well as getting a definitive on where she sits with the wechsler etc. 5 is a bit tricksy, as the test you need officially doesn't start until 6 - the younger tests won't be hard enough, probably. our psych was fine and just didn't bother with the younger test battery, but it's worth checking what they will use.
we can't afford private school, so all of mine are in state. it's fine. i would put them in private if i had the cash, but i don't, so it's a null point. ds1 is the tricky one,because of the adhd issues. the girls are actually both 'more' gifted than he is on paper, but are absolutely fine in state school. he's a square peg in a round hole. it isn't the 'gifted' stuff that's an issue - that is easily enough solved, but it's the focus and zoning out. we might home ed ds. we might not. he's working on some stuff with a psych at the mo and we'll probably think about it again at easter.
car journeys are way easier if they have an ipod touch. trust me. there are some ace things about hyperfocus. 
kal, dd2 is sen and gifted (she has cp). in theory, so is ds1, with the adhd. i've only got one nt gifted kid. all sen means in this context is they require differentiation of the curriculum. it's just semantics. it's a pita keeping track of different ieps at opposite ends of the spectrum for the same kid, though...
oh lor. someone recommended that to me ages ago, and i completely forgot.
thanks. 
Since reading this thread - I have looked into (in a superficial internet way) Dabrowski's theories of Overexcitabilities & Positive Disintegration. It's amazing - so many of the behaviours are my DS to a tee. In fairness, in terms of "gifted" he would not be in any way be like some of the kids that are so-called profoundly gifted - but he is definitely, at 6, way ahead of most of his peers in many ways. Luckily, he is doing well at school - whilst he has "ants in his pants" at home when getting het up about one of his many passions (and shrieking like a banshee at the label in his collar etc) - he is able to control that at school and has a very high level of concentration. So his over-excitabilities , like his "giftedness" (hate that word...) would I would guess be at the lower end of the scale.
OP - I think reading a lot of the literature might help you support your DD and look out for problems - esp given your educational background you would be better placed than most of us. There is a tendency in this country to think that "gifted" children don't need any extra support unless there is a problem and until they are older. I think as well people will always think you are boasting etc - and clearly people do feel proud of their DC - and just because someone will always know someone "smarter" than your DC doesn't mean that they aren't gifted.
I like the fact that in the book the OP linked to gifted kids are described as "intellectual gold" - what a positive way to look at it. After all - if we nurture these children it may be that the next Steve Jobs (ok - not a great example of a "happy" gifted person) or Bill Gates might be building multi-billion pound industries in this country.
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