I have been out with my friends last night for the first time in ages..I had a spritzer at the beginning of the evening then I have switched to water..not perfect but not too bad either...It was bizarre to see my friends getting slowly tipsy and me not me. A small victory.

Good news, except I think you may have misunderstood 3. It doesn't mean, stop drinking as in lay off for a couple of weeks. It means, start a proper session, get going properly and then, say, a few hours (or days ...) in, when the party's just getting going and everyone around you is on it, say, "no, that's enough," and mean it. Put the drink down and switch to lemonade. Do THAT a few times and see how it goes.

Still - my partner and I nearly didn't get together because I was a non-drinker and she described herself as a "heavy drinker." When we did meet and I saw what she classed as a heavy drinker, it became clear there was no obstacle at all. I've spilt more than that. For her, it really was " a "once I have a couple of glasses of wine it seems like a good idea to have another one" syndrome." For me, it was much larger quantities, on amuch more regular basis, and regardless of what the next day held.

My brakes are pretty dodgy. They are much better than they were. I think it's so much easier to stop drinking when you have more things to do or the next day to think about, or at least some sort of future. I find that by getting drunk, my world stops there, and the future is gone. I have found that if I remember that I am not ready for oblivion yet, it is quite easy to stop drinking!

hmm - that's helpful. 1, 5 and 6 are definitely no. On 2, my drinking pattern is distinctly related to what I'm doing in the rest of my life (home alone and not much to do = open wine, busy doing other things = don't think about drinking particularly). 3 I have done successfully several times when worried about it. 4 is my concern area, it's a "once I have a couple of glasses of wine it seems like a good idea to have another one" syndrome. I do think it's habit in my case, but am going to keep a careful eye on myself.

Legal (and anyone else interested)

There are several simple tests you can conduct to see whether you have a drink problem or just drink too much for your own good - the only problem is dealing with the answers ...

1) Does your drinking cost you more than money?

2) A heavy drinker (a student, for example) often drinks a lot because he or she can and has no reason not to. When that reason arrives, he or she cuts down or stops. As a student, my drinking was similar to that of many of my friends. Then we all went to work. They drank less; I drank more.

3) The "Big Book" of AA recommends that, if you doubt your status as a problem drinker, you try drinking and then stopping suddenly and that you try this a few times

4) When you start drinking, can you stop of your own free will or is it other things (lack of money, closing time, crying children, passing out) that stop you? Do you instinctively feel that you have an "off" switch?

5) Does your drinking have a negative effect on those around you, either financially, physically, mentally or emotionally?

6) Do you get drunk when you don't mean to get drunk or have said you won't?

And so on.

No one of these "tests" is failsafe - but, taken together, you should get a fair idea - even if you don't like it and don't want to admit it - of whether you are or you aren't.

You know, Kitty, your previous post was a real inspiration as you were in a similar position that I was 1 week ago and it really gave me hope ! I'm trying to use all the possible ressources in order to beat it, I have also completely changed my routine and it worked so far. What I do is planning, planning so I'm never bored and it worked so far. Tonight I'm going out with my friends and its going to be the real test. I told them I was detoxing for xmas ! Wish me luck !

Just wanted to say well done for making these really positive steps. When you're in the midst of alcohol it is so hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but not being dependent on alcohol does make you stronger, and life seems easier when you're not planning your next drink.

I know where you're coming from worrying about going out over Xmas - the thing is I bet your friends won't really notice if you have a drink in your hand or not. I find mine aren't bothered at all. And nights out are better when you're not drunk (never thought I'd say that!).

I often think - how many times in the 'old days' had I woken up and regretted how much I'd drank the night before? HUNDREDS! These days, how often have I wished that I'd drank the night before? NEVER! It's a huge relief.

However you achieve this (AA, counselling, on your own) view it as a really positive thing for you and your family. You'll never regret giving up booze.

I feel silly ! Legal - I have found a website, you may found interesting, I have been on it all day www.Brighteye.co.uk.

I have been on it all day, its for people who thinks they have problems with alcool at various degrees, I find it very helpful !

I thought it was a Shania Twain reference?

<hopes that in cutting down I do not become part of a miserable minority. Not my experience so far, which I think is reinforcing my view that I'm in the habitual drinker category. But am monitoring myself closely. MIFLAW, if I determine otherwise I will be looking out for a man in a suit as I'm clearly not that far from you.>

You're welcome.

If you go to the AA website there is a meeting search facility, enabling you to search by place or postcode (for example).

Yes, i am a man, but there are plenty of women in AA too!