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Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

General health

Help! Honest advice.........leave them alone or ring?

26 replies

ditherdither · 21/05/2005 21:03

My friend rang earlier today to cancel our night out - her youngest ds ( age 1) had to be admitted to hospital - on a nebuliser and oxygen, having lots of breathing difficulties.

I didn't speak to her in person, she left a message on my answerphone - poor girl sounded fraught and in bits as you would in this situation.

I rang back and left a message, said I hoped he would be ok etc.

The thing is I'm sat here so worried for her and wanting to offer support, help, find out if her ds has improved etc. But, then I'm thinking they've probably got the world and his wife calling and I will just add to the hassle.

We don't see as much of each other as we'd like, but she's a good friend and one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

I've changed my name for this, I don't know why, except I'm obsessive about my anonymity.

Shall I leave them be or ring?

OP posts:

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WideWebWitch · 21/05/2005 21:04

Ring. They don't have to answer or speak to you. Just say you're thinking of her and to let you know if there's anything you can do.

hunkermunker · 21/05/2005 21:04

Ring her.

MarsLady · 21/05/2005 21:11

Ring!

hunkermunker · 21/05/2005 21:11

Have you rung yet?

Hope her DS is OK - must've been v scary.

Mud · 21/05/2005 21:12

Ring - no question - or text

AngelCakeUmm · 21/05/2005 21:12

I would ring is well, my ds was aditted to hospital about 3 weeks ago with breathing problems and he had a very bad cough they found it was croup, he was also put on a nebuliser and given a steroid liquid medicine.

Hope your friends ds is ok, its so worrying when there young like this

KBear · 21/05/2005 21:13

definitely ring - they will unplug the phone if they don't want to speak to anyone else. She will be glad of a friend.

ditherdither · 21/05/2005 21:16

Thanks everyone.

I've rung and left a message on her mobile - she's probably at the hospital and can pick it up when she is able to.

OP posts:

MarsLady · 21/05/2005 21:17

well done!

ditherdither · 22/05/2005 21:55

I haven't heard anything.

When should I ring again? I don't want to be a pest.

I'm v worried .

OP posts:

ditherdither · 22/05/2005 22:03

anyone?

or some reassurance that I'm getting v anxious needlessly.

OP posts:

Evesmama · 22/05/2005 22:06

ring hosp..they can either tell you any news or ask your friend to come to phone if everything ok?

pupuce · 22/05/2005 22:07

Well I am of the school of thought that you have rang her once already and left a message, I'd leave it until Tuesday (she obviously has other things on her mind then to ring back just now).... but I am sure it isn't what you wanted to hear....
If what happened to your friend was serious she is probably still in hospital.
Have you friends in common ? Have they heard?

pupuce · 22/05/2005 22:10

Someone posted a similar issue a while back and everyone told her to ring, I tend to disagree with that actually.... People need space to deal with problems and if "everyone" one who cares starts to chase them up.... again I am sure I won't be popular.

Goldfish · 22/05/2005 22:10

She will have your message so she will know you have rung her and she will be grateful. She may not get back to you tonight as it is getting late.
I would leave it now until the morning and ring after 9, say in case she gets back late or something and is asleep. She knows you have rung and she knows you care. Try not worry too much as
her ds is in the best hands xxx

ditherdither · 22/05/2005 22:11

The calm sensible me says leave it until tomorrow evening.

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astonished · 22/05/2005 22:12

Agree with Pupuce. my friend lost her mum last week in a really tragic accident, she fell down the stairs, only in her fifties. Obviously my friend is distraught and i want to be as supportive as possible. When it first happened i phoned her and left a message saying she knows where i am if she needs me whatever time. It took her a couple of days to get in touch but she appreciated that i hadn't bombarded her. at times like these people are going through hard enough times without feeling obliged to keep others posted IYSWIM. I'm sure she knows you care and the best thing you can do is just be there. Hope all is well.xx

pupuce · 22/05/2005 22:13

I think your calm side is right....

ditherdither · 22/05/2005 22:13

pupuce, it is what I needed to hear - I get over anxious in these situations due to my own past experiences.

OP posts:

ditherdither · 22/05/2005 22:20

Thanks everyone

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rickman · 22/05/2005 22:27

Message withdrawn

Goldfish · 22/05/2005 22:31

Yes, thinking again, I would leave it for a while.
She will have a lot on her mind, and she will need some space. She knows you care and that will do for now. Hope you feel better now about the situation. Good luck to you and your friend

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Evesmama · 23/05/2005 14:55

hi, have you heard from your friend???
is her ds ok??

FIMAC1 · 23/05/2005 17:33

She won't be able to have her phone switched on in hospital anyway - you can call and leave a msg with the ward clerk? Its nice to know that people are thinking of you when you are in hosptial with a sick child - they will leave her a note - you can say you have left a msg on her mobile

ditherdither · 23/05/2005 20:13

Just thought I'd update on this - my friend rang me this afternoon - her little boy was discharged this morning. He is improving, has been given an inhaler, but hopefully over the worst.

Thanks so much for all your wise words . She really appreciated my message on Sat, we're going to reschedule our night out when she's caught up on her sleep and knows her ds2 is on the mend properly.

OP posts:

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