My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

General health

Worried about my Mum's weight - how to help her gain weight?

12 replies

futurity · 02/05/2004 19:48

My Mum is 65 and 5ft 5/5ft 4 in height. Over the last 18 months she has gone from just over 9st to 8 stone or just under. She lost weight due to a stomach bug and it never went back on...she then had another bug and the same thing happened. I figure this has happened 3 times over that time period. When I have a tummy bug I may "lose" 5lbs but it goes back on but it isn't with her.

The added complication is that she has a very limited diet due to stomach/colon problems (she had colon cancer..dont know all the details) so she can't just "pig out" to gain the weight back. She eats mainly fish/bread/vegetables/salads/yogurt/cheese I think (haven't lived at home for 12 years so not quite sure but that is basically her diet). Any "rich" foods just give her upset tummy.

She came over today and I noticed she looked thiner and she weighed herself and my wizzy scales said she was 8 stone (this was in the middle of the day with clothes on). She is extremely active and gardens lots and has lots of muscles but there is nothing to her. My dad phoned up just now without her knowing and expressed his concern about her weight. He doesn't seem to think she wants to do anything about it..from my chat with her I think that she does..she just doesn't know what to do given her limited diet. She spoke to the doctor previously but he was only interested in if she had lost the weight suddenly or over time. I get the impression that it is the same doctor she has had forever and that he isn't very clued up on womens health! I told my Dad she should see a female doctor but he isn't sure she would do that.

Anyway...I am going to do some research on the internet but thought I would give Mumsnet my first visit in the hope that people have ideas on what to do next and how she could gain weight. Dad mentioned products which he remembers being advertised called "Weight ON" or something like that but it made me think that I have seen stuff like that before in Boots but I thought they were just for body builders etc?

Sorry..long waffling post..I hope it makes sense..would just like some thoughts/ideas as it is scary when you have to start thinking about your parents health!

OP posts:
Report
geekgrrl · 02/05/2004 20:03

you can buy nutritional supplements like 'complan' and 'buildup' in boots and large supermarkets. they are high in calories and meant for this purpose, you can buy them ready-mixed in cans or as a powder to make a milkshake. maybe that would help? you must be so worried about her, i'd be devastated if anything was wrong with my parents' health.

Report
furniture · 02/05/2004 20:08

futurity, rather than the 'build up' drinks you can buy over the counter which are quite rich if she's got a dodgy stomach and also expensive, I'd get your GP to prescribe some drinks called 'fortisip' or 'fortijuice' which are 300 cals each and completely easy to digest. If she had 2 of those a day for a month or so I'm sure she'd gain weight quite well.

Report
JennH · 02/05/2004 20:18

You can get prescription drinks filled with calories and such so I would encourage her to go to her GP.

To be honest all the things she eats will help her put weight on, bread and cheese specially. You need to eat 3500 cals extra to put on just one pound, so its not that easy.

Older people do tend to be smaller, so whilst she is very thin its not entierly unhealthy if she puts on half a stone she will be back in the normal weight zone.

Encourage her to eat slightly bigger portions, and have balanced meals. Maybe use slightly fattier meat? (lean instead of extra lean)

Report
tigermoth · 02/05/2004 20:32

oh please get her to go back to the doctor. I hate to worry you but your message brings back memories of my mum. I sincerely hope there is nothing more to it than tummy bugs, but I have to tell you what happened in our case.

My mum had a hysterectomy and colostmy due to cancer in her late 60s. She was given the all clear for her cancer and got on with life. She was very active but had to be careful about her diet. Nearly 20 years on she began to lose weight. I became worried, put it down to her diet and felt she was not looking after herself (my dad had just died). She went to her doctor a number of times about her weight, but because she was so well and had been clear of cancer for so many years, the doctor (her long time regular one) wasn't alarmed. I got her to take supplements but nothing worked. As others say, older people can lose weight for so many reasons. But sadly the cancer had come back. Once it was discovered six months later, it was too late for treatment. I hesitated about writing this as I don't want to scare you, but I feel you should consider pushing for a proper check up from your mum's doctor - or get her to see another one.

Hope your mum is fine and this is nothing more than her diet.

Report
futurity · 02/05/2004 20:33

Hmm...just thinking that she probably doesn't eat too much cheese at the moment (although know she does as I have seen them on crackers!). I think the only "meat" she eats is fish.

OP posts:
Report
futurity · 02/05/2004 20:36

Thank you for posting that tigermoth..I do want to hear all opinions and experiences so that I can forward details onto my Dad and we can both approach her with facts rather than "we think you weigh too little". I defintely think seeing a different doctor is the first step.

OP posts:
Report
tigermoth · 02/05/2004 20:39

good luck and I hope things work out.

Report
futurity · 03/05/2004 12:14

Emailed my dad all your comments last night and he was well impressed! He told me to phone Mum as it would be better coming from me (she doesn't listen to him!).

Anyway..just spoke to her and firstly said about the high calories drinks and she said they were "yuk..and where does the weight go on!?" HMMM! Anyway..swiftly moved onto Tigermouths post and she had turns out she also had hysterectomy and colostmy due to cancer so it hit a cord with her. I think it freaked her out and she said sarcastically "thank you dear!". Anyway..she then discussed with me about how they keep an eye on her cancer which is due to blood tests and watching her plate levels (?) and the last time she had it done was a year ago which was just after she started loosing weight. I told her to go back to the doctor and added on for effect "because I didn't sleep last night worrying!". So that's it really..done my bit and I expect she will do something as she hates me fussing!

Many thanks for all your help..what would I do without Mumsnet!!

OP posts:
Report
tigermoth · 03/05/2004 18:57

Hope your mum wasn't too upset about my posting but I am so glad she is going back to the doctor and pushing for more tests.

Report
futurity · 03/05/2004 19:07

I think your posting was what was needed...talking about calorie drinks and such like didn't seem enough to get her to sort herself out. I shall pester her now everytime I talk to her on the phone to make sure she does go back to the doctors as I know what she is like ..doesn't like to fuss!

OP posts:
Report
futurity · 20/05/2004 20:36

Update: Apparentely she has been to the doctors for a check-up on the cancer and that came back all clear. That's the good news..the not so good is that my Dad phoned to tell me this but said he is concerned that she still doesn't seem to be doing anything about the weight gain so I assume the doctor hasn't given her anything as Dad would know? My Mum hasn't told me that she has been to the doctors so not looking forward to having to nag her again which is what my Dad wants. Seeing them on Sunday so good opportunity to get an update from her in person..she won't talk on the phone about it.

GRRRR...PARENTS!

OP posts:
Report
tigermoth · 27/05/2004 23:42

futurity, I hope the visit and talk went well. I am very glad about the all clear.

You are very wise to keep an eye on things, though - regular doctor visits definitely if your mum is still losing weight. Don't want to depress you but the doctors were keen to tell my mum she was fine for ages when in fact she was not. In my case, my mum got evasive about exactly what the check ups entailed. That made it harder to determine what went on. But that's my story. Yours I am sure will be different.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.