I have had to keep quiet about what happened to me for legal reasons, but yesterday the lawyers decided my surgeon has no case to answer. I had a Dynesis which failed so had it taken out & had a triple spinal fusion on 27 May 2011 which went horribly wrong. I came round from the op screaming in pain & was eventually taken to Intensive Care. The next day (a Saturday), I spent 8 hours screaming in pain whilst NHS doctors refused to help me as I had my op privately and also whilst the nurses left me with an empty morphine pump. I thought I had a blood clot that was going to kill me & nobody could tell me different. My surgeon had buggered off straight after the op & was nowhere to be seen. <br> Eventually someone came & sent me for an emergency MRI as they too thought I had a clot, but apparently all was OK!! I was sent to High Dependency & put on a ketamine pump before ending up back in Intensive Care due to pain. My surgeon re-appeared on the Sunday & did NOTHING - he diagnosed an "abnormal pain reaction", even though after he fitted my Dynesis, I got up & walked the same day & went home the day after. After the fusion I could also no longer feel or control my left leg properly. A few days later, he even tried to discharge me when I couldn't get out of bed & still had a catheter. <br> 18 months later, out of desperation I paid £10k for pioneering keyhole surgery - all 3 levels caused pain when probed but one was worse soa doctor looked at that level and found a bone spur had been left plus a large "loose" piece of bone which had to be cut to be taken out. I had massive scar tissue & untold damage had been caused. My ligaments were tethered to muscle with scar tissue, the nerve was impinged and had no "pulsatility" - think that means no pulse! You can see all this from the picture below. But as the surgeon could only work at one level due to time as there was so much scar tissue (I was in around 4 hours, longer than the triple fusion), he packed the rest of the area with anaesthetic - he told me he feared it would come back to bite me, it did.<br> I had hoped the legal case would pay for more keyhole surgery to help fix me to a point where I can "live". I take 60mg slow release morphine per day, 7 Tramadol, 7 Paracetamol and top all that up with extra morphine & Diazepam most days. I am 41 with 2 boys aged just 8 and 9 with a husband who works in London all day so can't help me. In fact, it feels like nobody will help me and that there is no justice in this world - the surgeon has no case to answer because we can't prove he was negligent, but look at how he has left me.<br> I do my best to make the best of a very bad job by still horseriding once per week on extra drugs & strapping my flappy leg to my saddle with Velcro - not safe, but then it is the only time I am treated like a "normal" person, it keeps me from going completely insane. Now though, I fear dreadfully for what the future holds for me - I am getting worse & rapidly, nobody will help me. I don't know what to do. Any ideas?<br>I have lost numerous friends over this as they can't deal with my illness & disability now. If I am in the school, I often get ignored for whatever reason. I use a wheelchair pretty much whenever I leave the house. I spend most days on my sofa as I am so poorly, having to take at least 2 sleeps during the day, although I have tried to set up & run my own little holiday business on the internet just to keep my brain working, but can only work on it on good days for an hour or two, so funnily enough, isn't yet turning a profit! But I keep trying! Night time is the worst, if I get 3 hours sleep in a row I feel lucky. Every single day is a struggle & it is only my husband & kids that keep me going. But this has given me a real body blow & I don't know where to turn & what hope to cling on to now.<br><br>PS Sorry for the VERY long post x