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General health

Why do I struggle to explain myself when I see the GP?

8 replies

KatyMac · 21/07/2014 19:12

I always know what I want to say
I write it down
I try to stay calm & firm

I end up upset, often in tears & with a diagnosis of depression, even when I go for something basic like a UTI or chest infection Hmm

It's pathetic

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Amy106 · 22/07/2014 17:59

Maybe you need a new GP, one that you find easier to speak to. Have you considered having someone come with you to your appointments for support? Good luck and try not to worry. Thanks

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wyrdyBird · 22/07/2014 18:11

It's not pathetic at all KatyMac.
Something must happen to make you feel that upset.
Some doctors are hard to talk to. Is that the problem for you? Or is it something else?

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iklboo · 22/07/2014 18:16

Your GP may be fine with your written version - they can get an idea of your concerns & ask the right sort of questions.

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ColdCottage · 22/07/2014 18:16

Explain to the receptionist they you find it hard to talk to the doctor sometimes and could they put you with one who is gentle/good listener.

Also write it all down to give the doctor to read before you explain further.

Good luck, my DH always forgets or misses things so takes me with him. He is a confidant person who can present at work and happy in social situations so don't think it's just you. I think a lot of people struggle to explain personal things to someone they don't know that well.

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PoshPenny · 22/07/2014 18:51

Could it be anxiety because you are at the doctors, and you are subconsciously expecting what you have to tell them to be dismissed out of hand (that's what I think happens to me at any rate, and then it takes me months to psych myself up to go back for further attempts to make myself heard, might this be the case for you?). could you take someone along with you for moral support? if you get upset, if you've briefed them, they could carry on and do some talking for you until you're back on a more even keel...

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KatyMac · 24/07/2014 21:26

I'm sorry I didn't respond straight away - even thinking about it upsets me

Being dismissed is my biggest fear - I was for 4 years I complained about pains in my hands & feet & pins and needles and it kept being 'depression' then finally after having a strop seeing a rheumatologist it was Fibromyalgia

They have also been fairly good at misdiagnosing our family (not this surgery just medics generally)

& I had a major problem with DD 4 yrs ago & I still get very upset about it all

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temporaryusername · 25/07/2014 21:52

I'm sorry to hear you've had this problem, I do understand. It sounds like maybe you've had bad experiences with doctors dismissing valid concerns, and go in fearful of the same thing happening, with good reason. Either that or you have quite a lot of anxiety which comes out once you are in a setting where you are supposed to telling someone what is wrong. The first seems more likely, and even if it is partly the second you still need them to deal with the more practical stuff. It might help to start afresh with a new GP. Also it might be worth being really direct when you go in and actually saying, before I start I just want to say that I'm concerned I get emotional and my point gets lost - explain you've had some problematic times in the past and can they just bear with you and overlook it for now as it isn't what you've come in about. If you are very logical and direct they sometimes accept it. It isn't your fault though, any good doctor should be able to see all aspects of the situation. I sometimes steel myself so much that I end up describing bad problems in a really detached, emotionless voice - it probably comes across just as strangely but sometimes I have to be direct too and say, ok I'm not crying now but trust me I am very upset about this, I'm just trying to be efficient in the appointment.

I did have once consultant who I realised wasn't right for me as I left every appointment in tears, which never happened with any other doctor. After 3 times of that, and only with him, I cut my losses and told the department I did not want to see him again and asked to be re-allocated. They didn't seem surprised, I think he had that effect on a few people.

Sorry you've had to put up with rubbish responses from doctors in the past. I hope you get someone you feel is listening.

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Rivercam · 25/07/2014 21:56

There is actually a condition called WCH. ie, white coat hypertension, when your blood pressure rises when you see a nurse or doctor.

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