I'm not sure if this probably should go in health, but I suppose this is as good a place as any.
I don't even know what I want to gain from posting this, defiantly not for a diagnosis. I guess I just want reassurance that I'm not crazy to consider the possibility that I might have it and maybe see if there's other people here who didn't get a diagnosis until later on in life.
For a few years now I've actually wondered whether I have Aspergers syndrome. I'm going to say something quite cliché here but I've always been aware that I'm 'different', even from a very young age, around 5 or so I was always very aware that I wasn't like other people my age. One of the main things is I've always struggled with social situations. I don't always know when it's my turn to speak and often get confused about what is considered acceptable or inappropriate when talking to people. There have been numerous instances where I've said something inappropriate and not realised that it is until somebody points it out to me. Because I don't always know what to say or what is always appropriate means I often just stay quiet. I've been labelled as being shy ever since I was young child which I've always just went along with but I think it's more than that. It's not that I'm shy, I just stay quiet because of the reasons I mentioned above. I'd rather stay quiet than say something completely inappropriate or offensive without realising it and upsetting someone.
General day to day social situations also confuse me so much. This is going to sound stupid but I just don't "get" general chit chat and have no idea how to engage in it. As a result of my social awkwardness I've found it hard to make and keep friends.
I like routine. I always plan things down to the last detail, even something as basic as going to the shop and whenever something happens that means my plan can't go ahead as normal, for example a bus being late or someone I'm supposed to be meeting being late, I get upset and panicked. I like everything done a specific way and pretty much have a basic routine I stick to on a day to day basis and if something disrupts this then like I said before I get really upset. Which is silly, I don't even know why I do.
Then there's the fact I get fixated on certain things. Ever since I was little, I've went through phases of being obsessed with a particular game/tv show/film/book to the point where I think about the subject I'm obsessed with at that time pretty much for a good portion of the day, every day. When I get fixated on the subject, I browse the web on the subject, desperate to find every little bit of information I can, want to talk about it constantly and read/watch/play whatever it is I'm fixated on every day. Then when one obsession ends, it is replaced by another.
Hopefully I'm not going on too much, but I've always also been very sensitive to sound and touch. Loud noises seem to grate right through me and I get annoyed by sounds that other people can't even seem to hear. I get the feeling sounds seem louder to me than other people. I also find it very hard to filter out background noise. If I need to concentrate I need complete silence. I also hate people touching me when I'm not expecting it or even when I am expecting it, I still don't like it. This is embarrassing but I've never actually had sex even though I'm 22. It's not that I don't want to but I hate the idea of someone being that physically close to me. Actually doing something that intimate with someone is just too much for me. Even kissing is often too much for me to handle and can make me panic.
When I first started to suspect I have AS I actually looked it up, thought it sounded a lot like me but there were certain things that didn't fit me and made me think that I couldn't possibly have it because of this or that or whatever. But then not long ago I came across an article about females with the disorder and it made me do a double take.
It was this article I came across originally www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php/about-aspergers/girls-and-women-who-have-aspergers
I've since did more research on females with it and it seems to describe me down to a t. When I originally looked up the disorder, I didn't realise that females often present different symptoms to males and what I originally read up on it was probably based more around males with the disorder which is why I thought that it sounded a bit like me but not completely and why some things sounded off.
The things that are listed as female specific traits of AS that fit me include: often crying because of emotional overload, clapping my hands whenever I get excited, my obsessions being based around celebrities, tv shows, characters, etc as mentioned above rather than numbers, statistics, etc. Those are just a couple of examples, there are more apparently female only specific traits that fit me too.
However I think I'm actually pretty good at hiding my difficulties I've had which females are apparently better at than males. Even so that does make me wonder whether it would actually be possible to cover it up as well as I do if I had the disorder.
I have no idea about how I would even get a diagnosis either, especially given the fact I'm female and they often get overlooked when it comes to diagnosis. I'm not even sure if it would be even worth getting a diagnosis.
I'd be interested to hear from other ladies who didn't get a diagnosis until adulthood about whether it would be worth it or not.
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General health
To think I might have Aspergers Syndrome? (warning, long)
PepsiBubbles · 18/10/2013 21:54
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