I need massive handholding, please

[Knittingnovice]

I have 3 beautiful children DS 5y4m, DD1 3y8m and DD2 6 months.

All I can hear at the moment is DD2 screaming at DH as he tries to force her to take a bottle, because for the 2nd time in 3 years I have been told I have cancer.

In 2011 I was diagnosed with bowel cancer, it came as a complete shock, I had a grade 4 n0 tumour removed, 6 months of chemo and thought I was all clear. All my scans had shown I was all clear.

Since having DD2 I have lost a massive amount of weight (20kg), had persistent, explosive bowel movements and experienced bloating like I have never had.

After 2 colonoscopies, 2 endoscopes & 2 CT scans I have today been told that I have inoperable peritoneal disease ( a tumour in the abdominal lining causing an ulcer in my stomach) and liver metastases. It has taken 4 months for all these investigations.

My oncologist wants to start chemo as soon as possible.

I now face a future of chemo, uncertainty and the fear that I might not live to see my children grow up.

I have not namechanged for this as I use this name on twitter and my blog.

If you recognise me, I have not told all my family yet so please do not out me.

While I have been writing this DH has brought me a distraught DD2 and she is happily feeding.

I need help to wean her onto bottles - currently I am using boots wide necked with fast flow tears and cannot really afford to spend a lot trying different bottles.

I don't know what I am asking. Just I know you are not a nest of vipers and provide the amazing support you can.

[Locketjuice]

I'm so sorry xx

[culturemulcher]

Oh gosh knitting I'm so, so, sorry. What a shock. Here's my hand. You hold on to it as hard and as long as you need.

[Locketjuice]

I don't know what to say other than keep positive and strong! When you need to let it all out, do it, such an awful situation and so cruel! Xxx

Hand holding and hugs!

[LittleMissWise]

I don't know what to say.

I am so, sorry..

Handholding and positive vibes from the E.Midlands.xxx

[Knittingnovice]

Thank you.

What truly sucks at the moment is I have the eminem song - Guess who's back, back again, going round and round my head!!

[Rosa]

What a complete and horrible thing for you and your family to deal with. i wish you every luck in the world that you pull through this and you can see your children grow up.
As for bottles smaller teat ( holes) possibly. I used bottles as had to mix feed but it was 7 years ago and used The Browns one ( Dr Browns I think) but I am sure somebody can come on and advise. Can you shove a muslin or similar down your top so it gets your smell and then dh try again. Will dd accept a bottle from you ???
Wishing you love , luck and support.....

[sewingandcakes]

That's awful, I'm so sorry.

I hope you can get dd2 onto bottles easily; things need to be as simple as possible for you now. We used the wide necked Tommee Tippee teats, and what about trying a beaker if she won't have a bottle?

My thoughts are with you and family.

[supafish]

Sending you strength hun , and a massive cyber hug xxx

[FunnysInLaJardin]

very sorry to hear your news Knitting. Wishing you strength at this difficult time

[aleene]

I'm so sorry you have had bad news. Sending you all best wishes.

[Rotterwallah]

Shit. I'm so sorry :(

On the practical front at 6 months could you just use a beaker? Both mine went straight onto those basic tommy tippee ones from the boob

Good luck

[Mama1980]

I'm so sorry. Here's my hand to hold anytime.
Sending strength x

[ThePuffyShirt]

Really sorry to read this. Wishing you strength.

[grimbletart]

So sorry knitting. Please talk to us any time. Another hand to hold.

[TeaAndSconesTwice]

So, so sorry to read this knitting, big hugs to you & your family x

[kelda]

So sorry to hear this

[Knittingnovice]

rotterwaller hadn't thought of that, have loads of beakers from the others so it's worth a shot.

Can you give warm drinks in them?

I've also got a couple of doidy cups maybe I'll try those too. Thank you

[ohmeohmyforgotlogin]

So sorry to hear what you are going through. I do massage for cancer care, pm me if I can do anything for you.

[Lilymaid]

Come and chat with the Tamoxifen Gang - we are very nice and supportive and by no means only breast cancer patients.

[Rotterwallah]

Yes, just warm milk is fine, obviously give it a hood shake and try it first.

I had a bit of a mental block about it because they can't do that long, deep sucking into sleep but for dd the novelty of the beaker won over and before she knew it she'd had enough milk to sate her, then a nice warm cuddle. Job done.

Worth a go

[malteserzz]

Like lily I was going to say come over to the tamoxifen thread, we have all different types of cancer at various stages, lots of us have young children and so we do understand

[MegaClutterSlut]

Really sorry to hear that op, another handhold

[Theonlyoneiknow]

Handhold too from Scotland x

DS refused a bottle and eventually I managed to get him to take it by pouring just boiler water on the teat and letting it cool a little but so it was warm like a nipple.

Xx

[anothernamechangerreally]

Hand holding from here too. I looked on your blog and saw that you are local to me, if you ever need anything, support, tea, whatever, just let me know. I cAn't imagine what you are going through.

[poorincashrichinlove]

So sorry...thinking about you and sending you virtual hugs, healing & sympathy xxx