Just been for a smear - the nurse couldn't find my cervix

[Growlithe]

Now I'm booked in to have the doctor do it. Where has it gone? They've found it every other time.

Has anyone else had a cervix that's gone AWOL?

[mice]

Yes, this happened to me once. I was a bit worried it meant there was something wrong but I went back and it was found straightaway :-) i was told it was in a slightly unusual position and I may have had to lie on my side ratherthan my back but all was fine. All my future smears have been stariaghtforward too so please don't panic!

[Growlithe]

Thanks mice. She tried putting me on my side and nearly found it but despite a lot of rummaging about had no success in the end. Hope the doctor can.

[ThingummyBob]

I once had two practice nurses and a (female) doctor all seraching for mine

Now I go to a local hospital gynae unit and use one of those legs-akimbo-recliner chair thingies, much quicker and easier all round

Do you have a contraceptive implant? Its quite common apparently.

[Growlithe]

I don't have an implant no. When I was on my side I didn't know where to put my 'top' leg.

[doyouwantfrieswiththat]

You can lose them?!

[janinlondon]

If you put your two bunched fists under your bum (raising it up an inch or so) they can usually see it. If the doc has trouble, give it a try.

[Growlithe]

janin I did that too! It's gone hasn't it?

[Sidge]

I'm a practice nurse and very occasionally (but not often cos I'm frickin awesome at taking smears ) can't find a cervix. I may see the edge of it but can't see the os clearly - that's the hole that needs to be sampled, so if you can't get a good view of it you can't get a decent sample.

My advice is to lie completely flat, and try and lie on the top of your bottom ie the fleshy part rather than the lower, bum-bones part. If you're sitting up a bit you can end up sitting on your cervix so it hides. Also lying on your hands can help tilt the pelvis so the cervix pops into view.

Some women do have very high, tilted cervices so lying them on the side can make it come down and forward. Just curl up on your side, you shouldn't need to wave your leg in the air, just rest it on top of the other one.

[doyouwantfrieswiththat]

Goodness. When I lose things dp says look harder in the place It' s meant to be.

[Sparklingbrook]

You need to retrace your steps

[AwkwardSquad]

Maybe you put it somewhere sensible?

[ATouchOfStuffing]

Yes, mine is a way to the left of my body for some reason! Was problematic when I needed a sweep as apparently I am long and narrow so took quite a few attempts each time. It can help if you ball your fists and put them under your bum, if they didn't try that already?

[SoleSource]

Happened to me time before last and took over an hour to find it!

[Growlithe]

I'm blaming DH. He's always moving stuff and not putting it back when he's finished.

[digerd]

It must be dark in there and the taller you are ,apparently, the higher up it is, so even farther away from the light. Don't they have a small battery operated search light on the end of the opener/sercher/probe? < grin>
Wonder what happened to it in the last 3 years? Definitely DH's fault.

Hope they find where it has gone!

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Have you checked down the back of the sofa?

[Telesales650]

That is very funny Growlithe

[Yotamsrazor]

Yes! Mine is retroverted (tilted backwards). None of the nurses in my GPs can locate the sodding thing. Last time I went for a smear, the nurse had to get one of the GPs in to excavate.

Ive had a few gynae probs over the last few years and the young doctor who examined me last had to call his superior in to find it. I really felt sorry for him having to explain to his boss that he couldn't find a cervix. The consultant got me to put my fists under my bum and she located it straight away. If I have someone who doesn't know how to deal with such a phenomena, smear tests are either impossible or agonising. I have a friend who is a doctor and she says it's not unusual for the cervix to be tilted or to one side and that with experience medics do get to work out how to seek them out. So don't worry - maybe the nurse doesn't have a lot of experiences with cervixing.

[Growlithe]

Well, I finally went back today (AF and holiday got in the way) and the doctor still couldn't find it, despite working her way through every corkscrew thingy in the surgery.

I'm now being sent to the 'clinic', where hopefully they'll have a map.

[Sparklingbrook]

Oh Growlithe. Did they say why the clinic might be able to find it but they can't?

[Growlithe]

She said they have specialists there, and those tables from a torture chamber that get you in the right position.

I've been so brave as well.

[Sparklingbrook]

When are you off to the clinic?

[Growlithe]

You can go any day, it's drop in and they're on each day on at different health centres, none of them are too far away so that's good.

She told me to phone so they can tell me which ones the specialists attend.

I don't know whether to take DH for moral support - although when he found out what they actually did for a smear he thought it was barbaric and reckoned there had to be a better way.

[Sparklingbrook]

Well it will be educational for him.

[Growlithe]

He may never be able to open a bottle of wine again. And that would ever do.