Hi Baconsarnie:-) (Great name by the way:-), thanks for the posting. We are still getting to grips as to how to reply on this, so hopefully you will get this!.

We are in Amersham at the north end of the Metropolitan line (30 mins from central london). Where are you?

You are probably going through similar to that of our 20 month old - which is a precious time:-).

We tried contacting you directly through this, but it says you dont accept email messages from other mumsnet members. But if you (or anyone reading this) would like to contact us direct, our email is primeblue@yahoo.com

We dont get on the net much, so if there is a bit of a delay in getting back its not that we are ignoring you:-)

Hope to hear from you soon

Take care

Littlewonders

Hey guys

what a coincidence. Im a single gay dad and am looking of support (and I live down the road from you...Ruislip)

I found this site doing a search, but I also found a WHOLE site dedicated to gay fathers. In fact , I am going along to my first coffee evening taking place this wednesday in Soho. Wish you could come so Im not the only newbie

The site is: http://www.gaydads.co.uk. I felt uncomfortable about paying the tiny subscription charge, but glad I did. Ive only been a member for about 36 hours and already am being contacted by people interested in my profile and wanting to share their experiences.

They have a national network and seem to have a variety of events where they can meet up through the year.

My email is: Mulattokid@aol.com if you wanna chat...in any case...best of luck

Cheers

x

M

Hi again everyone,

Thanks for the additional posts and support. We have all been down with some form of lurgae this week, which everyone in our 3 year olds nursery seems to have, but the doctor just said its 'viral' and to let it run its course. Its hard seeing your little ones ill, but lots of hugs and cuddles seems to be the bonus:-)

For anyone that wishes to mail us direct, (as we clearly dont get on the PC as much as we would like), you can contact us at:
primeblue@yahoo.com, also, we have activated the message link on here (although am not sure how it works), so try that too if you like.

We would love to meet other parents, and yes, you are right, we need to just get ourselves out there to become as 'unremarkable' as possible. Its not as if we walk around like the 'only gay in the village', as no-one would ever think we were gay dads until they worked out that the kids get picked up by either papa or dada:-)

It just scares us that people can be cruel and homophobic, which the kids neither understand or deserve. They are beautiful, sensitive, caring and considerate kids, we thank god every day for giving us such wonderful kids. We probably just need to have a close circle of supportive friends rather than the negative contacts we have had to date, so hopefully that will evolve naturally..

I know that some religions frown, (if not condemn) homosexuality, but for example, do some of the parents who know about us at nursery really need to forceably pull their kids away as if we and the kids have leprosy? We keep ourselves to ourselves, are always polite and be ideal citizens - we even invited everyone from the nursery class (all 28) to our 3 year olds birthday party, only to find some of the invites intentionally torn up outside the entrance for us to see when we left. We try to shrug it off for the sake of the kids, but its hard to explain why a classmate and friend isnt allowed to play with them. Any suggestions on how to manage that would be more than welcome.

In the meantime, have a good weekend everyone, and we hope to hear from some of you soon.

Take care

LittleWonders

*PS we are in Amersham - at the north end of the Metropolitan line.

Hi, mildmanneredjanit

Just read your response to a part of my post about the subgroup of parents who are very proactive in having children. I didn't mean to cause offence to man/woman couples. In fact, I intended to include in my subgroup of proactive choice parents, any person or couple who has/have very proactively chosen to parent and to distinguish those from people who kind of get PG 'by accident' or as a natural by-product of man/woman sex - including those incidents where everyone is very happy it happened. The point I was trying to make was that for some of us, you included, it has to be and is a very proactive decision, either because we're gay/lesbian or single or a heterosexual couple with fertility issues. I still don't meant to dismiss anyone at all who has progeny more as a happy by-product. I just wanted to emphasise that particular starting point where someone has to take a long, hard look and reflect deeply on the meaning of having children and the very proactive manner in which that would need to be done. I was trying to suggest that as well as there being, of course, millions of fantastic 'accidental' parents, there's this subgroup who have had to work hard at all stages of trying to become a parent and how that's a great starting point for any potential child - who is clearly very very much planned for as well as very much wanted.

Hope this clarifies things?

Hi Littlewonders,

Like unrequited said, do come and chat on other forums too. Welcome to Mumsnet and sorry you haven't had support in RL (real life).

Hi Littlewonders,

Sanfran and I would be up for meeting!? e0mail address is audreymichelle82@yahoo.co.uk

Hope to hear from you!!!

I thought you meant 'titless' Sausage which I thought was post-modern irony gorn mad.

LW, you might want to post on the Dadsnet topic too, but agree, I'd just jump in anywhere on here. Not sure about any answers to isolation, it can be like that in the first few years anyway. Once preschool and the school run starts that all changes.

'boring you tiless' ?! I meant to type 'witless'. Sorry....

Hi Littlewonders, just wanted to add my message of support - and I hope you don't feel like you should stick to just this forum, there's loads of bunfights interesting repartee going on elsewhere on the boards and for the most part m-netters are a tolerant bunch.

It's ironic isn't it, that you live in an area that you judge to be in your kids' best interests, and end up marginalising yourselves? If it was me, I'd just get out there, start joining your local toddler groups, and although there will be some inevitable gossiping, the more visible you are in your area, the more accepted you will become. There are bound to be some cool people you will want make friends with - and it's a good idea to do it now before your kids start school, so that by the time they do, you're unremarkable. You're not JUST gay dads, you're good parents and the sooner people can see that the sooner any controversy will die down.

Hope to see you around

DD - Dear/Darling Daughter
DS - "/" Son
DC - "/" child/ren
DP - "/" Partner
DH - "/" Husband
DW - "/" Wife

Actually, save me boring you tiless, check out the tab marked 'abbreviations' on the Talk menu bar, next to 'getting started'.

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