university open days (am I supposed to go?)

(63 Posts)
AtYourCervix Mon 22-Apr-13 21:01:48

DD is off to Cardiff on wednesday.
She's being all independent and insisting I'm not supposed to go.

(apart from just working out the train will be £30 and getting stroppy about timings - all of which could have been bypassed if I was driving)

Anyway. Am I supposed to be going? Can I trust her to find out important stuff like money and halls and stuff)

I'm clueless. Help.

AtYourCervix Wed 24-Apr-13 18:01:23

She's back. Jumping up and down excited.

I'll be needing to remortgage the house then.....

mirry2 Wed 24-Apr-13 15:39:01

Parents are more likely to go these day because, unlike the old days, they will be making a significant financial investment (and I mean ££££) and so want to see where their money is going.

AtYourCervix Wed 24-Apr-13 15:31:25

Thanks mrsH

MrsHoarder Wed 24-Apr-13 14:23:04

Just in case you're worrying, there seemed to be more groups of teenagers wandering around the university this morning than teen+parent and there are hoards of people in university colours giving directions. They all looked happy too as they got in my way

AtYourCervix Wed 24-Apr-13 08:11:57

Pre. She's going with 3 friends. So i'm not the only lzx parent.

Eeeeeowwwfftz Wed 24-Apr-13 07:50:30

Are we talking pre- or post-application open days here? There is a difference - the first is to encourage students to apply and the second is to interview them (if that is part of the decision making process - might be quite rare these days) and/or encourage students to accept their offers. Many more parents (and brothers and sisters for that matter) attend the former than the latter. Various reasons - tend to be more "drop-in" rather than planned events with a timetable; the visitors are a bit younger; it's more like casing the joint so two or three heads are better than one; if they are held at the weekend it makes for a nice family trip to a city.

At pre-application open days I'd say that 80% - maybe even more - of the visitors come with at least one other family member. At post-application maybe around 50% and usually only one parent.

AtYourCervix Wed 24-Apr-13 07:25:33

Thsnks all. Much appreciated.

exoticfruits Wed 24-Apr-13 06:53:16

She will be fine on her own but open days have changed massively in the last 10 years and it is now the general thing that parents go too. So much so that they send you a hot drink voucher and have special talks for parents and sometimes even a separate tour.

Weegiemum Wed 24-Apr-13 06:36:22

Southampton is good as well as the others mentioned, and Edinburgh is top-class (that's where I went) but if she's not going to get points for Bristol then it's unlikely she'd get in there.

Tell her to get used to people asking "so are you going to be a teacher, then?" For the next 4 years at least!

JellicleCat Wed 24-Apr-13 00:25:18

DD went on her own, booked all the travel herself and an overnight stay in a Travellodge for one of the visits.

I think it is good experience, although I appreciate there are some who find it more difficult to cope than others.

She is 18 next month and has just booked her first holiday abroad with a friend. In other words, it gets worse!! (And she is still my baby too).

noddyholder Tue 23-Apr-13 15:04:54

My oldest friends daughter is doing geography at sussex. In yr 2 and loving it Is in LA atm on a 'field trip'!

DS1's college is running quite a few trips. The cost by coach is only £10 so he is going on trips to Cambridge, Warwick, Durham and Leeds.
Other than that he will have to go by car or rail. Some places are so far I reckon an overnight stay might be necessary. (Actually I was rather hoping for a weekend in Durham).
I was thinking that when he has , hopefully, got offers, that I would go with him on the post application open days on the grounds that his choices have been narrowed down by then.

Exeter would be nice especially for geography I think as it's in such a pretty part of the world, with beaches and charming villages. I think Exeter came top in some recent poll for student satisfaction. - I did my PGCE there and went to some lovely village schools in Devon.

I also went to Bristol, including doing geography as one of my first year options. Is a good student city I think. (Am rapidly outing self but who cares !)

I'm trying to think widely about options and think Greenwich, Cambridge or other place in Cambridge, or Amsterdam could all be good ! Or move to Scotland for a few years and then go to one of theirs < cheapskate ! >

gazzalw Tue 23-Apr-13 11:48:23

I would definitely say that it should be a rite of passage - it's all part of the growing ready to go off to Uni process. If you can't get yourself to a Uni independently, however nervous you are, really you are not ready to spread your wings to one in six months time.

Harsh but fair. It is an anxiety inducing experience but really it is one that a 17/18 year old should be capable of managing alone.

We all did many moons ago and I think we were generally less savvy teens in those days too. I know that I had scarcely ventured out of my home county at 17 when I had to go off to Uni interviews.

However, I can see that now, with Uni no longer being free, parents are more involved in decision-making because they hold the purse-strings (to some extent) for fees etc.... So from that point of view can well see why parents wish to go if only to see what their hard-earned salaries will be spent on.

Nevertheless, at the most I would suggest accompanying your DC and then going off to look around the city/town and chill :-).

MarjorieAntrobus Tue 23-Apr-13 11:42:10
MarjorieAntrobus Tue 23-Apr-13 11:38:16

More universities for geog - Leeds, UCL, Durham

fussychica Tue 23-Apr-13 11:25:24

I went alone donkeys years ago.

We were living abroad when DS went. He flew over alone for a couple then we took him to one whilst we were in the UK for other reasons. You'll not be alone if you go but equally loads of kids will be on their own. If my DS can fly over on his own at 17 and stay over night in a B&B I'm sure your DD will be fine.

Other Uni's for Geography - Sheffield, Nottingham or Aberystwyth.

AtYourCervix Tue 23-Apr-13 10:49:16

Weegie - she's thinking cardiff, exeter,, lancaster. Fancies Bristol but probably won't get the points for there (doing IB).

Where else can I guide her towards?

alreadytaken Tue 23-Apr-13 09:46:55

in the days when I went off - on my own, on the train - to open days they were relatively small and calm events. They are now complex, crowded events with lots of different talks.

I have taken my child to some open days/interviews, driven them to at least one where I dropped them off and went somewhere else for the day and let them go on entirely on their own. For some they have not wanted me there, others they have and on more than one occasion I've been told they'll go alone only for them to complain afterwards that everyone else had their parents with them.

The only thing you can be sure about is that a mother's place is in the wrong! Therefore my recommendation is to do what you would like to do. You will notice some things that your child misses but it doesn't justify the loss of a day unless you want to go.

noddyholder Tue 23-Apr-13 09:42:51

Sensua thats probably right My ds has been abroad with his mates skating and been to loads of festivals.

Poledra Tue 23-Apr-13 09:36:12

Good point, senua - we really had been nowhere solo before at that age!

Weegiemum Tue 23-Apr-13 09:35:32

OP, where is she applying for Geography <asks the Geog teacher> apart from Cardiff?

senua Tue 23-Apr-13 09:30:16

Back in the dark ages ...I got there on the train by myself and felt very proud!

Perhaps that's the difference. Back in the day, my visits to University were also my first solo ventures. These days, DC have gone on intercontinental trips with school or have organised their own post-GCSE holidays so a trip up the motorway is no big deal - nothing to prove so no need to go solo.
If the car is easier and cheaper than public transport, then why not do it?

senua Tue 23-Apr-13 09:23:42

It's not about taking control, its about taking an interest.

Totally.
And it's fun to have a day out!

Poledra Tue 23-Apr-13 09:17:10

Back in the dark ages, when I went to uni, it was unheard of for parents to come. I can still remember going to the open day for the uni I eventually attended - nobody else from my school went, and I got there on the train by myself and felt very proud! I met another girl there and, at the end of the day, we sat in the bar at the station having a drink together before our respective trains left. God, I thought we were the ultimate in sophistication!

With regards to finances, my parents paid a full parental contribution for me. So, any information that came in on finance I shared with them, and they helped me work out costs etc. However, the open days were more about deciding if you liked the look and feel of the dept and town rather than hard facts.

Anyway, I'd go with what your daughter wants - maybe after she's done one, she'll decide that it would be quite nice to have you there for the others?

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