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Fostering

Fostering a family member- help!

1 reply

BearOoO · 08/07/2014 20:30

Hey everyone,

So here's the story, myself and my other half are being considered as potential foster carers for our baby niece. She has been taken into care which has been overwhelming for our family. We (as a family) have no history of contact with social workers, we are a close family and get on well with her parents. They both (and the rest of the family on both sides) have no history of drug/alcohol abuse, domestic violence etc. They took her to the hospital as she had small swelling on her leg and it turns out she had a broken leg. Apparently the break is consistent with child abuse and could not have been caused by an accident. Our worlds got turned upside down.

We are a young couple in our early-mid twenties and have just moved into together. We don't have kids of our own but do spend a time with other children within the family and friends kids. Both of us work full time and have busy lives. So part of us thinks can we even do this?

I am not sure what I am even asking here. We are just overwhelmed with the situation, everything is out of our control. We just want to do everything we can not to loose our niece into the care system, I am sure it doesn't quite work like that but the worst is happening and so it's easy to spiral down into the darkness. Does anyone have experience with this situation? A child being taken into care when it seems like an impossible situation? And any advice for the assessment of becoming a kinship carers? We have had an initial meeting with our niece's SW and a fostering lady, and another meeting where they gave us some forms to fill in. But that's about it so far.

Thanks on advance, these forums have been so helpful to look through x

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DwellsUndertheSink · 10/07/2014 13:39

My LO has just been approved to go to a kinship carer.

My advice to you is to get EVERYTHING in writing. Especially the financial package on offer. SS have royally screwed over our kinship carer - offering less than half the amount they promised. It is appalling, but nothing was in writing. We were already in transition when SS dropped this bombshell, and the carer is now committed to taking the LO, and is strongly bonded.

With a baby, you would be expected to give up work. COuld you put your career on hold? Can you afford to live on reduced income? Will your partner support you in this? COuld you cope on what SS pays if your partner decided to move out?

Its possible that after careful review, and maybe some parenting courses or some counselling, the baby's parents will get her back. So if you decide to be carer, would your job still be available to you?

You may also find that there is a hidden issue of DV or alcohol abuse, or that the baby had other injuries, which may explain why the child is in care. A lot of abuse happens behind closed doors, and the baby's parents might be in denial or covering up whats been going on.

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