Is there any point in us applying?

[steppemum]

I have wanted to foster for years. Dh has always been in agreement.
In the last few months that has got stronger and stronger, and we agreed yesterday that it would be good to start making inquiries.

We have 3 kids, youngest is 6. We have 4 bedrooms and the kids have one each. So we don't have a spare room. I cannot imagine the girls agreeing to share in order for us to do this.
I suppose in the long term we could do a loft extension or garage conversion etc, but that is not on the cards at the moment (absolutely no money for it)

Is it worth us even making inquiries, as we don't have a spare room?

[suzylee73]

Not really tbh. You absolutely can't foster a child unless there is a bedroom for them to sleep in.

Foster care is a calling and it sounds like you have had the call :) maybe the girls could share temporarily while you save for a loft conversion? Fostering is not something we do for money but you do get paid for it and that would help pay for the build. Agencies generally pay better but some local authorities pay ok too. It's important that you find out how much your local authority pays as some barely cover costs.

So maybe if you could make them share for a while you should make enquires?

[scarlet5tyger]

Just beware that if you "make" your girls share they're very, very likely to resent the children you take in. Foster children can be difficult for birth children to get along with at the best of times. You absolutely need your own children on side.

[steppemum]

I know scarlett, which is why I don't think I could do it.

But dd2 bedroom is very large, and I wondered if we could put a bookcase across the middle so that it is divided into 2 areas. The thing is, that dd2 would probably be happy to share with a younger foster child.

dd1 would not under any circumstances want to share with her sister she did until 1 year ago, and was delighted to get out.

But I don't think that a foster child would be allowed to share with dd2, even with a dividing bookcase??

[LaurieFairyCake]

Not allowed to share at all.

[steppemum]

I do find it very hard that we can't do it now. Now is the best time for us to include a foster child, we are still young enough, our kids are old enough but still young enough, we still have practically lots of things (toys etc)

I do wonder if the shortage of foster families is in part related to the lack of spare rooms as houses and house prices are so squeezed.

[Pedent]

Depending on your house's layout, instead of splitting your son's room with a bookcase, how about using a partition wall?

[Midsummersolstice]

Have a chat with your local authority and see if it might be worth converting your garage, or doing some building works to create the extra room if you are set on fostering. Whilst there are constant adverts from local authorities and fostering agencies saying that foster carers are desperately needed and that you can earn a good wage, the truth is that many foster carers have vacancies for months at a time and that the money is certainly not enough to cover building works, unless you were to do specialist caring. If it stacks up once you have done your sums, then go for it!

[fasparent]

You could foster baby's children under 18 months who would be in your room, this can be a specialist area, with baby's with certain conditions, you will need training and will gain knowledge with experience , preventing secondary problems with very early interventions for many children. think would be worth a though for consideration. Always better with this age group too apply to LA not many will be placed with IFA's., If you prove you are successful and good with this age group and their family's also with eventual outcomes you will have many future placements.

[fasparent]

Must add we have recently worked with a family and child ( A newbie for us as FC's) placing child back with parents we worked with a charity Org
going too house daily offering support and advice with a detailed plan. Must say it worked out successful , baby was with us from birth. Be interesting if any other LA foster parents have experienced this process.

[steppemum]

interesting fas - a friend of mine does mother and baby placements, they are with her for 3-6 months I think.
Initially she isn't allowed to leave the baby out of her sight 24/7, and then as gradually hand over responsibility to mum as she learns.

[Midsummersolstice]

Lady who works with my agency does mother and baby too. Very taxing as steppemum says they are not allowed out of sight, and lots of note taking, observation stuff. I know she finds it difficult when she goes to collect her own children from somewhere and the mother and baby haw to accompany. She has done several of these placements (none of the babies have ended up living with birth mothers in the long run)

[steppemum]

that's interesting midsummer.
I know that several have stayed with birth mum, one couple I know went into a supported house.

sadly I know one couple who kept the baby, but ended up not coping, and the child was taken into care aged 2.

[Midsummersolstice]

I think a fair bit is about evidence gathering, to build a case for adoption. The mothers have been given every chance to succeed, and the babies stay with them for months, but it just hasn't worked out in the cases I've known of.

[steppemum]

we know the couple who then lost their baby aged 2 because they joined our church.

I am heartbroken for them that they have lost dc aged 2, and seriously wonder just how fair it was to let them get this far. Even with all the support they had, it was obvious they were going to struggle
It has made me think hard about the mother and baby thing.

[steppemum]

that sounded a bit odd

we know them because they joined our church, they didn't loose their child because they joined our church!

[NanaNina]

I think you need to be experienced foster carers before taking mother and baby placements. In the LA where I worked, we only used very experienced carers, as it is a very important task, and incidentally it isn't "just to build a case for adoption" it is a way of giving the birth mother/parents the opportunity to see if they can safely care for their child.

In an application made by the LA to court for a Placement Order (which means that if the Judge grants the Order) the child can be placed for adoption, there has to be cast iron evidence that the birthparents are not able to safely care for the child and if left with them he/she would suffer significant harm.

[fasparent]

Our experience was not mother and baby , rather from sustained supervised contact of Foster baby, too introduction and eventual full settlement and reunification with birth parents.