My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Flouncers' corner

Flouncing 101

34 replies

WilfSell · 29/05/2008 20:21

Sign up here please for your first lesson...

Learning objectives: At the end of this module, students will be able to:

  • huff loudly while tossing hair over shoulder
  • click heels together
  • say 'Well, I told you they were all vipers!' in a shrill voice
  • Post 'AND I'm deregistering...' in italics
OP posts:
Report
FluffyMummy123 · 29/05/2008 20:24

Message withdrawn

Report
unknownrebelbang · 29/05/2008 20:25

I don't flounce either.

Don't have the energy.

Report
unknownrebelbang · 29/05/2008 20:25

that......and no bugger would miss me anyway.

Report
WilfSell · 29/05/2008 20:26

I think we will have to add:

  • saying 'no-one will miss me anyway ' in a forlorn voice while smirking hopefully behind collar


to the curriculum...
OP posts:
Report
unknownrebelbang · 29/05/2008 20:27

rofl.

Maybe.

Report
theAfkaUrbanDryad · 29/05/2008 21:58

i'm off

you're all a bunch of bitches.

Report
WilfSell · 29/05/2008 22:05

The Assessment will be a short essay and an oral presentation on the theme of:

'The Bitch Through the Decades: Is she a bitch through and through or is it just you she doesn't like?'

OP posts:
Report
southeastastra · 29/05/2008 22:14

i'm rubbish at flouncing i lasted a few hours last time

Report
Hassled · 29/05/2008 22:15

Can I use Powerpoint?

Report
NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 29/05/2008 22:15

i can't think of a good enough reason to flounce yet.
can someone be really rude to me so i can act all indignant and huffy.
i want to snort with flared nostrils.

Report
WilfSell · 29/05/2008 22:20

NIGELLA! Please submit your assessment. If you do not I shall have to fail you!

OP posts:
Report
southeastastra · 29/05/2008 22:20

maybe we should do a mass flounce for fun

Report
WilfSell · 29/05/2008 22:22

Hassled, I think Powerpoint is just the kind of fancy flouncy superfluous shite skill that will get you first class marks.

OP posts:
Report
BoysAreLikeDogs · 29/05/2008 22:25

Ya loons

Report
NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 29/05/2008 22:27

so in conclusion Wilfsell (2008) declares that she is indeed a bitch. In comparison Southeastastra and unknownrebelbang (2008)was unable to use this information to flounce in an acceptable manner. However in this assignmant I have found mumsnet to be nothing but a nest of vipers and it could be recommended if icod(2008) could do us all a favour and flounce away.

Nigella (2008) How to flounce. Vol 3 pp278-879

Report
NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 29/05/2008 22:29

a reflection on my essay.

my grammar left a lot to be desired but my harvard referencing was impeccable.

Report
WilfSell · 29/05/2008 22:29

At 8.30am everyday, students will stand up, rotate their shoulders and practice:

Nostrils in
Nostrils out
Nostrils in
Nostrils out

It is particularly important to observe the tutor's pursed lips with head turned 30 degrees exactly, otherwise you will not be working the correct muscle groups. Please remember to engage your pelvic floor and traversus while flaring.

OP posts:
Report
NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess · 29/05/2008 22:31

it is easier to pull in vaginal muscle and nose together. just tried the opposite and wet myself

Report
WilfSell · 29/05/2008 22:34

Students will wear the correct uniform at all times. Long skirts with lacey petticoats will be required, along with block heeled dance shoes fitted with metal heel tips. On flouncing, students are reminded that TWO quick stamps are required before the turn, not one, and that skirt hitching needs to show AT LEAST 15 inches of calf.

Any student found to be flouting these rules will be sent to New Look to change immediately.

OP posts:
Report
Janni · 29/05/2008 22:34

By the end of the first lesson one should also know that:

  • Non-flouncers enjoy calling out witty retorts including 'missing you already' and 'don't forget to close the door behind you'.


  • You will deregister, then lurk and mourn the loss of your cyberlife.


  • Finally, you will re-register under a new identity and let battle recommence!
Report
WilfSell · 29/05/2008 22:36

When flouncing, the flouncers anthem will be played over the public address system and ALL students will stand, sing along in good voice and practice kicking their neighbour firmly in the middle of the arse.

OP posts:
Report
Hassled · 29/05/2008 22:37

I think you've confused flouncing with auditioning for "I'd Do Anything". But that does provide me with the opportunity to incorporate pictures of cockney urchins in my PPT presentation, so thanks.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

southeastastra · 29/05/2008 22:39

i do think flouncing is a last attempt to escape from mumsnet, it never works though does it.

Report
QuintessentialShadows · 29/05/2008 22:44

I am a serial flouncer. I have learnt an importan lesson. I lose my self. And return in plural.

Report
WilfSell · 29/05/2008 22:58

When knocking on the door requesting a re-entry, bottom lips must be stuck out 3cm.

And all non-flounced students will recite the school motto, while throwing breadrolls at the deflouncer:

Nobody Loves Me
Everybody Hates Me
I'm Going Down the Garden to Eat Worms
But I reserve the right to sneak back in under a namechange

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.