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Mental health

Nightmares?

20 replies

fiodyl · 12/06/2008 01:13

Does anyone else have nightmares nearly every single night?
If you do are they alwayys the same or variations on the same theme?

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fiodyl · 12/06/2008 01:55

Looks like its just me then!

Or at least Im the only person on here who is being kept awake tonight because of them.

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UnderRated · 12/06/2008 02:01

I haven't had such frequent nightmares but I empathise. Have you talked to someone about it?

Are you ok?

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fiodyl · 12/06/2008 02:10

Yes Im ok, just tired but the thought of possibl having another is putting me off going back to sleep.

I need to find a way of keeping them out of my head, but that seems impossible atm.

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UnderRated · 12/06/2008 02:15

Yes, it's hard to go back to sleep when you were woken up, terrified. Can you do something to help you relax?

It sounds as though, if you are having the same ones repeatedly, that it is something you need some help with. But you probably know that. And it doesn't help you go back to sleep now. Sorry

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fiodyl · 12/06/2008 02:39

tbh i don't get that frightened by them anymore, i think ive just got used to them as they are much the same each time. They do wake me up in the night alot and I can relax and go back to sleep only to another one.

If I could go back in time and change the past so none of this ever happened, it would probably stop. But thats impossible and I really cant see any other way except carring on like this forever.

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stillfatbutlostabitnow · 12/06/2008 22:23

Hi have only just seen this. I get very regular nightmares (nearly every night), always about my DD and something horrible happening to her that I can't stop. I'm not asleep though. It happens when I'm trying to get to sleep, or I've woken up and I'm lying there awake again. It's like my brain says when I crossed the road with her today, it would have been awful if I hadn't looked properly and then before I can stop it, I'm visualising a car hitting her pushchair, or the window lock wasn't on propely on her bedroom window when in real life I know I did it. Or she opened the door and got out and I missed her going. I ALWAYS lock the front door now so she can't, but then I'm geting a kind of OCD about it during the day because I know at night I will be awake panicking that I didn't do it. The more tired I am the next day, the more I have to make sure I'm protecting her properly but I'll still lie awake with 'nightmares'. I've had them since our first night home from her being born and she's nearly 2. I look awful most days and I'm starting to think I'm going nuts!!!

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naswm · 12/06/2008 22:25

me too

flahsbacks or nightmares

I try to block it out with either booze or pills, but I dont recommend either., If you find a better way, do let me know

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stillfatbutlostabitnow · 12/06/2008 22:26

Sorry to offload all that, but I hate going to bed nowadays. Not sure DH quite understands why I have to stay up so late. Think he's worried I'm avoiding him. But if I stay up till I'm feeling sick cos I'm so tired then just maybe I'll go straight off and stay asleep!!! Hope we all sleep ok tonight!! Report back later!

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stillfatbutlostabitnow · 12/06/2008 22:30

Hi there naswm (what does that stand for by the way?) yes it's same with me. My health visitor has been visiting me with all this for a little while. She advised trying nytol as it works for her. Got some but took some at 10p.m other night( take 1hr before bed - what a joke, and no alcohol) and was still awake at 1.30a.m. tried again next night but same.

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fiodyl · 13/06/2008 12:47

sorry to hear that you are also experiencing this, but in a way Im glad Im not the only one.
I have 3 different types of nightmares

1 is an exact re-enactment of when my DD was taken away, except in the dreams I am watching it happen as if Im somone else- I can see myself as if outside my body, but I am powerless to do anything except watch it all hapen again. When I wake from these I spend most of the rest of the night crying like it has only just happened. I sometimes get these during the day too, although its not as bad.

2 someone or something is coming to get my DC. I know they are coming and Im trying to escape with DC to somewhere safe so they can't get them. Ususlly I wake up b4 anyone does come, but when I do wake for a while Im unsure it was a dream, sometimes thinking I can hear ppl trying to get in the house. I have to check doors are locked and wedge the stairgate under the front door so no one can get in if they pick the locks. I also look out the windows to check for strange ppl/cars waiting to come and get the DC.

3 is when the C have already been taken or I discover they are gone from where I left them. I start searching for them and trying to find where they have gone. Sometimes I know where they are in the dreams but I have a lot of trouble gettng to them, getting lost or things getting in my way.
These are the worst dream cos when I wake up Im in a panic thinking that they really have gone- I have to go into their room and check they are still there and again check windows and doors.

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fiodyl · 13/06/2008 12:54

IME nytol and other herbal/over the counter stuff doesnt affect sleep at all. Drinking alcohol does help me get to sleep quicker but doesnt completely get rid of the dreams.

I havent taken sleping pills for years and don't relly want to as when I was on them years ago I ended up quite addicted to them, to the point where if I didnt have any I wouldnt sleep for 2-3 days at a time.

When I described these nightmares to the doctor he put me on Risperidone which did work for about a week but then theyy came back. He increased the dose but again after a week they were back so I stopped taking them.

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stillfatbutlostabitnow · 13/06/2008 13:21

Hi Fiodyl.
i know what you mean that you're glad someone else suffers too! stops you feeling like a nutter!!

It's just so horrible. Once I'm asleep it usually stays that way. most of the time i can't get to sleep cos i'm having nightmares (but i'm awake!!) and my brain won't switch off, or if ive woken up and can't get back to sleep they happen then too. i know i'm awake. i'm sitting up and having a drink of water and can watch DH sleep.

What was your birth experience like?

I had a emergency section and my movement was severly restricted for a while as you would expect. also had reaction to dressings and had blisters on the scar,etc and i couldn't sit up in bed for ages. when DD woke up at night, DH had to see to her and i felt really useless and i knew i couldn't do anything about it. I felt i couldn't look after her like i wanted and felt really overprotective even though he was doing it all right and it made me panic a lot.

my health visitor thinks i've got/had PND, along with possibly post tramatic stress disorder giving me the anxiety and sleep problems. sometimes the night terrors scare me so much i don't want to go out in day with DD incase whatever the nightmare was happens

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fiodyl · 13/06/2008 14:52

DDs birth was an EMCS too after a 40hour failed induction.Epidural failed too so I was put to sleep.DD was in SCBU for 5 days afterwards.

I know didnt have PND after as Ive had depression in the past, but possibly some PTSD although Id never heard of it at the time. Unfortunatly my history of depression andmy denial of the incorrect dx of PND were used by SS to take my DD away from me at 9 weeks6days old.

DSs birth was alot better, a VBAC with ventouse delivery, but again we were separated shortly after the birth when I was taken to theatre to be stitched up. I was very anxious as I had a spinal block so couldnt move and kept worrying that SS were going to come and take him away too while I was there.

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glowwormish · 15/06/2008 20:50

fiodyl, have you had counselling for your trauma of seperation? Sorry sounds really simple but it seems obivous that your nightmares are a direct result of your traumtic seperation and that you need to find some kind of peace.

I can't imagine how it must feel to be seperated. I often have awful thoughts of this or like the other poster, that dc's are knocked over. It makes me feel phsically sick sometimes and I wonder if I'm not a bit obsessed. I do think these thoughts are worst when I'm feeling bad.

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naswm · 16/06/2008 12:24

how are things now?
naswm (Not a strong woman me)

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stillfatbutlostabitnow · 21/06/2008 21:23

hi fiodyl. I agree with glowwormish. It seems obvious to an outsider that you had such a traumatic seperation that it has affected you so badly. It must have been horrifying for you. Even worse to be scared of ss taking your 2nd baby too. It sounds like you do need to speak to someone about it. Don't be put off in pursuing it, and don't take it lying down if the 1st person who is meant to help turns out to be useless. Just keep going until you find someone who understands and can help you talk it through.

glowowormish - my thoughts are worse when i feel bad too. but even if i feel ok, i don't dare go to sleep a bit earlier incase i just lie awake for longer thinking horrible thoughts. my health visitor had suggested nytol to help me get to sleep and dh got the herbal one. didn't realise she meant the one that makes you drowsy, so i have got that one now. will try as soon as i dare to stop having nearly 1/2 bottle win before bed to knock me out.

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StarSparkle · 21/06/2008 22:46

Hey all ! I have had nightmares every nite since i was around 5 yrs old. (now 28). I still remeber an awlful nightmare i had which was a reacurring one when i was 5/6 yrs old. I don't want to talk about it. I have scary dreams every nite without fail....however i don't wake up screaming or anything but some times the feeling from the nightmare stays with me for a few hours after i wake up ! Best wishes too all on this thread

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Elasticwoman · 22/06/2008 21:39

Sorry to hear about your nightmares Starsparkle. Do they affect your state of mind during the day? I occasionally have nightmares but once I've woken up properly they don't bother me and I forget about them. Is it any different if you always have them?

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StarSparkle · 22/06/2008 22:47

Hi Elasticwoman, i always have nightmares everynite - dont know why. The really bad ones i have stay with me for a few hours after i wake up ! I always remember them each morning after i wake up. I have remember all my dreams since i was around 5 yrs old ! Perhaps i'm a nutter !!! Or perhaps my minds trying to tell me something??!! Hop[e u r doing ok xx

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fiodyl · 23/06/2008 10:31

Hi all thanks for your replies. I know I really need to do something about this and other things that are affecting my life problem is I just don't know what or how to do it.

I really fel like I ned someone to sort it all out for me, but thats never gonna happen cos I can't tell anyone about it except on here. When I have in the past, I just get told 'its in the pastand I should just move on.' Much as Id like to I CAN'T.