This has been going on for the past year or so, she has a neighbour who when he first moved in, was noisy, keeping her up at night etc and driving her up the wall.
Nwow he is quiet, but she has came COMPLETELY obsessed with him.
Her whole life is about him.
The most extreme example I can give you is one day in her garden , she was pottering, and the neighbour shut his window and left his flat, and in her head he had been watching her, was irritated her so she followed him in her car with intention of running him over.
Now all he had ACTUALLY done was shut his window and left his flat, the rest was imaginary, in her head.
She has just popped by my house, she couldnt ring me because he would hear...shes been racking in his bins.
Ive just rang her best mate, and I said asd long as she doesnt run his over or go to his door and its all in her head its ok.
She said its too late, she went up to his door and tryed to kick it in.
My brother has paranoid schizophrenia. Even when hes ranting saying hes going to kill people they dont section him.
How can I make mum see the irrationalness of all of this?
Hes quiet....because hes listening to her. ARGH
Its not him, its her.

Have you told her she's being paranoid?
What was her reaction?

Can you speak with her GP? . It sounds like she is expereincing some paranoid delusions ( and as such will not be able to respond to your objective challenges) . What age is she ?

God, poor her and poor you.Does she in anyway recognise her fears are irrational? This obsession, apart from upsetting for her and those around her, obviously has the potential to get very serious. Can you go and see her GP, on your own or with her? Can she stay with you or relative for a bit to get her out of the situation and hopefully give her space to realise how out of hand it's got?

Months ago, I was worried she was going to go to a meeting with housing assocation workers to complain about him and make a fool of herself..so i said, right you re going to go to this meeting and they are going to ask you HOW he knows you are going to the bathroom, How he knows you are going to bed(because she says he follows her round her flat, hes above shes below) I said You can hear him, because his foot steps are above, but he DOES NOT know you are moving.
Yes he fucking does she said I said Tell me how...I stood up, visualising the silent standing up so she would maybe SEE where my logic was coming from...so she stopped ranting on about him to me.
Pretended, to me it was all ok.
Meanwhile her best mate and her sister get it all.

She doesnt recogise she being irrational and got really sannoyed with me for challenging her last time.
Everything she does, turning the newspaper page, hes listening. Doing the gardening, he watching. Its a fucking nightmare
If you ring her the call is scattered with Shhhhhh and hes right above me, and then she switches her telly up so you cant hear her, but shes not listening anyway.

Oh shes 59

she needs to get some help. Can you talk with her GP? Could you persuade her best friend to take her along (she may not listen to her children on this one).

Sympathies: have been there with a parent and it's scary and hard

if she's delusional she won't recognise that she is (all part of the problem) so you're going to need some external help here.

The thing is, she doesnt think there is anything wrong.
Its all him, not her.
In reality its her, NOTHING to do with him at all.
I did ring the gp and missed him ringing back once.
Talking about it makes me sound as nuts as her.
Unless she approaches him, and she wont with me or her best mate, what can they do?

ringing doc now actually. gotta do something.

she needs to get some professional help - it isn;t about her going round and kicking his door in, it's about her being delusional. Do you have a local mental health team? Or a social worker?

it is obv affecting her quality of life, which is at least as important as inconveniencing her neighbour

I would

1. Speak to GP
2. Ask him/her to see your mum and request assessment with the local Community mental health team.

She is unlikely to change her views on what's happening - as to her it appears very real.

In some areas, 'Mind' and other mental health organisations have housing support workers who can support people with these sorts of issues maintain their tenancies. Might be worth checking out too.

Good luck - it is a shitty situation to be in

hes ringing back at 5.45

Well done charlie.

It is her life. Fuckety arse, I feel like my heads going to explode.
Huff Puff, BREATHE.
I think the doctor has gave her sleeping pills.
Not sure if she takes them.
Heavy shit.
Thanks for listening.

if you want to get some more info before then, MIND helpline: 020 8519 2122

SORRY infoline is 0845 766 0163

(the other number is for head office)

poor mum

the troubloe with living on your own is you get too much time to think

she is playing stuff out in her head

she needs to get things back in perspective with talking to someone

and she needs something else to stop her living in her thoughts all day

thank you. We have been here before with my brother, he tends to be groups of men chasing him, dusting the whole house with talc so he can see finger prints of the people watching him etc...
This has became scary with a RL innocent person at the brunt of it, and because my brother is fixed on non existtn things its easy to seperate from reality. My mum completely wangles a bit of reality, the bloke runing at tap.....round an hour of delusions, I did this, so he did that bla bla...oh

Yes I said she needs distracting. its gone way further than that though. Everything is, i went ot the co-op to get away from him, not...i went to the co-op to get milk IYKWIM

oh yes i can see she has lost touch with reality which is serious

i wasnt suggesting that doiung a crossword with her would sort it

problems with reality and what is inside yiur head are not easily addressed

No they arent. Weep. A little touch on reality would be GREAT it this instance, we could build on it.

Charliecat be prepared for the GP taking the "I can't discuss a patient confidentiality etc " bollocks.

I had this with a dear friend of mine. We have a mutual Gp so I asked for a phone consultation. When she rang back I started by saying I knew she couldn't discuss the said friend Bc of the confidentiality thing but that I was worried & could I just share some concerns with her?

"Riiiiiight " she said cautiously.

I described my friends irrational behaviour (long story) & just said that a few of her mates were concerned & could I just leave the info with her. She thanked me & and said "actually that could be useful with other stuff that we know" and left it at that. She got help & is a much calmer person now

Good luck- awful situation to be in.

Hmmm, now I said i would ring her best mate back when Id spoken to her.
I am thinking of not saying I have rung the doctor, not sure why? Because she is my mums mate and her loyalty is whith her and we will all feel guilty grassing her up, even though its for the best,so If its just me then....well i can take the guilt myself.
And then...well. Dunno. Argh, must go tidy house.

When you are being irrational you just can't see it. That is part of the problem. I hope you get some help from the GP, don't let it lie.

my mum was paranoid - no one helped becusa she didn't want the help. i phoned the GP, i phoned social services, i phoned age concern - i even phoned the priest to ask if he would pop round.

i hate to say it but i will be amazed if you get much help from anywhere - but then all regions are different.
sorry to be the voice of doom

maybe you could simply encourage her to move?

Oh crossed posts....yes i dont want him to tell me anything about her. I would just like him to have my , more logical view about the neighbour.
And then the next time she goes is saying he is driving her mad, he will HOPEFULLY pick apart her delusions and see that actually, the neighbour hasnt done anything at all noisy or antisocial, its all in mums head.
Shes very belivable because to her it 100% real.

You come higher than your mums mate so don't tell her you have rung the doc if it will cause a problem. Your mum won't see that you are trying to help.

We all got the forms for her to move. And with her being an adult im not sure if she hnded them in or not.
I know what the mental services are like. My brother is ill.Even when hes completely OFF his rocker, walking the streets saying to people, Move Out the Way Baby Fucker they do nothing. And thats really quite dangerous because in his head these people are peadophiles(sp???) and hes Mad, you know.
So I will be shocked if anything happens, but at least the doctor will listen to her with an awared mind IYKWIM, I realise that not correct english but YKWIM/.
How bad was your mum custardo?

Exactly Charlie cat it will help the GP to piece together a jigsaw & possibly confirm concerns already raised by others/himself.

moving wont make any difference

she will focus on something else

and yes it is shockingly difficult to get help

and to get anyone to listen even when it is you going mad

you can write to her gp

i believe my exh did that when he was my h

it probably paled into insignificance in the context of the short stream of consciousness novella i sent my gp tho

long novella lol

you dont think it could be early dementia?

has she had mental health issues herself before

Zippi!!
I did write, 3 pages, both sides. Was scary reading. Bottled out of sending it.
I realise the chances of actually getting some help are zero, but I feel I need to lighten this load.
And the GP may slip her some anti-madness pills lol, with her parcetamol..well heres hoping
I have a mate who went to the docs, after YEARS of not going, because she was depressed, and they told them to come back in a month if they felt the same. FFS. <shakes head, goes off muttering again>

I used to call the GP to prewarn if one of my relatives happened to be going through a particularly impressive paranoid delusion phase.

Tbh, I think most GPs are pretty canny at spotting this sort of behaviour but it never hurts to forewarn that you think there may be an issue. I was always thanked for calling (!).

Erm, its delusional and paranoia. No issues before.

I meant for you to forewarn the GP iyswim.

It really WOULD help if she had a little grip on reality. Really you know we could build on that.
But any conversation that goes in that direction is dismissed and she WILL NOT have it.

sorry wasn't clear. I meant it's a GOOD thing that you have called the GP and it always seems to help to do so.

Yep, Im not sure if he has any idea. He wrote to the housing association for her you see. Because of her dreadful neighbour. WHICH HE INITILLY WAS. Up all night, really noisy etc, but hes not now. He sleeps normal hours, doesnt distrub her etc, and NOW she sayd hes quiet because hes listening to her.

when i was realy ill and i wont describe it here tho i think i may have before i eventually sat with the gp (post novella) and said could i spend the day with him as i was too scared to leave

i suggested i could just sit quietly in his consulting room just to be near him

i had already the same day made the reseptionist let me see him

and i had already driven twice to cheltenham and back very fast because i couldnt keep still

i hant slept for weeks

the gp let me go in a side room while he sorted stuff out

then he said can you go home and stay there until a psychitrist comes

i was in hospital by mid afternoon

but

it was fucking hard work to get there

i had been seriously ill for 4 months

hi
it really does sound like she's having paranoid delusions

these can be because of many reasons - yes schizophrenia, but also certain types of dementia, or a chemical imbalance or other physical illnesses

it must be horrible for her (and you) as she thinks its real...she must be terrifed of him

to be honest i would ring the gP back and get to sepak to him before 545

from experience (am a gp) dealing with situations like this takes time, and at 545 friday afternoon all mental health services have gone home for the weekend and its vert difficult to do an assessment.

i would call now and ask them to visit your mum (you could go too if poss)
if you have problems with the receoption staff just explain, or demand to sepak to doc

if you explain to doc whats happening and that you think she having paranoid delusions i would be very surprised if he/she wasn't very halpeful and concerned.
she does need to be assessed as shes not well and could be a risk to herself

good luck!!!

So basically you made yourself his problem and wouldnt leave and got help tht way
Fark.



Ive just realised my mum has always been a tea totaller, is that a word?
Never drunk.
She is now makig home brews
And talks of gin.
Will mention that to GP too.
Self medication I reckon.

charliecat - my mum has been the same over the last year or so. She is convinced my dad is having an affair with the man across the road. She was watching my Dad constantly and accusing him of all sorts.

Paranoia can be a symptom of Parkinsons.

My Mum was on ADs and was over dosing on them - they made her sleepy so she was taking an extra one if she woke up to early. Ended up with her having a stroke 2 months ago. And we didn't realise what it was for 24 hours as we were focusing on the effects of the ADs. I went to her doctor and he also thought it was the ADs but in the midst of talking to him (and he was sort of helpful) we figured out that she was not being honest with us about what he was telling her and vice versa.

Anyway - she ended up in hosp for 3 weeks and the docs did say that the paranoia could have been part of the build up of the stroke.

It is def worth writing down all the info about your mum that you can think of so you are prepared when you speak to the doc.

My mum is now home again and apart from speech problems is much better but still suspicious where my Dad is concerned. Haven't spoken to him on his own recently so not sure how she is now.

Good luck - it really is a worry.

Hi luvaduck, another few hours or days wont matter, really, this has been going on for months. I also dont want a team rushing round there really. And unless she is frothing at the mouth saying shes going to kill him (and actually even if she was) they wont actully do anything with her.

i really think the GP will lsiten and take action so you will get help

if not you need to ask for a 2nd opinion the same day
i would be very angry if this was dismissed by a gp

Parkinsons. God Erm she has underactive thyroid. Can that have an effect on your thyroid. I think its underactive the one that makes you thin.

on your MIND not your thyroid. I dont think it will be dismissed luvaduck, it will be noted and ...thats about it. Even when my brother IS sectioned for 28 days. Hes out on day 2.

My late mum was schizophrenic and my ds also.
I know the fear are helplessness around a loved one when they are having an episode is dreadful. I think contacting the gp is a good idea but to also say to really try and mind yourself in all of this too. Easier said than done I know when if like me you sometimes felt you wold go out of your own mind with worry.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that as much as you can help your mum you need to mind you too. I really hope things improve for you.
x

i know BUT he won't be able to do anything at 545 whereas if you called now she could be assessed this afternoon, calmly. after 5 there are only emergemcy services and it will be more of a palaver for the Gp but also for your mum.

honestly he will thank you if you call now rather than sort it out at 545 (have has this situation many times and always wishe they had called earlier in the day)

i know it has been going on for months but these situations can change quickly, and sometimes you cabn't predict what is going to tip her over the edge

chances are the weekend will be the same as last, and it can wait till monday but please call now...surely its not going to do any harm....

they will do something with her - they will perform a risk assessment which you or she can't do and is vital

honestly if i was her GP i would much prefer to know now rather than after 5

i think luvaduck sounds an excellent gp

nobody actually noticed i was partuclarly un well

but then i do a good line in appearing to be well

and yes alcohol will have a weirdy affect

strange to start on home brew does she make it?

she does sound like she is behaving oddly

you need to put all this info together as it is serious

the sum of the parts will make a lot greater impact

this is how i am being referred gp thought you are fine then i told him a few other things andhe sort of changed his tune to a i shall write for a psychiatric appointment

i am waiting for one now, which is taking weeks but then i am not psychotic or delsuional

your mum sounds like she has flipped however

she must be shit scared

Just try to have as much info about your Mum to hand as you can. Esp about her state of mind.

No-one can know what it is - I would hope that the doc would want to see her to do a full check-up.

my mum thought she heard voices, regularly spoke to herself in vicious argument type whispers. everyone had an ulteriour motive. she particularly thought that unnamed people or organisations were keeping tabs on her via something like radio waves.

eventually one day when my twins were little she walked to my house and just sobbed - i thought she was going to tell me she had cancer - instead she told us that there were people listening to her through the walls.

DH bless him, went and stayed at her house - and bless him again - apart from the odd pointed look in my direction - never mentioned it again.

it turned out she had undiagnosed tinitus - along with a predisposition i imagine to paranoia - she translated the noise she heard into people listening to her with radio waves - that didn't reach her when she was in the town centre ( becuase there was a lot of noise to mask it you see!!

yes thyroid problems can cause mental health problems - usually its overactive but she could be on the wrong dose of her throid meds making her falsely overactive and this can def casue these symptoms

(if its the one that makes her thin ten its overactive anyway)

mention this to GP as well in case he doesn't have it clerly in the notes or deson't make the connection

the hardest thing was other people saw her as eccentric

only dh & i knew my mum was a loon. when social services came to visit her to do an assessment - as long as she could look after herself there was nothing further they could do

if ypou havethoughts in your head you cant get rid of then alcohol helps

so does moving

is she agitated and going out a lot or from room to room?

it wont do any harm to see what you can do anyway

Custy It's a fu*kin cruel illness.

Please contact your mother's GP.

Overactive thyroid aka thyrotoxicosis makes you thin and can affect your mental health significantly although really you should get in touch with them anyway.

I contacted my mum's GP when I had concerns about her mental health, did the same as bosdsybritches wiuth her friend, rang and said "Look I know that you can't tell me anything but I need to tell you x, y, z because I think that she's hiding things from you". It was very helpful. please do it.

I may regret this but im not ringing again eeek sorry. I am going to see her this afternoon. And then talking to him later.
If she hasnt of popped in this am, if I hadnt of rung her mate this would have be any other friday morning.....
Zippi, because you are already in the system dont you get a quicker appointment God
Shes not scared, I dont think, because it all real to her.
The brew is berrys and ???? dunno.

oh thanks zippi!

(i agree there are some shit ones out there...if i had my way i would sack um...but presented with these set of symptoms if a doc didn't act they are not competent)

She doesnt sit down. Sometimes she looks rough as shit, other times realy good. Not sure what thts dependant on.
Jeesus custardo

im not in the system

Not literally, I mean you have been to the docs before about it, saw people? Does that not mean you get saw sooner than someone who hasnt?

if i were you i would do this

call gp back and say
i think my mum is having paranoid delusions and i thought you would like to know about it now rather than wait until our phone appt after 5

oh and she has thryoid problems could this be relevant

and then say exactly what you have done here (write iy down before?)

sorry for sounding bossy

must go now but good luck

she will get well again

does she listen to music or anything

if she needs to be on the move then that is a symptom too

does she talk a lot?

Oh luvduck you are right, and I probably should. Doc has surgery this afternoon and will be busy..frowning to myself at making up excuses for him...
If I hadnt saw the state of my brother and the lack of jumping to help him, I would, but I know what they dont do. Thank You though.

forgot to add - communication with her impossible

the radio waves down the phone listening to her you see.

she wouldnt have a telly - same reason.

well no i am not even in the system that much

i am just a regular punter

hopefully it could just be that her mediaction for her thyroid is messing her up

think what a difference it could make if it was that and it got adjusted

but also it could be loads of things and perhaps solved quite easilyu?

we wish anyway

Shes not particularly manic ( I am!) shes on the go all the time tho. its ME who cant be dealing with life without music on to distract my thoughts..ARghh....worry about that later
God she has NO idea that im about to completelty fuck up her life has she.

you're not you wil make ity loads better
in a few motnhs she will thank you

i know how you feel with your brother too

exdps brother has schizophrneia and we spent 8 nyears trying to get him the help he needed during which time he was imprisoned rather than hepled ...and then a long spell in secure psychitric..its very hard all this stuff

you go round in circles

well i would be more than slightly put out if my dd1 started contacting my gp

but she doesnt have to

thats the difference

If mum had the slightest idea that was out of the range of normality, if she could be persuauded just for moment that she was being an ICKLE bit irrational I would leave her to it, but theres nothing there to grasp to al all. She is NEVER going to go to the docs with this problem because she doesnt know she has one.
My brother, apart from at the height of a delusion, knows he is ill. Knows hes not wuite thinking straight, is aware that hes not on the same wavelenght as others. And its easier to deal with.
Mums on a different planet.

well i think that is the crux she isnt going to help herself by the sounds of it

and from what you say she does need help

it might not require a lot but it definitely needs something

yes. Will report back, am going to mke list before I ring.

God my typing, and my thinking is all over the place, before he rings.

It's so hard. I've written 3 letters to my mums GP that i've never sent. Eventually she hit rock bottom and saw the GP herself and is now on medication which is helping. I discussed it with my own GP who told me they are always greatful for background information. If you don't want her to know that you have called them then they will not tell her, but likewise cannot contact her only wait for her to attend herself.
The sensible thing is speak to the GP and give them permission to contact your mum and tell her that you have called with concerns.
But it's hard to be the one that makes the call.
Good luck charliecat.
(friends of mine once had a lodger who dusted his room with talc, they never found out why, is that a common action of people with paranoia?)

CC you are not about to completely fuck up her life, you are trying to help her.

I rang my neighbours gp recently as she is bi polar and was quite clearly not well again, and no memeber of her family was doing anything about it.

I wanted to get her some help so that she might not need to be sectioned again. I rang her doctors surgery and they were fantastic, and as a result, she was seen by several people within hours and her medication adjusted. She wasn't sectioned.

I think her family guessed that it was me, and I don't think they were impressed that I got invloved, but I am glad i did now.

i think if you speak to the gp and say she wont come in tho how can you get her sen the gp may have ideas

or you could just be very assertive with her and make her go

the gp could maybe ring her and say they would like her to come in re her mediaction for thyroid

tho that is maybe against ethics tho i guess if it could be affecting her i dont see why not

nutty you are very good

Ta Zippi

CC - In my case because |I wasn't family, all they did was take neighbours details and then her gp rang her and asked to speak to her. My neighbour was very verbally abusive to him over the phone and so he knew she was not right and did a home visit. That then got the ball rolling and other professionals got involved.

In your position i'd ring gp and explain your concerns and that you'd like someone to at least ring her, preferably visit her.

She doesn't need to know it was you who rung, and I am sure if you told the gp that, he wouldn't mention it.

It can work if family get involved. We've had several episodes with my mum who got to the stage (mania) of having ot be admitted to hospital (not sleeping, hearing voices etc.). My dad got her to the gp each time - she had no idea anything was wrong. First, she recovered each time (episodes years apart) and second she NOW will take herself to the docs if there's a problem and say I need help, could you sort out my meds. This is a massive step for us and she's been out of hospital now for over 12 years

So getting her into the system is not a bad thing.

Not sure if its common, my brother has killed many a tv/laptop/dvd player with talc though.
Its so he can see finger prints of the people, ya see
Well Done Nutty. I wonder if my mums neighbour has rang anyone concerning my mum, I know the police were involved with the door kicking episode.
Mum didnt tell em about it though, her mate did. So I cant mention a lot of the things I know because then she will know her mate is passing them onto me.

Short of banging my mum over the head and bundling her into the car in a sack I know I couldnt get mums to the gp about this.
Really, as far as she is concerned there isnt an issue

but charlie the gp wont reveal what he knows to your mum

i know my then h wrote to my gp but i dont have much idea what he wrote

( a load of twaddle i suspect)

well best bet is for gp to ring her which if she is taking medicationb is plausoble

or you just tell your mum that you have spoken to the gp

oh fuckety arse, she has just rang me. She wants ME to look in his bin on the way to her house.
She wants to see if hes doing schizophrenic writings, like my bro. I said Hold On a minute, Just Imagine for second he was looking through your bins...HUGE HUGE HUGE big silence.
Then "Id be livid".
Yes exactly I said, Well I wanna know what im dealing with...
I said why what is he doing?
I dont wanna get into it.
Why dont you wanna get into it?
Because I dont want it at the forefront of my mind.
I said but it already is.
She said never mind.
And changed the subject.
She rang me from her mobile.
Its at thins point I think maybe she fucking KNOWS he not doing anything? GOD.
If shes so convinced why is she no longer trying to convince me of how mad he is?
Oh she thinks hes mad by the way.

I also said and if he is writing stuff what is you knowing going to achieve? How is it going to help?

The thing is that it is all real to her. You won't convince her that it isn't.

you need to talk to her

dont let her change the subject

cry if necessary

i suspect she will crack and you will get her to the gp

she has asked for your help by ringing you

ok she has asked you to look in his bin

but

she is acknowledging that something is going on that isnt right

but she needs some help to understand what is going on that isnt right

could you suggest that she goes to see her GP to see what she can do about the 'mad' neighbour.
then you speak to the GP to forewarn him of the situation?

or in a similar vein

mum i can see that you are getting ditressed about neoighbour i think you should go to the gp and see if he canprescribe something to help you cope

tho i am less keen on that myself as if i was her i would say im not taking any medication

Oh Oh Oh, I Like that zippi, tht sounds GOOD. I can feel myself wanting to shake her.
I am going to go to hers NOW. And have a couple of hours before I pick up the kids. Need to get her out the house. She wont talk to me in her house because hes listening.

good luck charlie

ifeel she may be able to be worked upon if you persevere you are going to nail her before the end of the afternoon

Good luck

good luck charlie will check in on this later

telling her you are seeing gp about thyroid meds is a great idea

you could just turn up at gp - tell her gp wants to see her about meds and make emergency appt and explain to receptionist beforehand so she can warn GP?

Well, that went well I got her out the house by saying come do recycling with me.
She didnt take any of it well. None of it. She still couldnt explin why he knows where she is in the house, why she was justified in going to run him over after he shut his window.
She said she wanted to kill herself last time we spoke(and i dont know when this was) because she could tell I didnt believe her.
Parting sentence was Her saying I will fucking run him over.

Oh this was screamed and shouted across a car park near her house.

oh fuck

so much for that advice

well she is clearly not well

did you speak to the gp

will do.

in all honesty, when it's reached that stage, I find it easier not to disagree. You don't have to actively agree but if you can umm and ahh and talk about the weather or a spider or a cobweb or something in the newspaper because you need to focus on YOURSELF not feeling shit too and you may not be able to distract her but at least you will distract yourself from the madness.

You've done well calling the GP. It might be worth asking for a home visit if you feel she won't go in but good luck whatever happens.

hope it goes ok cc

oh dear . I hope the GP is helpful.

Hmm, I have put a note through her door saying I dont not want to argue with her, or fall out with her but she isnt thnking straight and theres only me around to try and rationalise with her. That if I was going round trying to kick in peoples door what would she be saying to me?
She left me a voice mail saying she would get back to me via note through the week.
I have just remembered why I wrote to the doctor, but didnt send last time. My big huge hulk of a brother was in her front room crying his eyes out having a mini nervous break down........and my was playing LOUDLY a tape recording of her neighbour being noisy saying Listen Listen Can you hear that...bla bla, meanwhile my brother was falling apart and she was completely oblivious
The neighbour was quiet, so she was playing him on tape??!!

Er, we cant force the issue. Fuck me.

I have just had a 3 minute conversation with her doctor. We cant force the issue. I cant do anything unless she comes to me.
If she does do anything to herself or him then it (what?) will be forced upon her.
Useless.
Seriously. Fucking Useless.

Oh God. Not helpful.

that is useless

i assume your mum lives by herself?

yes she does

Bloody hell, that's just awful. Well what do you do when someone is too ill to be able to help themselves for heaven's sake? There must be a protocol for dealing with these things, like when someone has dementia and needs someone to step in for them?

you could investigate the community mnental health team

but i expect you know that these things are not easy

i think it must depend where you live

all you can do is try and keep communications going with your mum i supose

gp sounds useless probably anxious to go home too

Sorry, just to clarify that last post was meant in a general (and frustrated on your behalf) sense - I wasn't asking you charliecat why you don't know what other options there are. I can't imagine where to go for help if GP refused to - perhaps Luvaduck can advise if she's still around?

Is there a duty GP in your area for out of hours?

She sounds very unwell Charlicat.