over 2 years since the birth of DS, is it still PND??

[SirDigbyChickenCaesar]

I had (what i thought was) PND after the birth of DS. Went to teh GP was put on ADs (seroxat 20mg). went for CBT but the psych nurse was useless and made me feel worse. stayed on the ADs for over a year but felt so much better i weaned myself off them. now 2 years sicne i first was 'diagnosed' i feel worse then ever.
we're havng financail problems. DH and I are getting on ok but not great. (mostly because of the financial issues)
i feel like such a useless mom. Ds deserves better than a mother who cries and is angry all the time. I wonder if he and DH would be better off without me. (i wouldn't do anything stupid but the thought is there)
is it a blip? shoudl i just give in and go back on the ADs?

[ditavonteesed]

I don't think going on ADs is giving in. If they make you a happier person then why not? I don't however know if they would help or not, hopefully someone more wise will comne and say useful stuff in a minute, if not could you just have a chat with the gp and see what they think. I don't think they force AD's on you if they can help another way.
Also you are not a useless mum and your ds does not deserve better, you love him and if you have the occasional shouty moment he wont remember.

[iwouldgoouttonight]

I'm not sure how long PND can last for but if you are feeling depressed maybe you should consider taking ADs again. It is not giving in! If you had another illness you would take medication to control it and depression is the same. If they made you feel much better last time you took them then they might help again, even if its just to get you feeling a bit more together so you can start dealing with the other issues.

I know how you feel about useless counsellors! I saw one through my GP and I didn't get anything out of it, and she could only see me about once a month so it didn't really help. But if you push them to see another counsellor you might find you get on better with another one. Maybe CBT isn't the best thing for you - it takes a lot of hard work and sometimes feels as though you aren't getting anywhere, and it doesn't work for everyone.

You are NOT a useless mum! I think everyone feels a bit useless at some point, being a mother is such a difficult job! My DS is 2 this year and can be hard work too!

When I was feeling depressed and as though I wasn't coping I found it helped just to talk - talk to your DH, to the doctor, HV, friends, family, on here, whoever you feel most comfortable with. It helps to get it out. Take care.

[snotbuster]

I think (from limited experience) that CBT can be a bit harsh when you feel really down. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and be sympathetic! However it is very fashionable in the NHS now as is thought to be very cost effective. Try looking for some low cost private psychotherapy - in some areas there are even free services if you're on a tight budget.
Are you a SAHM? Getting much support? I think the hard-slog and isolation of raising small children can be enough to make anyone feel depressed. Maybe part-time work or doing something for you would help? (Wildly speculating as don't know you're circumstances!).
I'm sure your DS loves you dearly and that you are a good mum. Hope things improve for you soon.