I have barely talked to anyone all day

[fluffycauliflower]

Does anyone have days like this? My husband often works late, so if I don't see anyone during the day, I sometimes go a whole day without really talking to anyone. I have talked to the walls before. I find the evenings very lonely. I really hate this. I often haven't the energy to go out myself - though I do go out sometimes. The loneliness is driving me insane.

[mousehole]

fluffy - I remeber days like that when the dcs were v young and my dh was away for a while. Have you tried toddler groups or babygroups etc - they're a great way to meet people..

[StressTeddy]

oh darling. You sound very low. Are you at home with children? Some days can be soooo monotonous and feel like groundhog day can't they?

[ThingOne]

Make your self go out. Go out and buy a paper even if you have no intention of reading it. Force yourself to chat to miserable old git in paper shop. Wait at the bus stop with the old ladies and chat to them about the shocking cold/lovely sun. And how the Council really should/shouldn't/hasn't do/done whatever. They need people to talk to as well.

Can you tell I've been in your shoes?

[wrinklytum]

Most of my days are like this with dp in hospital.Yesterday the only adult i talked to was the Betterware catalogue bloke!!!Sad or what.Mind you ds can talk for England!!Thank god for mumsnet,oh and radio 4,I often talk to the radio!!(Wrinkly waits for men in white coats to cart her off.)LOL re walls,makes me think of Shirley Valentine.Chat away FC,though don't expect scintillating intellectual debate from me I am too knackered and thick

[fluffycauliflower]

Thanks for your messages. the days are okay. It's the evenings.

[StressTeddy]

do you go out in the day fc? Can you invite friends over for a glass of wine (or cup of tea) after dc's have gone to bed?

[BirdyArms]

Repeat advice to go to toddler groups etc - even if you don't feel like it. Maybe something that you have to pay for by the term because a) if you've already paid it encourages you to go and b) same people there every week so more chance of making friends.

The groups we normally go to aren't on because of school hols so went to a leisure centre on our own today. DS1 (3.0) said to me 'poor mummy, you haven't got anyone to talk to have you, never mind, you can talk to daddy when he gets home.' Was very surprised that he noticed/cared. DH is out tonight so I haven't had any adult interaction today, it's OK sometimes but every day would really get me down.

[peanutbear]

I was like this stuck at home with 3 children I used to spend hours on the phone just so I had talked to someone

I volunteered to be a bf counsellor and went on to more training as it helped me make friends

Then I moved so now back in the same boat mumsnet keeps me sane actually lol

[anorak]

Hi. I moved to Bermuda with my husband's job in Nov and was immediately diagnosed with cancer. So I've been too ill to go out and make any new friends and I often spend 60 hours a week on my own. And when my husband gets home he's tired and of course there's a limit to the same old conversations with him. It does get you down.

I find msn is great, I chat to my friends on there when I am low, and I can keep up with all my friends and relatives wherever they are, what's more, it's free. I compose long emails too - it's the only way if you want to receive them. And of course mumsnet is great for chatting.

[StressTeddy]

anorak - so sorry to hear this. love to you

[anorak]

Thank you ST, not to worry by the way, I have had an op and am now on chemo and should be fine

[clutteredup]

Fluffy - IKWYM my dh is often away or late home and i resent that sometimes its because he's out after work with his mates and yet again I'm at home with the dc. As I go out more during the days now - I was just like you when I only had ds - I don't mind the evenings so much as i look forward to doing the evenings my way - chatting on MN, lurking on the web, reading as book uninterrupted, hot bath . i know it can seem very lonely but if you get out in the day time and find some company during the day, you can focus on the fact when you're alone at home in the evening you can do exactly what you want to do without interruption or having to give over to the demands of others.The other solution is to invite people over to yours,get a chick flick and pizza, or try a body shop party if you don't know people well enough to have a dvd with them. Good advice on here about toddler groups and other activities. Its really easy to feel isolated if you're 'stuck' at home with Dc but you're not the only one, you've just got to take a deep breath and get out and find other people just like you. For a start go and talk to the other person at toddler group who isn't talking to anyone either, if nothing comes of it at least you know you made someone else feel less lonely and that will help you feel a bit better about yourself. Good luck - a lot of us have been there.

[AMAZINWOMAN]

There must be loads of single parents who have this problem too. Can you get to know other parents in the same position as you?

[havalina]

Good post clutteredup, especially about talking to the other mums at toddler group etc who are on their own and not talking to anyone. I am too scared myself to brave groups, but I do try to chat to people at the park etc. I am often so wrapped up in my "oh my god noone is talking to me" misery in group situations, that I would fail to notice someone else in the same situation, it's a really good point.

[Meandmyjoe]

Oh God, I have been there (I'm there most days!) I love being a mum but it's the hardest and loneliest thing I've ever done. I started a thread and ended up blubbing about how lonely I was as DH works such long hours and ds is a difficult baby which basically means most of the time I'm housebound. I go mad somedays. It's hard when the only adults I speak to in a day are on mumsnet! It's soo so hard. I feel for you. I end up putting ds to bed at 7pm and hanging around our house like a spare part! It's tough but as lobg as your days are OK, perhaps you could indulge in the quiet evening time you have alone. Maybe a dvd and a bar of chocolate will help occassionally. Sometimes I just have to phone my sister just so I have heard an adults voice! Hoping you are OK and things improve for you soon!

[LadyOfWaffle]

My days are like this - DH has always left by the time DS and I get up, and usually isn't home until about 11pm. It's hell. If you can possibly go out and try and build a little life up for yourself, sort of forget your DH exists in a way and do what you would do if you were say a single mum. Otherwise (if your like me) the day becomes a wait for DH to get home, and before you know it you have spend literally years living your life waiting for DH to come home.

[unconvinced]

Perhaps we should have a thread for those whose partners work late or are away from home lots. My dh if often away and I find the evenings a real struggle, as most of my friends have their own families to look after.

I sympathise with you fluffy, just keep logging onto mumsnet we are there for you.

[TootingJo]

My partner's away a lot, we moved to a new area when my baby was a month old (he's 7 months now) and I don't know anyone around here. I have to force myself to go to mum&baby group - at first it felt a bit like going to the dentist! I'm basically a shy person but I'm getting to know a few people now, and I enjoy going. I get busy with DS in the day, but it's still so dull! But the evenings are so lonely.

I was watching a film but ended up here, so you can see I wasn't enjoying it so much.

There must be loads of bored/lonely stuck at home mums, maybe we could meet up for an online chat one day or something? At least we can read mumsnet and know there are others in the same boat.

[Janni]

I was you, earlier this evening.

Then I knocked on my neighhour's door (I live in a block of flats) on some pretext, she brought over some wine and we gossiped for 2 hours which was incredibly unusual and really very nice. DH has been away for 10 days.