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Mental health

very flaky - childhood has a lot to answer for

1 reply

whateverhappened · 16/03/2008 08:56

feeling very flaky - anyone want to join me? was abused when 6, date-raped 11 years ago, went on ADs (got referred by counsellor, after being referred post std checks - nice!). got pnd (but in good state of denial, as ds is now almost 2.5), then found my records said I was psychotic. had to tell doc why I had ended up on ads in the first place, so that I could get the psychotic headline removed, but have been flaky as hell since. have been self harming (hitting myself - wonderful collection of bruises - makeup is great). Anyway, feeling like poo so thought I'd share! Husband is away with work so have been by myself for the last few weeks, which isn't making it better. haven't been sleeping brilliantly. have started on fluoxetine but haven't noticed much difference yet - it's been 3 weeks, so i was hoping to see something by now. developed ibs again as well, due to the stress of the whole psychotic thing - that has begun to calm down a bit - have lost about 1 stone, which is good, but have started to lose a bit m ore which is probably a bit too skinny, but in a sick way I like it. Anyone up for sharing a good dose of human misery? feeling like a freak! Also convinced doc thinks i am completely dysfunctional and writing strange things in my notes (he probably isn't, but have become v. paranoid about it as he had to put what i told him in my notes to get rid of the psychotic thing - doesn't make me feel v confident when going into the surgery knowing everyone can see it all).

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TiggerMeJigs · 16/03/2008 09:26

Whatever, I have to go,but I just wanted you to know that I will be back later if you need someone to talk to.

Don't feel like you are being singled out by your Doctor,they have lots of different codes they write on everyones notes that, if we knew what they meant we would all feel offended. Labeling you as Psychotic could mean a number of things. It covers a wide varity of symptoms and sounds alot scarier than it really is. I think if anyone of us saw our own notes we would disagree with half of it.

I am so sorry that you have been self harming and liking yourself so thin is just another symptom of this.
Sometimes we feel the need to punish ourselves or our bodies for what has happened to us,when infact we should be congratulating ourselves for being surviours and making it through the hard times.

Hang in there, this is just a moment in time. Go back to your GP if you feel the ADs are not taking effect. I know mine took a good month to kick in and certainly try and ask for help relating to the self harming.

I hope someone will be along in a moment to help you. I shall be back in a few hours.

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