at your doctor!! Did you tell her what you did at the weekend?? SHE was the one who put you on the ADs in the first place. And no, they are not a miracle cure, so why the fuck did she put you on them and then just leave you to it?? Stupid cow! What does a person have to do to get help??? This sort of thing makes me so angry, i honestly think you should go back and make her bloody well listen. Do you still have a HV? Speak to her, practice nurse, anyone who will listen.
Of course you can't make all the bad stuff go away, but you can alter the way you approach it. You cannot change what has been done, and when you really think about it, do you really want to? He got another woman pregnant and she is having his baby, that will never go away, even if he were to come back - this is something i could never come to terms with im afraid, so could never have him back in my life. Of course he has to see his children, but it IS possible to move on from this. A very similar thing happened to my BIL, he was a bit of shit really and a bit different to your situation, but he went on to have two children with his "mistress" and it was awful for his first GF who he had a son with. To be totally fair to him, his relationsip with his son has never suffered due to this, in fact i think it is stronger for it, he is very close to his dad. As for his mum, i think it took her a while to get over things, but she has settled down now with a new man and i think they are very happy. What i am trying to say is, this is a terrible situation but not impossible to move on from. You WILL move on from it, you just can't see it. As for him having a whale of a time?? I can't see it myself, but you can't think about it you just can't . Stop torturing yourself and take that first step into moving on. For your childrens sake, you must start to be strong now.
I am being a little harsh, but i know you would kick me up the arse when i need it too.
You have two children don't you? You go to work and you are at college? sorry, i have a terrible memory for things. With your positive head on, ask yourself where you want to be in five years time, and if you way back with your DH i will personally come looking for you and slap you up the side of the head with a wet salmon. Where do you want to be in terms of YOU, work, how will you look, what will your children be doing? How are you going to start to make those things happen. You cannot control many of the things, like a new partner stuff like that, but you can control what YOU do, so when you think, i would like to do xyz but... stop just before you get to the but.
Was the computor course moodgym.com?? my doctor recommended it to me, it is meant to be an online cbt course, it is apparently very good, i would have looked further into it myself but for some reason my browser wont allow me to have that, and mumsnet on at the same time and one has to get ones priorities straight
Don't be fobbed off by the doctor, if you thought the builder was not doing his job properly, or the greengrocer, whoever, then you would bloody well tell them, don't think the doctor is anything more than someone who is supposed to be working for YOU, after all your taxes pay her wages.