Talk

Flip

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Depressed or just tired?

6 replies

Minicooper · 11/03/2008 17:27

I've got a dd of nearly 16 weeks and have just been to have her weighed at the clinic. Ended up crying on the HV for ages - dd was doing well, but recently feeding badly (keeps pulling off, screaming in pain) and is sleeping really badly - waking every 40mins at night and needing to be shushed back to sleep. She doesn't sleep during the day unless I take her out in the pram, so still no time for me to rest or do stuff at home. My DH is picking up the slack with housework etc, but is knackered and yesterday when I said he was looking miserable, he said its because he is. We are fine in terms of relationship (I think), just finding it really hard to adapt to our lovely but demanding little girl. I thought it might be getting easier by now, but it seems to just get harder and harder. Any ideas?

OP posts:

Report

lucyellensmum · 11/03/2008 17:48

Hi there mini, and welcome to mummyhood. You must be exhausted with your little one waking so frequently. Did your HV come up with any ideas, could she have reflux?? Dont really know anything about it, but i know that can cause the sort of problems with feeding. There are lots of threads on here about this.

From what you have typed you just sound purely exhausted, i remember when DD was born and i had terrible problems with my milk coming through, i didnt sleep for two days - in the end they took me back to bhe birthing unit to help with BF (i was lucky to get that) and i just took one look at my midwife and sobbed and sobbed, out of sheer exhaustion.

I don't know that parenthood does get any easier, i think the challenges change and we cope with them in different ways. DD2 is now going through terrible twos and i look at new babies and remember fondly those times of blissful cuddles etc, of course its selective memory, you forget the broken nights being knackered. I have suffered witn PND, but even that isnt the end of the world IF you get treatment, i didnt at first and suffered needlessly. So if you are concerned talk to your doctor.

Give yourselves some time though, dont worry about the housework, keep the babies stuff clean and stuff everything else. I think things will settle down and you will be onto a new set of challenges soon enough. I would definately have a chat to your doctor about the feeding.

I cant actually remember the first few months of being a mum, its all a daze - DP feels the same, he was astounded by how hard it is, and sometimes that does get in the way of the joy of having this wonderful new person in your life. But when you look at them asleep in their cot, or they grab your finger, smile, laugh, and as DD now does, tell you they love you, you would do it all over again - i think

Report

Minicooper · 12/03/2008 08:05

Thanks, Lucyellensmum, lots of sound suggestions there. I do think I'm just overtired - we dropped the dreamfeed last night and she slept through, uninterrupted til 6.00 this morning! I feel like a different person today, so I think it is all linked to the tiredness. Thanks for all your positive comments - at the moment I can't even imagine how anyone goes on to have a second child - I'm so overwhelmed by this one! I'd always thought I'd have at least two - my mum was an only and hated it - but sometimes I think I'm spoiling my enjoyment of my dd by thinking 'how could I do this again?!' Probably too early to be thinking about it and I should just be enjoying her, but age-wise we'd thought we wouldn't hang around before thinking about a second. Good to know you've survived with two!

OP posts:

Report

Minicooper · 12/03/2008 08:05

OP posts:

Report

Fillyjonk · 12/03/2008 08:16

oh god the tiredmess is the worst. i am on baby #3 and it is such a shock. the others are 2 and 4 and I had forgotten-thats how fast it improves (mine were pretty bad sleepers too)

i don't know if parenting gets easier, but the sheer physical stress reduces, I find everything so much easier when i am not tired or in physical pain.

Report

lucyellensmum · 12/03/2008 17:42

I'm not sure if i should say this mini, but there is a fifteen YEAR gap between my girls !!! So its like having only children concurrently

Glad to see you are feeling more positive, it is so shite when you are tired.

Report

lucyellensmum · 12/03/2008 17:44

concurrent is the wrong word, i think i meant consecutively - i should have just said, one after the other

Report

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.