how honest to be with gp/hv?

[MamaChris]

I don't think I'm depressed, but my dp does and has urged me to talk to hv or gp. I'm not sleeping and need to stop crying, so I'm considering doing this, but am worried whether they will think my ds is at risk - he emphatically is not! (My family had lots of interference from social workers when I was a child, so a bit paranoid about what could happen). So my question: which one (hv or gp), if either, would you talk to and how honest is it safe to be?

[LaDiDaDi]

I would be very honest with whichever one you feel you get on with best. Tbh I would go to see your GP because at least if you don't get on with one in the practice or don't feel that they offer you the support that you want then you could always see someone else.

Would your dp go with you? My dp is just starting to come out of an episode of depression and I've gone to some GP appointments with him both to support him and show his lovely GP that he is supported but also to check that he was actually tgiving the GP the whole picture of how he was feeling and behaving.

Depression is common and only very very rarely causes children to be at risk. I'm sure that your GP will know this.

[notnowbernard]

Do you know your HV well, or have a good relationship with her? (Ditto GP)

I would go to whoever I felt more comfortable with.

A HV may be more able to sit and talk things through with you at a greater depth.

A GP will be better placed to make decisions about medication (if necessary or appropriate) Neither should judge you.

[mumatsea]

A G.P will only have 10-15 min appointment slot so not matter how empathetic they are, it will be hard for them to discuss in full. If you get on with HV then may be best to talk to them first. Neither are there to take your child away (or as Notnowbernard says, to judge) and whilst I definitely know how you feel, it is better to talk about it as they can offer support that is more impartial. Good luck

[readytoswiggin]

If you have a good relationship with your hv, or feel he or she is approchable, you might well be able to get them to visit you at home, ie, you'd be more comfortable to discuss how you feel.

I had the same worries, but ime the gp/hv etc all believe a child is best with it's parents unless at real serious risk. TBH it's better to have a mother who is more herself on ads and therepy than a depressed mum who finds every day a struggle.

[Kaz1967]

I have been very honest to my GP and midwife about my depression and have no concerns about doing to. I can understand your reluctance to talk to professionals due to your family history.

But (I am talking as a qualified nurse now) if you recognise you do have a problem whether it be depression or just over tired and ask for help surely that is a sign you have insight and is a positive. If you don't and it becomes worse and your DP goes because you are really not coping then you may need more active intervention.

If you get on with your HV I would go to her first, a major part of their job these days is helping support families and parents who are having long or short term problems such as depression, and I think you will (you should) find them really supportive. She may also be able to go through some things about why you are not sleeping and any things you can do to help your self.

If you book an appointment to see your GP I recommend you book a double appointment this gives you a little more time and neither you or them feel under as much pressure. My GP is always running late and it is because he spends time talking to patients who need to talk about things which is in most cases great because you know if you really need to talk he has not got his eye on the clock. Sometimes when waiting it can be frustrating but then I try to remember all the extra time he has spent with me when I needed it.

[squealia]

Kaz1967's advice is good. You have to tell the GP EVERYTHING - no matter how bad it is, otherwise they won't know how you're really feeling. I admitted horrible, horrible stuff and thought that they would take my baby away. But they reassured me that telling them everything was the only way that I would get proper treatment, get better and that he was far less at risk with me getting treatment and being honest than shutting myself away. More than a year later, we're doing really well and I know that if I hadn't of gotten everything off my chest then we would be where we are today. Hang in there.

[slowlane]

Don't worry about talking to your GP / HV about how you are feeling. I'm an HV and I can assure you that SS DO NOT remove children from their families because their mothers are feeling depressed. HVs and GPs are there to help you and your family.

FWIW depression is very common among mothers of small children and in lots of areas HVs go through a specially designed questionnaire (the Edinbugh Post-Natal Depression Scale) to try and identify mothers who are feeling depressed or who are moving towards it. GPs are able to offer medication and HVs are able to spend time listening and helping you to talk things through. It's also worth trying to get out and meet other mothers eg at toddler groups, although this might be quite hard at the moment if you're feeling down it does really help.

[MamaChris]

thanks everyone for messages. It's very reassuring you're all so clear that SS are not going to take ds for depression. I think I'll try and see hv. I am coping now, but - I don't want to get to not-coping.