oh god

[allgonebellyup]

i just tried to hang myself but i managed to get myself out of it, i feel like all the blood vessells in my face have burst.
i couldnt even do that right.
what the fuck can i do

[Dior]

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[Lulumama]

oh dear

things very bad i take it

do you have a crisis team or CPN you can call

how do you feel? glad to have survived or wanting to do it again

www.samaritans.org

[allgonebellyup]

dont really want to talk
will log off soon

[elesbells]

jeasus allgone - I dont know what else to say...please talk

[Lulumama]

please stay and talk, if you did not want help or talking, you would not have posted.... anyone near you who can help?

[Dior]

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[allgonebellyup]

i just wanted to tell someone but i am too embarrassed to tell RL friends. i knew i couldnt go through with it i couldnt breathe

kids are at their dads'

[Dior]

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[Lomond]

Is there no one you can talk to? Someone who can come and keep you company? You don't have to tell them but don't think you should be alone if you feel like this.

[elesbells]

allgone what area do you live in?

[allgonebellyup]

already on medication, the highest dose the doc could give me

ive been ok for ages

just dont want to be alive today

but i dont know who will look after my dd, her stepdad wont have her and her dad is not interested really. i dont want her to be split from ds

[Dior]

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[Lulumama]

you need to see a psychiatrist, they can prescribe different meds in bigger doses

mine put me on 175mg of effexor after the most the doc gave me wsa 60mg of seroxat.it made a massive difference in conjunction with intensive cousnelling and tehrapy

[Dior]

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[allgonebellyup]

it wont look different

i only feel better on some days cos of ADs. its fake happiness.
my dh will never come back and nothing will take away his new baby and i will never ever be that happy again, as i was with him

now my kids are away every single weekend with him and his gf even on mothers day, they spent the day with HER, and not me

[PerkinWarbeck]

A+E will have a psychiatrist available to see you right away. as lulu said, they are often more willing to look at different treatments to GPs. You can also from there be referred to a crisis team TODAY, who can visit you at home, and refer on for longer term help as well.

can you get a cab there right now?

[Lulumama]

it might be fake happiness, until you are better, and able to move forward

you need to give yourself time to heal and to move forward

don;t write off your whole life

[Dior]

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[lucyellensmum]

allgonebellyup, i have posted on your threads in the past, and you have posted on mine and really really helped me.

WTF is going on sweetheart? Please please talk to someone, get out of the house, do something.

I have to say this: Just imagine if you HAD succeded, your children would have found you - do you really want that? Of course you don't. I know you are desperately trying to get help here, but like the others have said, we can support you with cyber hugs and listen to all of your problems but you need to see a doctor. Please do this, and do it today - out of hours, A=E anywhere. You dont have to turn up at A+E with cut wrist to get there help, just go there and tell them what you have just done.

I know of several people who have commited suicide, i promise you, it is about as shit as it gets for those left behind. My cousin found his dad like this when he was seven - he is 37 now, but one very damaged young man

I'm sorry if this doesnt sound very sympathetic, but you need help, not sympathy just now. Of course i am sympathetic, but this is NOT the way - you are a wonderful mummy to your children. The children who are at their dads just now, but will be coming home later today or tomorrow and will want there mum to be there for a cuddle.

I know its hard to see through the mist, but please, it wont always be like this i promise you.