Am I depressed or just stressed

[talia2]

Hi, havnt been on mums net for a while but remember getting some great advise on breastfeeding a big baby so thought i'd come back. I just feel like ive hit a wall. I never happy any more. Ive 2 kids molly 2 and jack 10 months so thats hard works, my oldest has just given up on sleep, wont sleep unless in my bed and my little boy hasnt once slept though the night. I have tried eveything with both of them and am just exhusted. I have to work full time for financial reason and I just dont know who I am anymore. I dint find time for me, never see my friends. I find myself sobbing whilst ironing, the littlest thing turns me into an emotional wreak, its seriously taking it;s toll on my relationship with my partner. I'm terrifed of going to the doctors because I dont know what to expect, I keep telling myself it's a phase but the longer it goes on the less im beliving it. Anyone care to proivde some words of wisdom.
thanks

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Sympathies, hun! I think I know exactly what you mean! I love my kids, and I'm not doing TOO badly on the sleep deprivation front- ds only wakes up once a night, and the girls sleep through, but recently I've been really teary and "can't-be-bothered" which is really unlike me. My DH gets upset as he thinks if I am upset I am in some way criticising him, although I'm not. I don't know why I am sad- sometimes I think it is because I hate being overweight, and I haven't yet lost all the babyweight from no 3, which makes me feel odd, less like me. And I sometimes just want to be that confident, smart girl I once was, rather than this frumpy, fat old mum! I thought about this last week, oddly enough, and I don't actually think I am depressed- I can cope fine, and I'm on top of things, can still have a laugh with my friends when the occasion arises, I think I'm just kinda run-down. Don't know about you, but we haven't had a holiday in years, and I'm starting to think it might make all the difference if we could get away this year, despite the fact that we can't afford it. Maybe you feel the same???

[Kaz1967]

Stress can lead to depression but not sleeping always makes things 100 times worse.

Talk to your partner about how you are feeling sharing how you feel nearly always helps even if it does not take the problems away.

Is it possible for your partner to take some of this stress off you just so you can relax and get some sleep? of not over night then perhaps for an afternoon or few hours over a weekend

Have you family or friends who could do something similar so you and your partner can both have some rest and spend some quality time together?

Talk to your HV she may be able to give you some advice about helping your children to sleep it is such a common problem. I know getting to see her is going to be a problem working full time but doing it may well be worth it in the long run. She may know of a support group most meet during the day but there may be one that meets in the evening or weekend so you can talk face to face with people in similar situations to you.

[talia2]

thanks for the advise. I just find the thought of talking about it with a hv terifies me, I know thats silly. The bad days are definatly starting to take over the good at the moment. I think I need to bite the buttlet and go for it. I certainly agree with the holiday idea, although sometimes it feels like a marathon going out for lunch let alone a holiday, maybe i'll make it a uk one for the mo!!