Feeling a bit crap

[MrsSnape]

My situation - single parent of two kids, unemployed, living in council house on shit estate.

I had high hopes for this year though, I planned to get a job, move house, get a car to give me back my freedom, go back to karate which I used to love...

But its March and not much has changed and I'm starting to wonder if it ever will. I can't find a job and it is depressing me so much because without a job I can't move house. Last night there was another riot down the street, normal for a saturday night around here, police knocked on door at 11pm asking if I knew anything etc... I can't get a council transfer, I can rent privately because nobody will take DSS and I have been looking for a job for a whole year with no luck. I have been to college, been on training courses...nobody will take me on due to lack of experience.

I'm more stressed because another huge issue why we need to move is that DS1 starts secondary school in 2 years and in our current area we are in the worse school in the city's catchment area...he already gets bullied, he'd get crucified there.

I got the car at least so I do have my freedom back and I have gone back to karate which makes me realise how sad my life is...karate is ALL i think about 24/7, like its the only enjoyment I get out of life.

I spend every day stuck in this horrible house, its a tip because I hate it so much I don't clean up as much as I should, this weekend the kids were at there dads and I spent my free time playing on The Sims 2 for hours...what a way to waste a weekend but I have nothing better to do

I feel completely trapped. I have no friends, family don't bother, I get stressed out with the kids, one of which is pretty unbearable at the best of times and then I end up feeling guilty on a night when I hear of kids that have gone missing or been killed and I can never ait for mine to go to sleep.

[Kaz1967]

Don't be so hard on your self it's only just March there are 9 more months you have 2 out of your 4 planned things achieved in under 4 months I would say that is pretty good going.

I can understand the no interest in the house I am a bit like that too with mine for other reasons. and I suspect many single parents feel as you do about there kids and then feel guilty about it please stop b eating your self up about what you have not been able to change and look at what you have managed.

[MrsJonnyDepp]

Is there any chance you could teach karate?

Or run a Karate Party theme partys for kids 7-12? My son would love that! Would that be impossible as out of school hours for you kids?

Many party organizers get £50-£100 a time! Some times more!

[MrsSnape]

Thanks for the replies. I suppose I'm just impatient, I know what I want to make my life better and I find it difficult to deal with the reality that getting these things might take time.

I would LOVE to teach karate but unfortunately I'm very much a beginner myself, I quit 12 years ago so I'm back on white belt...taking my first grade next week though which I'm looking forward to .

I just worry that life is passing me by whilst I'm sat wasting my time on the Sims etc, I'm scared to death that at the age of 80 I will look back and remember nothing but wasted, pointless years

[Lovelove]

Sorry you feel so rubbish, the only thing I would say is try not to pass on your anxiety to your son, you don't want him picking up on your worries about him starting a new school. Are you on the list for a transfer? And could you go and see your doctor? If you're feeling depressed he/she could help you, there's no need to suffer alone.

[Kaz1967]

Good luck for next week

Have you considered seeing if Gingerbread has a group local to you? you may find some other Mums in a similar situation here is great but sometimes you actually want to see and physically talk to another adult. www.gingerbread.org.uk

I also found a number for the loan parent helpline in the pregnancy book the midwife gave me it's a free phone number 0800 018 5026 (wed 9am-8pm Mon-fri 9am-5pm)

Another idea is if your kids are at school or nursery maybe see if you can get a course at college to prepare you for work, new qualifications show you can apply your self and look good on a CV mant courses are free or very reduced if you are on benefits. It's also going to get you out of the house one morning or afternoon a week and again get you mixing with adults as YOU not x or y's Mum. Great confidence boost too. I did a course last year called making choices for adults where we covered confidence interviews, relaxation, and you could update your English and maths qualifications too with GCSE equivalents if you wanted.