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Mental health

Just need to get things off my chest.

17 replies

KnickersOnMaHead · 27/02/2008 00:03

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Quadrophenia · 27/02/2008 00:14

Right okay, firstly lets deal with you. It is clear that for whatever reason you are suffering from depression, you need to address this, make an appt with your GP or HV, it is clear that you may need some kind of help.
Secondly, you do not deserve to be treated this way by your dp, is he aware of how you feel? do you communicate? if he is aware and is feeding or contributing to this you really need to look at your relationship. Has it always been like this, atm it seems like a very destructive place to be, how you are treated should not be dependant on what you do for him.

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winniethewino · 27/02/2008 00:22

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KnickersOnMaHead · 27/02/2008 00:23

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Quadrophenia · 27/02/2008 00:30

There is absolutely nothing wrong in admitting you need help, it is much better than not dealing with it. I had PND and felt very similar to you, but i needed help, it wasn';t something i could solve on my own. You will get support, your parenting to your child will not be an issue, it is so important that you discuss these feelings, ignoring them will only compound the situation. Your dp sounds unable to deal/cope/ commit to a grown up realtionship, right now you need to be thinking of yourself, yet you are wrried about your relationship with him due to his inability to understand that you need support. infact he is contributing to this in a big way, you need to be a bit selfish, stop worrying about himand think of yourself for a minute, he is being a shit dp and consequently not a particuulalry good father.

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winniethewino · 27/02/2008 00:30

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KnickersOnMaHead · 27/02/2008 00:34

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winniethewino · 27/02/2008 00:35

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Quadrophenia · 27/02/2008 00:37

just because your oh is a tosser it doesn't mean the GP will be one. It sounds to me like he wants everything to run smoothly, so any kind of deviation to this causes problems. He is not going to readily accept you have a problem as this means he will have to be sympathetic and accept some kind of responsibility, by the sound of it he's not going to do this, you have to take control of yourself, make that appt.

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winniethewino · 27/02/2008 00:38

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JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 27/02/2008 00:40

Knickers you poor thing, you sound like you're going through a rough patch. Are you the lady who couldn't get on the august 2007 postnatal thread? We have a new thread which you can try getting onto.

We'd love to offer our support, a few of us are going through bad patches and the girls on the thread have been great. Your post sounded like someone who is very very hard on themselves, and maybe you should be kinder. Life with a 6 month old baby isn't easy, we've all struggled and felt frumpy and miserable at times. You aren't alone, and you haven't failed at anything.

I have to go to bed now, I'm exhausted, but please do pop in, we all have a good moan there. x

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KnickersOnMaHead · 27/02/2008 00:40

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Quadrophenia · 27/02/2008 00:44

Knickers (btw I love your name) thnigs can and will get better. What i do want to point out though is that just becaause you may be suffering from depression this does not exonerate you oh from his behaviour, if you guys are continue a relationship then the way he treats you has to change, you are certainly worth a lot more than he is giving you credit for. Will check intomorrow, take care x

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KnickersOnMaHead · 27/02/2008 01:07

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winniethewino · 27/02/2008 08:39

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KnickersOnMaHead · 27/02/2008 23:44

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Kaz1967 · 28/02/2008 02:03

Knickers sounds like OH needs a kick up the bum not you my best friend was in this sort of unsupportive relationship for 17 years and has nearly escaped (they are not longer together but he is still living in the house because he cannot afford to move out an the old trout as she calls the other woman has not left her husband yet).

Your GP if they are any good will not judge you they are usually (but admittedly not always) supportive. It is also worth contacting your HV they are usually really good a lot of there job these days is supporting Mums who have PND they may also run support groups for Mums with PND and it is amazing how knowing that you are not the only one can help.

I could be well off here but I read it as a large proportion of your feelings go back to your partner and things that have happened in your relationship. Things to maybe ask your self are. Is this a caring and supportive relationship for you and your child? and do you want to continue in this relationship? It takes 2 people to work at a relationship and that means him needing to listen, support you and compromise as well as things coming from you. Have you thought of contacting Relate? www.relate.org.uk there is often a long wait for appointments but either you can go alone or you can go as a couple.

You deserve more than this as does your Daughter.

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Quadrophenia · 28/02/2008 23:12

Knickers how are things?? more importantly how are you feeling? Its really easy when things seem marginally better to forget about how bad you can be made to feel, I know, have been there, just hope you are taking some steps to sorting things out x

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