Narked off with counsellor!

[MumtoCharlotteMay]

I am supposed to start my counselling group sessions on Thursday. Was really actually quite looking forward to them, getting the morning off from dd, meeting others who can share their experiences with me, they're all around my age, being able to talk to others who understand etc.

Childcare for dd (9mo) was said to be taken care of by my counsellor. He told me that the really nice nursery up the road from me would have the babies, no problems. It was all sorted weeks ago.

Then last feckin week he tells me that the nursery is too expensive, fine. He then says he has a list of the local childminders and that he'll start ringing them to see if any of them can take dd. Success. One said she can have dd. Then on Friday he was coming to pick me and dd up to take us up to meet her. He turned up and said he had cancelled the meeting as he'd heard negative feedback about her.

He then hands me the frickin list and says for me to ring round and see if I can get anybody. Less than a week before the group starts. I'm supposed to find somebody to take dd for the next 10 weeks, on a Friday afternoon?

I've rung them, all. Nobody can have her, surprise surprise. I'm now sat in floods of tears because I doubt I'll be able to go to the group. My family all work, and other family live an hour away, which I think is unfair to ask them to come all this way for an hour, for 10 weeks. The only friend in my area I'd trust to have dd has her own dd who's a day older than mine. Running about after 2 9mo babies, I wouldn't ever consider asking her.

Why the hell has this been left to me to sort out? I now feel like absolute crap because I've 'failed' to get dd a sitter. And I'll be damned if I'm leaving her with just anyone. He even suggested trying sitters outside of my town, and not trying to sound precious but she's only 9mo and I've never left her with a stranger before. Least of all one who'd take her out of my town.

I just don't get why I've been dumped with sorting all this out. It's just made me feel even worse which I can't help thinking is very ironic considering it's all for a therapy group to help me feel better! I feel like ringing my cousellor and yelling at him for landing me with this. It feels like a bit of a slap in the face, as I was quite looking forward to the group.

[HonoriaGlossop]

Sorry it's been so stressful

Though I have to say I have never come accross a counsellor do this for a client before ( I work with clients with mental health problems) I think that was very unusual and leaving it to the parent to sort childcare would be much more common.

Not that it's right, as I know sometimes it's the logistical difficulties of sorting this sort of things out that can make it feel too much like a mountain to climb and people don't go. i just don't think counsellors do have the time to chase childcare when it's obviously quite a time consuming job....

Rather than yelling at the counsellor for landing you, why not take a deep breath and say that you REALLY want the counselling, but can you do this childcare search as a team again now because you have tried everything and the feelings of failure you're getting are not helping your state of mind.

Have you gone via Sure Start? Your local city/county council website should have a list of all local childcare providers...