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Mental health

problem parents

4 replies

roseability · 23/02/2008 21:24

Just need to moan. My parents are visiting (in fact they are in the same room right now, but obviously don't know I'm doing this!). I have a tricky relationship with them, long story. They haven't treated me with love or respect since my DS was born, and I suffered with PND (still on Citalopram). I have come on a mile through tablets and counselling, and have a wonderful relationship with my son, feel like a new woman etc. But when they are here, the anxiety creeps back. I resent them spending time with my Son. My son is a very loving and accepting little boy, so he is fine with them, despite not seeing them much but part of me wants him to dislike them. I know I shouldn't let my problems with them affect my Son, so I just grit my teeth and get on with it. It's so hard! Anyone else have similar issues?

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sdr · 23/02/2008 21:44

How long are they visiting for? If they're staying the night could you sneak out early tomorrow for a long walk with DS. Say something about he needed settling. I find it hard when it feels like everyone is watching me, even if they aren't. Haven't had PND but have seen my mum suffer with depression and am currently battling with my father who is being very unreasonable and hurtful. I try to shut out negative thoughts and plan happy things to do each day. At the moment, one of my favourites is taking my DS3 for a bike ride, just bought a child bike seat on Ebay, best things I've done for ages.

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roseability · 23/02/2008 21:50

Thnaks sdr! they are actually leaving tomorrow,thank goodness. My father is also unreasonable and hurtful, but like you I am getting much better at shutting out his negative comments. I just focus on my DS and DH when they are here. It seems to be such a tabboo to admit that you don't like/get on with your parents. I think a lot of people presume you are being unfair, or maybe I just perceive it that way. Not all parents are worthy of love and respect!

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sdr · 23/02/2008 21:54

Sadly you're right. My DH reminds me that we have the opportunity to not do that to our DCs - history doesn't have to repeat itself.

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roseability · 23/02/2008 22:06

Yes that is true! I feel I am breaking the cycle with my DS. Whilst I don't claim to be the perfect mother, I know why I have found my parents difficult and will avoid their mistakes (the major ones anyway!).

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