Do you think it's irresponsible/wrong to become pregnant while depressed?

[LadyOfWaffle]

Just thinking about what my mum was saying to DH about "what was she thinking about, getting pregnant?" etc. Mum doesn't know the extent of my depression, but obviously can see some of the effects ie. pretty housebound etc. etc. and now I don't know how to feel about "getting pregnant". Depression is just something I am learning to live with at the moment - I have spend about 4 years trying to "cure" it, putting my life on hold and now I think I have to just live my life and wait for it to pretty much go on it's own. I could be like this for another 6 months, or another 6 years... or forever so it's hard to think " ok, I will make sure I am a 100% better before having another baby". Do you think it's irresponsible? Did you wait/go ahead etc?

[NatalieJane]

I am going to go out on a limb, and probably be shot down.

I think it completely depends how severe the depression is, and if you can reasonable prepare, or estimate, how a pregnancy and a baby will effect the depression.

If, for example, someone was showing suicidal tendancy's, then I personally think a baby should be the last thing on their mind. If the depression is there, but under control, then maybe it isn't the worst thing to happen.

Would this be your first baby?

[Lulumama]

i waited until i was better, hence almost 6 years between my DCs

if i am not speaking out of turn, you have had a lot of issues with your DH, and i would be more concerned about having another baby with him on that basis alone. sorry if that sounds harsh, LoW.

i knew when i was depressed after DS ,that having another child would have destroyed me, i was not in the right place to cope with anything, never mind anything as monumental as another child.

but you know yourself and your situation best.

you are pregnant, no? so it is a fait accompli now. make sure you are getting good support and counselling etc

[LadyOfWaffle]

It's ok Lulu, I know you're just being honest. I know it's not really an issue now as such, as I already am but it made me think abit. I am definatly not as bad, it's very much under control, I do get down days etc. but no way to the extent of what it was like.

[LadyOfWaffle]

ooops, the 'mama' dropped off the end of that!

[Lulumama]

s'alright, call me lulu!

i thikn that it is importnat to acknowledge things have been bad, and might be again,. and that you have safety nets in place.. in case you do get very down or things with DH take a turn for the worst.

i found having DD so much easier for 2 reasons, i had a much better birth and i had a huge support network

i made plans,went out, joined groups and PND did not recur. it took a lot of effort to make sure that i was in a different frame of mind and to keep going.

not saying it is mind over matter, but being 'well' can sometiems take a lot of effort

[posieflump]

My sister got pregant by accidetn when on AD's when her 1st child was 9 months old.
As she was pregnant she stopped the ADs immediately (they were prescribed for pnd).
She did find it hard but oped better than she had the firt time round.
Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and cope with the hand life deals you

[BigBadMouse]

No, also going to stick my neck out here... NOT irresponsible or wrong. You cannot forsee how another baby will affect your mood. I've had 4 pregnancies while depressed, 3 of which totally cured my depression - the only time I have ever been cured. This time, I have not had the same luck and am coping with my usual level of depression (severe), 2 pre-schoolers and a pregnancy. You cannot put your life on hold indefinitely. If you can cope with your current son, I don't see why you could not cope with another.

hth

[zain]

hi i accidently got preg while on antidepressants for dep, found it hard at first, i tried coming off ad but was feeling to bad so i had to carry on, i found that being preg gave me hope and a pupose in life my ds is now 3 and im still on ad, im not saying its easy but i can honestly say it helped me, but everyone is different.

[girlfrommars]

BigBadMouse, don't mean to be pushy but have you had your hormone levels checked?

My aunt had severe depression for over 20 yrs before she got tested for something else and discovered that this was due to hormones.

[BigBadMouse]

No not had any testing of that sort done. Would think hormones would play a part but I don't think that is unusual.

[NorthernLurker]

I think you shouldn't try to look at your pregnancy through someone else's eyes. The judgements they make don't matter to you - what you need to focus on is your gut feeling - which was to go for it - and I've never been in your shoes but I do think you are right not to put your life on hold. Good Luck with the new baby.

[Ledodgy]

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer on this one. All I know is when I got pregnant with ds1 I was already depressed but rather than feeling down all the time it showed as anxiety and panic attacks. When I had ds 1 I became agrophobic and needed CBT to sort this out. Looking back especially now I have just had ds2 I didn't adore ds 1 from the start like I did with dd or ds 2 and I feel guilty as hell because of that. He also has a dummy which he is now addicted too because unlike ds2 who I just give the dummy to at nap times I used to use the dummy constantly with ds1 as I just couldn't cope with him crying and this has affected his speech as in he knows loas of words but his pronnunciation is rubbish.

That said I would not send ds 1 back for the world and I could possibly have gone down a more slippery slope had I not had him. It's entirely up to you. Good Luck.

[SparklyDYSONGothKat]

I fell pregnant with Dd2 while on Anti-depressions for PND from having dd1. I found that the pregnancy hormores helped a lot