mum's coming tomorrow :(

[margobambino]

I feel so low. She will be here tomorrow with my dad(actually I should say "today") and I feel like she is going to destroy everything, lower my self-esteem, create anxiety at home and make me crazy. She will stay approximately 2 months as she normally lives in another country. She is supposed to help me with baby care. I'm sure she will help but will make me depressed too.
The worst thing is, I have a baby and I know how a mum loves her child. So I find it much more difficult than before that she did not love me at all! I have to accept and adjust the idea that she doesn't love me and I hate her.
Can anybody say something to make me feel better please.

[OverRated]

I don't know that anyone can say anything that will make you feel better. It sounds like a terrible situation for you. Is there nowhere else she can go for a while? 2 months is a very long time.

[denbury]

i love my mum but for her to stay 2 months i would kill her!!!!!!! hope all goes well

[susiemj]

I can only say that I felt exactly the same when my mum came to stay when I had new baby. It wasn't as bad as I thought ...and she cut short the visit by storming out ... maybe yours will do this .

Really, I just know something of how you feel. I would try and get out every day on your own with the baby or make up errands for your mum. I found I craved time alone with my LO.

Good luck. I feel for you.

[jellibabe]

Hi Margo I know how you feel. Once I had my children I felt even more let down by my mother as I felt she had never really been one. You obviously love your baby and now have a fantastic opportunity to build a loving relationship with it. The sad experience you had with your mum will help in a strange way. It will strengthen your relationship. You can learn from it to ensure the caring relationship you have with your baby matures in the way you would have liked.

I always felt my mum prefered her dogs to us. I am sure you will always make your baby feel loved.

Your Mum will go home. Your baby will be there for a long time to come. Be firm and lay down your rules.

[margobambino]

Thank you very much ladies.
Overrated, this is a very special circumstances which will take to long to explain here but she has to stay that long at the end unfortunately.
Jellibabe, I hope it will help in an strange way to build a healthy relationship with my baby as you said. I really felt "understood" when I read your reply.
I think I feel a bit better now. She will go at the end won't she?
I definitely need to lay down my rules, this is my home and my baby. I'm no gonna let her to destroy my self esteem and confidence.

[OverRated]

Yes, stick to your guns - your home, your baby, your life, your rules. And keep reminding yourself that she will leave.

Good luck.

[miku]

hello its monday,hows it going?do you get on well with your dad?cos he can be your ally to help you keep your space, and boundaries.
hope you are feeling strong.

[margobambino]

Hello Miku, Thanks for your message and sorry for my late answer. I haven't been able log in for few days. It is not going too bad at the moment. Yes you are very right, dad's helping a bit. I do get on well with him normally but he is a quite obsessive person and living with him for long can be difficult in some ways. He is a retired teacher and still can't stop teaching
I am trying to have fun with my baby, going to groups, shopping, etc. and leaving mum with the laundry and housework Kind of revenge maybe.