shouting at boys again

[MelbourneMum]

I've just sworn and shouted at my two boys (2 1/2 and 4 1/2) for not eating their dinner. Really lost it, picked up their dinners and went to throw them both in the bin and then when they both burst into tears and pleaded with me not too, slammed their plates back down on the table and burst into tears and stormed out. I then realised the back door was open and the neighbours were in their garden, just to add insult to injury.

I am supposed to be the adult here and what kind of example am I setting. I just feel sick. My children have no sense of predictability in their lives, I am fine for hours and tolerant and patient and then lose it over the smallest thing.
They are beautiful boys and deserve better than this. Help please.

[meemar]

Hi MM

Don't know if you've posted about this before so sorry if I've missed anything. Are you going through a bad time at the moment? Is this a common occurrence? Or was it just a bad day?

I have 2 boys exactly the same age and some days I get driven to frustration and find myself shouting at them, then I see their little faces and remember they are just my baby boys and feel awful.

The best example to set after you've done something awful is to say sorry - they will know that you mean it and they will see that mums have bad moments too.

[MelbourneMum]

thanks meemar
I had pnd after ds2 but have been off medication for 6 months and generally feeling on top of things but just feel like I"m not coping again quite recently, I've been ill and am just tired all the time.
I took each of them aside later tonight and apologised and tried to explain, they are so forgiving, it breaks my heart even more.
I probably just need to have a look at what's going on for me to be slipping again.

Thanks for your post, I appreciate it.

[JoeCool]

This rang a lot of bells for me.

I've done worse today - sobbed on the floor in front of them after yelling and screaming.

I have two boys too - similar ages - and I went to the docs about a fortnight ago. He was v sympathetic and said it does make a difference having boys. I don't know if he was just being nice but he said parenting is harder for women, harder for modern women and harder if you have boys.

I've just emailed a counsellor and am trying to change things to avoid these flashpoints -but I can't see them coming. And the rage is terrifying.

Overheard another mum today, telling about a horrible row with her son and the nursery nurse saying it doesn't matter what she said, the child at least saw that his action prompted a reaction.

I look at mine sleeping and wonder how I can be doing this to them.

Thanks for posting your own thoughts - helped me to feel I'm not alone.