Anyone else with chronic depression actually managed to stay off meds?

[Beauregard]

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[Upsidedownegg]

My FIL did after several years of prozac and its alternatives.

He needs to have structure to his day otherwise he slides back down again.

I hope you are able to do what you want. It's such a horribe thing to live with.

[Beauregard]

Thankyou

I just feel like i am constantly fighting to stay off meds and not sure if i have the energy but my stubborness keeps me going.

[Beauregard]

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[BigBadMouse]

Yes I have had chronic severe clinical depression for a long time (diagnosed 13 years ago). I took Citalopram for the first time last year for a few months. I came off to conceive. I just didn't want to take meds as I felt it masked the problem and didn't cure it. It can be done, it's hard work but very rewarding. I've had a fair bit of CBT which helped and cured me of an associated anxiety state.

In the end I took Citalopram as I just decided I wanted to do the AD thing and give myself a break. I will go back onto when I can but only because I am happy to do that now.

You need to be a strong person to succeed without meds, that sounds like a bit of a strange thing to say to someone who has depression but if, underneath all the crap you are strong you can do it. I suppose it is a bit like saying if you have a strong immune system you can fight an illness without medication sometimes.

Good luck, don't be pushed into doing something you don't want to do. Sounds like you won't be pushed though and thats a hopeful start if ever there was one.

[LardyMardyDaisy]

I don't have any advice, but am interested in hearing what anyone has to say, as I feel like I'll be on ADs forever. I've been taking them for 10 months now after several bouts of depression since my DS was born 5.5 years ago.

I know how difficult life can be though without them, after several episodes of being on again off again with them.

Have you tried all the ususal stuff like routine, structure, exercise, no booze etc? Have you got some good coping strategies in place for when it all goes a bit pete tong? I was seeing the MH nurse at my GPs practice and we talked a lot about cognitive behavioural therapy which I find quite useful.

[Beauregard]

I have tried various ad's which don't work.
Also the basic few NHS sessions of CBT which tbh i'm not sure it helped because i only had a bout 6 hours of it and trying to write stuff down all the time i don't have time for,it is one more demand in my head.

Sick of feeling half dead though.

[BigBadMouse]

CBT isn't all about having to write loads down though. Thats what they seem to get you to do with the quick NHS sessions and it is too much to do all at once I agree.

Do you have a decent reference book on CBT you can flick through when you feel in the mood and have time - just to sort of get your 'thinking' in order.

[Beauregard]

No i don't have a CBT book.

[BigBadMouse]

There is a very good one which I can recommend to you if you think it would be of help to you. It is crammed full of info. CBT lessons, how to tell if you are progressing, common errors made in CBT, ADs and their side effects and specific useage. It is pretty scientific which I like but it has everything in it you would need to help treat depression yourself. It is huge though so best dipped into as and when as I do

[Beauregard]

Yes please that does sound as though it would be useful.

[LardyMardyDaisy]

A friend of mine lent me a great book a while ago. I'll get the name of it from her tomorrow and post it here for you. It was a bit idiot proof and some of the case studies were a bit contrived, but there was lots of useful stuff in there which you could work through at your own pace.

It is bloody hard though, isn't it. I feel like I'm wading through treacle some days.

[seb1]

Here is CBT website Living life you might like to have a look at.

[BigBadMouse]

This one. Don't be put off by the american look - it is a decent book. Both my psychs have recommended it over other self help books.

On the first page it says 'Feeling Good Feels Wonderful - you owe it to yourself to feel great' but after that awful, cringeworthy start it improves

Makes a good doorstop and is a good weapon against a cat who insists on clawing the furniture too

[Beauregard]

Thanks all of you.

Yes LardyMardyDaisy i know it is shite.
I never imagined as a little girl that i would have my life defined by depression.

[BigBadMouse]

Thats just how you feel now. Who knows what you'll end up doing once you are more in control of the bastard thing?

After 13 years of it so far, like hell am I going to let it be all I am. It has taken so much from me that I just refuse to let that happen any more. Even if you just have one morning of freedom from it thats a start.

[Beauregard]

bumping for anymore thoughts.

[Threadworm]

I'm thinking of coming off, because I am sick of the sleepy, stalled feeling that they give me. And they don't make me happier or more positive, only less tearful.

I've been on and off an awful lot of times, though. And it always seems to end up with me sobbing in the GP's surgery, and the GP saying 'Why don't you try the ADs again.'

[Beauregard]

Threadworm- that is exactly why i don't want to rely on meds.I haven't taken anything for 20 months or so but surely a preson should be able to fight it longer?

[Beauregard]

Person

[Threadworm]

If you are feeling awful, in a way that ADs might lessen, then 20 months is a long time to be fighting. No wonder you feel exhausted. I'm afraid I havn't anything helpful to say, except that you have my sympathy, and that you should give yourself credit for your strength.

[Nemoandthefishes]

pelvic I have been off meds now for nearly 2yrs apart from a bried couple of weeks last monthy which actually seemed to make me more suicidal. have suffered severe and enduring depression and anxiety for over 4yrs

[Beauregard]

Do you wonder how long you can exist like this though?
I say exist because that it what it is ,not enjoyable.

[BigBadMouse]

I did it for 12 years without meds- I wouldn't even call it existing most of the time to be honest.

Difference was for me that ADs did help (for the short time I was on them last year). They made me less snappy with the children and that made me feel less guilt which helped a lot. I just couldn't bear the way I was with them. It's not that I was awful to them but I felt I was being disrespectful towards them because of the way I shouted at them.

20mg citalopram is quite a low dose (the usual starter dose). Have you thought about trying a different type of AD altogether? I'm not saying that is what you should do at all it just that you have only tried one type really and there may be one out there that will help you. You should be offered some other form of help to though besides meds IMO. Meds get rid of the symptoms but people with severe depression need more help treat the problem that just the relief that ADs can bring.

[BigBadMouse]

sorry that should have read - 'meds may get rid of the symptoms' but that in itself is usually not enough to cure moderate or severe depression

[Beauregard]

Off the top of my head i have tried ..Sertraline,seroxat (best one of the lot but never been offered it again because of the risks)Venlafaxine and there is another one of which the name escapes me.

I know what you mean about the dc ,all i do is shout and snap when i am low.
Poor dc will grow up hating me or describe as one of those "My mother was mentally unwell most of the time blah blah"