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Mental health

Want to pack my bags

8 replies

DingdongmerrRADLEYonhigh · 05/12/2007 16:22

I think alot the reasons are here

But I seriously have had enough, If I had somewhere to go I would pack my bags and disappear and leave dh to everything.

This is the first time I've been honest because I don't want friends getting fed up etc.

But I feel unloved (if he gives me a hug it ends up with him groping and shoving his tongue down my throat so I pull away, unappreciated, i have zero respect from anyone in the house.

I work 3 days a week, the other 4 I do housework try and catch up etc. Even when I do come home from work I have to set about tidying round etc because dh has done practically nothing.

I eat too much food whilst not tasting/watnting it, drink too much alcohol whilst not really wanting/tasting it and I cannot remember the last time I had an unbroken nights sleep, whether it be the cats (keep em in they fight and scratch at bedroom door, lock em out and they spend all night meowing outside bedroom window), dd2 having a bad dream or dh laying all over me.

I just feel that I'm at end of my tether and I'm cryng typing this.

OP posts:
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Niecie · 05/12/2007 16:28

Just wanted you to know your post hasn't gone unnoticed but I am at a loss what to say. I just wish I could wave a magic wand for you and make it all better.

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Niecie · 05/12/2007 16:30

Is there any way you can go away by yourself for the weekend?

Has DH registered how unhappy you are? Have you sat him down calmly and talked to him? I know I would expect DH to know how pissed off I was but I also know he wouldn't get it unless I spelled it out calmly.

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DingdongmerrRADLEYonhigh · 05/12/2007 16:32

I think he does know, but, if I sat and tried to talk to him he would do his usual.

Get cocky
Turn things round on me
Ignore what i'm actually saying, promise to change things, do it for a fortnight, then it would get back to the usual again.

OP posts:
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karen999 · 05/12/2007 16:34

Gosh, sounds just like my ex husband!! I got mega pissed off all the time - it was exhausting and I was forever trying to explain how I felt but he never registered what I was saying at all! It was like talking to a brick wall. Sending you hugs...xx

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Niecie · 05/12/2007 16:45

Perhaps you need to be more subtle and change his behaviours one thing at a time. Bloody exhausting for you but it might work better than confronting him.

I'm trying to think of an example but maybe instead of expecting him to put the meat in the oven and remember to do the vegetable, actually tell him that is what needs doing. Men very often can't see it. It doesn't occur to them to think things through. My DH would be the same so I have to spell it out and then he does it.

Bribe your DD to help. If you give them pocket money only give it to them if they do certain things without being asked. Try and operate a one strike and your out policy where if they don't do it after the first reminder, something they like doing or having is taken away. Stick to your promises and don't give in and eventually you should get results.

The problem with all these suggestions is that they all require you to make them adjust their behaviour which I know is tiring and soul-destroying but take a longer term view and hope that in the future you will have to do less as a result.

Not much help to you today though. I am sorry that you are feeling so down.

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yogimum · 05/12/2007 16:55

You poor thing, I really feel for you. Haven't got much advice I'm afraid, but is it possible you could go stay with a friend for a couple of days so you can think things through. Sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees when you are in the thick of it. I'm sure they would cope without you.

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lucyellensmum · 05/12/2007 16:57

dingdong, ive not read the other thread but there are alarm bells ringing for me in your OP. The too much food and alcohol while not tasting/wanting it. Honey, you sound like you are depressed to me, whatever the reason. It will cloud your judgement - get thee to a physician. I think you could benifit from some "help" whether that be in the form of counselling or ADs, it might help you put things into perspective and then you can spell it out to DP/DH why things have to change.

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lucyellensmum · 05/12/2007 17:00

just read your other thread, your DH needs a wake up call. TALK to him, go to see your doctor then take your DH along with you so he can understand. Im not putting all of this on you, HE needs to change but this is putting you in a place where you cannot be objective enough to put it to him kindly.

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