I smy DH depressed?

[gingerninja]

I don't know if he's suffering from some sort of anxiety or depression, I have no experience of either but he is quite out of character. Two of his brothers have depression.

Basically we've all been ill on and off for weeks. He's also had two migraines and I think this has compounded the situation but he's been left with a number of symptoms which are not going away. I can't work out if it's the remains of the migraine / cold or something else. His symptoms are....

Very very dizzy
Anxious
Worried about not getting better, the future, how we'll cope if he doesn't.
Feels like the walls are closing in
Blury vision
Tearful
Not eating
Can't sleep
Feeling 'rough'
He also keeps repeating himself
He's very twitchy almost trying too hard but getting everything confussed

I really don't know how to deal with this so any advice gratefully received. DD is ill too so I have little time to dedicate to him and to be honest I'm running out of patience. I know that's awful and I'm about admitting it.

[bootsmonkey]

Sounds like stress related anxiety and/or panic attacks brought on by exhaustion and post viral crappiness. The line into depression is very fine IME. Sounds like he needs to take some time off work and get some sleep and build his reserves back up. Probably the same for all the family. Not eating/sleeping and being weepy are all signifiers of depression as is anxiety. It dosn't mean it is a long term problem though, and he should be able to pull himself out of it.

It is hard to be sympathetic when you are also feeling crap and just need support. Been there done that! I think he needs to address the problems. Any doctor should be able to sign him off work and between the two of you you should be able to deal with your DD and catch up on recovery time too. Is there anyone else nearby who can give you a hand??

Hope it gets better soon.

[gingerninja]

bootsmonkey, thanks for taking the trouble to respond your words have lifted me up and hope that we can address it together. Unfortunately don't have any support locally but we'll do our best. Thanks again.

[notnowbernard]

If I were your dh I would go to the GP.

Some of his symptoms may have a physical cause that could easily be checked out.

Won't do any harm, anyway

[gingerninja]

Thanks Bernard, we went yesterday and they've sent him for blood tests, Dr did an examination while we were there but couldn't find anything physically wrong with him.

I suspect it's stress related because when he's feeling under pressure at the moment, ie DD upset, worrying about not going to work, he's worse. He's lothed to admit to stress though which makes managing it very difficult. When I read out the symptoms of stress to him from a website he got all anxious again grr. Just wish he'd try and help himself a little but he gets so so negative. I just want to shake him and I know that's not the appropriate way of dealing with it but I'm reaching the end of my tether

[notnowbernard]

It is very difficult dealing with someone who is obviously unwell (physically or psychologically) who is reluctant to acknowledge it, or indeed deal with it.

If the physical stuff comes back all clear, perhaps that will help him 'face up' to the fact that things aren't 'normal' atm... maybe you could gently present him with evidence of his being stressed and how this isn't how he'd react to things ordinarily.

Sorry you're going through this atm.

[gingerninja]

Thanks, that's kind.