OCD / PureO what has helped??

[blushingm]

I have been told I have OCD but it's mostly just the odsession and no physical compulsion. I don't know what to think, has anyone had any experience of this

I've been taking AD since dd was 2 weeks old and only now it's been suggested. I'm being told to wean off the venlafaxine i've been taking and to start fluoxitine instead - what are the side affects of this etc

Sorry but i'm feeling a bit overwehlemed

[chinwag]

So sorry. This is hard to deal with.

Don't have direct experience, but don't want you to feel no-one is here for you.

[applesinabluebowl]

Good forum here, if you haven't already found it:

www.ocdforums.org/

[TinkerbellesMum]

Hi, I've just been told I have OCD too. I thought I was Pure O, but looking into it and thinking about it I do have a lot of history of things, I found it's not all cleaning! (Mum would be happy if I had the cleaning side)

I don't know what to suggest. My psychiatrist wants my mood leveled before she refers me to a psychologist to sort out the OCD.

[blushingm]

I can't think of any compulsions I have but definately the O bit. Mostly everything is my fault because I did x or didn't do x

That forum is really interesting thanks apples....I think I'll start lurking.

I don't know anyone in RL who has or admits to having OCD si i'm kind of feeling a bit like a freak with a label on my forehead - oh and pity from those i've told.....but i could just imagining that.

Tinkerbellesmum - do you think sorting your ocd might help to level your mood?

PS I wish I had cleaning OCD - my house could do with him!!! just for a week or so though

[TinkerbellesMum]

I don't know about OCD leveling my mood I'm very low at the moment and I think it's making my OCD worse, I don't think I would be in the right place to try to sort it out now.

My worst compulsion is lists. I always have a notebook with me and I list anything and everything, sometimes I rip it up, scribble it out or just turn a page and rewrite it - especially if there is a mistake in it, I hate mistakes in writting, probably another compulsion. I have to list things before I go out, what I have with me (it doesn't help that when I have forgotten I've left things) so I will stand on the doorstep with the door open saying "keys, purse..." and tapping each one so I know I have it.

lol to tell you my compulsions I have to use a compulsion!

A lot of them I didn't really think much of, just my little things, but since I've thought about my life in sense of OCD it has become more obvious what they are. I had some odd ones as a child!

My thoughts can be horrible at times and I'm now trying to filter out which are obsessions to try and make them less disturbing.

[blushingm]

that's what i am struggling with....thoughts that jump into my head and no matter what i do ican't help thinking and/or believing even though if it was someoneelse saying it about themselves i'd tell them not be so silly - i know it's unreasonable/illogical

[TinkerbellesMum]

They are very believable because they come from in your head. I struggle to work out if I think it. Like I imagine something bad happening to Tink by accident but something I did (let her fall type accidents usually) and whilst I'm distressed about the vivid images of something bad happening to her I am wondering if I want it to happen and that's as distressing!

I try to distract myself, talk to Tink's Dad or ring someone. Sometimes just moving from where I am can help. I find that once I've thought about something in one place the thing I looked at when it happened becomes a trigger so everytime I look at that I start to think about it again.

[blushingm]

it's horriblefeeling that your own mind is playing tricks and making you feel so terrible about yourself - that's how i feel anyway. I haven't found anything that can stop those thoughts popping in or how to get them out ......i'm getting so frustrated with myself - dh noticed i've been pluck more recently - i've always plucked hairs out with tweezers - legs, face, underarms anywhere - may that's my thing - i still wwish it was claning though - when i say stuff out loud it sounds so stupid i don't know if i can tell cpn or doc etc the truth about all of it

[TinkerbellesMum]

lol if it gets worse when you're down then it's a good chance it's a compulsion.

I don't tell people what I'm thinking about, just talk to distract myself. It is important you talk to your Dr or CPN. They've heard worse and they won't judge you for it.

[whitewirebluewireyellowwire]

I've always read it's best not try to resist the thoughts, you can't stop thoughts (the old try not to think of a blue cow - what are you thinking of? yep that's it) so better just to let them flow in however awful they are (and I mean however awful) - they are just thoughts, they don't do or mean anything by themselves.

[TinkerbellesMum]

Have you had O thoughts? Have you held your baby so tight because you don't know whether or not you want to throw them over the side of a balcony or boat because the thoughts are going through your head what would happen if it happened and you don't know if it's what you want?

Then you are frozen in fear not knowing what it is and the thoughts are developing. If she went over the side of the boat would she be dragged under the boat? Would she be able to keep herself up until someone could get in the water and get her out? Would she survive it? Would she be damaged by it? Stopping there because the more I explore it the more graphic it gets.

I felt more sick from fear and disgust than from sea sickness that time, I was crying and shaking because it was so vivid and graphic and I didn't understand if it was what I wanted on some level.

I haven't had any professional help for my OCD so I don't know what the "official" coping techniques are, for now distraction is the best thing I can do.

sorry if that sounded agresive, I'm just struggling with it at the moment

[whitewirebluewireyellowwire]

One of the recognised coping techniques involves working on understanding that thoughts in themselves can't do anything, that they don't even signify wanting to do something. It might sound trite and obvious, and impossible, but that's really important.

Thinking about those things does not mean you want them to happen. Sadly the more we try to resist those thoughts and give them loads of significance, the more they intrude.

It might seem impossible and unbelievable that you could get to that point (where you let the thoughts happen and that's actually how they stop being so intrusive), but that is one of the things you're aiming at - rather than aiming at not having them or not noticing them by avoiding them. Sort of a casual "oh right, that's that thought" (you observe it happening in all its gory detail, but simply don't care - it's only a thought - and that makes it fade again quickly) rather than "omg, it's that thought again, quick quick hide, oh god now it's got worse, I can't believe I'm thinking this, hide hide!" (which strengthens it).

I hope professional help helps, as and when you can get it. OCD is awful.

[blushingm]

I'mpinning my hopes on the new meds - i've started thinking horid things about accidents happening - i get scared carrying dd downstairs in case i fall with her underneath me or i drop her. i get afraid crossing the road incase there is a car i'vemissed. When either ds or dd catch a bug or something it's my fault for now breast feeding them long enough. if they have tummy ache it's appendicitis which would be my faultbut if i go to a and e i'd look stupid if it's nothing but they'd die if the had something and i missed it.
I can't help thinking about breastfeeding - ds is nearly 6 and dd is 18 months - you'd have thought i'd have got over it. i think about doing it, scold myself for being so selfish to give up because it hurt so much, i feel jealous of everyone who can do it/does it. i feel guilty every day for it - stupid isn't it

[TotalChaos]

I agree with whitewire's posts. I have had both "thoughts" OCD and handwashing. SSRI meds such as Fluoxetine have helped immensely. I think there is often a connection between OCD and depression - if the OCD goes untreated for long enough, it tips you into depression, dealing with the day to day strain of living with anxiety.

I would strongly recommend a book called "Imp of the Mind" by Lee Baer - it focuses on intrusive thoughts OCD. Having unpleasant intrusive thoughts is a very common OCD symptom, but tends to be underreported as it's stressful to admit to.

Most people need more than the usual starting dose (20 mg) for OCD, so it may take a couple of months to see a noticeable improvement. Side effects - the usual on starting ADs - i think the most common ones are nausea, dodgy tummy, temp increase in anxiety, trouble sleeping, sleepiness - side effects are likely to be worst for up to a fortnight after starting.

[TinkerbellesMum]

That's all very well with the help of a pyschologist, but when you are alone you can not do it. I'm a very mathematical, logical person. I understand the way I think and how I work, but I would not try to deal with this alone. For now, until someone can help me work through it I have to cope with distraction. I'm not hiding from the thoughts, I'm keeping myself going a few more weeks. I've had them for as long as I can remember and I have always played them out because I didn't know what it was (the things I thought about as a kid, I thought I was terrible, I imagined some awful things for an adult let alone a child).

Logically I know that I don't want any harm to come to her, but that makes it as hard. Half of me is logically rationalising what is going on and half of me is a gibbering wreck. I've had a few friends say to me the worst thing about being mentally ill is being intelligent enough to understand it (I have some very intelligent mentally ill friends).

blushing, I just laughed reading your post, not at you I hope you understand and not because it was funny. What you wrote could have been written by me. I small have a phobia of stairs as I fell down a set and lost my daughter 5 days later (live 20 week birth). I feel sick thinking about having to walk down stairs (I live on the top floor of a low riser) and if I have Tink in a sling, I need someone to "spot" me. I too see all the "dangers" in the world around me that are ready to accidently (or "accidently" )hurt Tink.