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Mental health

any bi polar mummies????

9 replies

dressedupnowheretogotilxmas · 19/11/2007 19:02

just wondering if any out there

and if yo dont mind sharing your experiences with me

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zippitippitoes · 19/11/2007 19:04

I am a mummy but my kids are big now..so might not be able to help..

hi any way

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blanki · 19/11/2007 23:57

Hi, Im looking for other mummies with mental health problems. I have borderline personality disorder and I have shared care of my son. I am now very well, but it has been a tough journey. I think us mums should lose the shame and support each other, after all its an illness , not a lifestyle choice! Maybe chat?

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vacua · 20/11/2007 20:23

: saunters nonchalantly into thread, giving a subtle nod before sauntering even-more-nonchalantly out again :

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tooyoung · 23/11/2007 19:48

I've been wondering about this too...Sorry this is so long! It's such a sensitive and tricky subject, and different for everyone too. Mainly I suppose it would depend on how serious your condition is, whether you get suicidal, harm yourself or self-medicate with alcohol or whatever. I don't yet have children so feel free to completely disregard me( I would...!)but have been giving this a lot of thought. Are there any organisations that could give you expert knowledgeable advice about this? I know Stephen Fry's programme about manic depression made it look pretty bleak for mothers as for many people the hormones & emotions can be so intense, on top of the usual ones, but there are so many degrees of the illness...

I'm bipolar, and have been on mood stabilisers for a few years, and they work pretty bloody well...am so much nicer & calmer than before! I was completely off the rails, but now unimaginably more calm and rational. But obviously will need to come off them (very slowly to decrease the chances of getting ill again)before ttc, which throws up many questions!

Apart from the worry that I might descend into depression without the drugs, I think in many ways being bipolar as a mother would not be the worst thing in the world. It's made me kinder and less judgemental about people, and I don't think it would make me an unfit parent at all..how many "sane" parents are out there who are just horrible people after all?! (you know, the ones swearing at/ignoring their kids in public, that make your heart ache for them).It shouldn't reflect badly on you as a person, it's largely about chemicals in your brain.

It depends on how well you are able to manage your illness, find ways to cope, recognising triggers and being able to tell when you should be kind to yourself and take it easy, and when to try and "override" the illness and get a hold of yourself, if possible. That said, perhaps this is hugely irresponsible to say as it really does depend on how serious your condition is, and also very much on your partner.

My mother, who is pretty sane and grounded told me that before she had me she was slightly nuts but having to put someone else's needs first really sorted her out. She wasn't bipolar though. I am and so is my dad, and while we have a fantastic relationship he was never really able to cope with family life, despite a few attempts! He's been more of a friend and mentor while the sane stepdads did the actual parenting, lol.

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dressedupnowheretogotilxmas · 27/11/2007 06:36

im not bi-polar but ifeel im starting to display stronger traits of it as i get older and am recognising the traits .

ive always struggled with stress and i have a very addictive trait where as anything i do becomes all consuming cooking knitting mumsnet

but my uncle is bi polar and the whole of my mums family suffer with depression

but since i had my little one my mood swings have increased hugely im hell of a lot more down than up but it really does swing in extremes i have just admit defeat with work beacuse i just cant cope with a part time job and being a mum even though my dh is fab at supporting me

can anyone describe how they got diagnosed and if they were fobbed off as just depressed or suffering anxiety before they were ???

feel free to cat if youd prefer

tia xxx

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pennypitstop · 27/11/2007 18:35

Hello. I'm bipolar and it took me a long time to get a proper diagnosis on this. It was my Doctor who decided the psychiatrist was not helping me in any way, and she treated me herself. I have been taking my medication for a while now, and I feel ok. My moods still change, but not nearly as much as before.

I have learnt to not put too much pressure on myself over anything, and plan out fully what is going to be in my days. I cannot hold down a job at the moment, but I am enjoying being a SAHM, and my dh is very supportive. I think that is the key to it all really - having the support from your partner.

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tooyoung · 27/11/2007 20:38

completely agree...

personally I always knew there was something wrong with me since I was a kid...but everyone else just thought I was moody & weird. got dismissed by several doctors as merely highly strung, told to drink less caffeine etc... prob due in part to being able to articulate too well how I felt...if you're not foaming at the mouth or trying to kill yourself there and then, they tend to think you're making it up! One crappy doctor actually told me to come back in a fortnight if I was still suicidal! Funny now, but how irresponsible was he?

The best thing to do is to keep on trying til you find a sympathetic doctor who takes the time to listen, but not easy I know when you feel terrible.

pennypitstop & dressedup, thinking of you, glad your respective dh's are supportive, it does make a huge difference. I'm amazed mine stuck with me...and also at how much my life has changed since starting Mirtazapine. Staying in work still an ongoing struggle, but doable.

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tooyoung · 27/11/2007 20:45

also agree with penny about not putting too much pressure on yourself...and also regularly force yourself to notice what you have achieved, no matter how small, and consciously put perceived "failures" into more helpful perspective.

Be kind to yourself... do something relaxing, the more pointless the better...treat yourself!

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dressedupnowheretogotilxmas · 03/12/2007 11:03

im trying to use my knitting as me time and i find it very therapeutic sp?

as i do with my cooking my me time in kitchen

off to see dr today coz they changed my meds to citalopram but i dont like it i feel very blsase' about evrything it even disguised my pmt very strange

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