I am soooooo bored, it's like torture

[oneplusone]

Every day my DS gets up at 6am and we come downstairs in the dark. I can't open my eyes and am a zombie until it gets light. DS is also bored I think with his toys, all he wants to do is pull up a chair to the kitchen worktop and play with all the exciting things up there which are messy and dangerous. I do let him play there if I'm in the kitchen but not otherwise.

I have the whole day stretching ahead of me with the same routine and I am just sooooooooo bored of it all.

I also have severe health issues which no treatment seems to help and I'm sure my health issues are linked to my emotional state which is very up and down due to family issues concerning my parents and sisters.

I feel i have been blessed with so much ie 2 great DC's whom I love to bits, a good DH, a lovely home and no money worries at the moment. But I can't enjoy it mainly due to my health iessues which affect my appearance and have shattered my confidence and self esteem. I feel like I have a disability but one that is not recognised as such.

I'm not looking for answers on here, I just need to say how I feel. I try to stay positive but it is so hard as my health has been bad for 4 years ever since I had my DD and I just feel right now that I can't go on. I want to run away and not have to look after other people and just concentrate on getting myself better, but of course in reality there is just no way I can do that. I do try to help myself as much as I can by eating well etc but I honestly think I need a complete break from my current lifestyle to rest and recuperate and come to terms with the major family issues that have affected me so much this year.

Thank you to anyone that has read this far, i just need to let off steam, am not looking for any answers.

[BandofMothers]

Do you mind if I ask what is wrong with you???
Does it mean you can't go out?? I often find even a walk to the park for half an hour breaks the dullness of a day in. My DD2 is also up at about 6ish, and I hate it when it is still dark out. tbh I curl up on the sofa while she pootles about playing or sits watching Pocoyo

We have eeven been known to go out for a walk in the pouring rain cos I couldn't stand another day inside

[Hanfi]

I am or have been up and down with periodic depression since sixteen, I know what you mean about a great yawning day in front of you. The pressure to fill it is much greater with a child, I try hard to do interesting things and feel so guilty about television, but with no energy I give in and dd gets to watch quite a bit. Have you tried anti-depressents? I'm 37 weeks pregnant and can't, but I go on and off prozac, usualy on from oct-mar, then off for summer. If it's a crutch it's one that improves my quality of life and my family's. Didn't mean to supply answers, just wanted you to know that you aren't alone.

[oneplusone]

BandofMothers, I have severe, chronic facial eczema. Of course eczema itself is not life threatening which is why I always feel the doctors don't take it seriously. But when it's on your face it affects every aspect of your life and in my case is severely debilitating.

Unfortunatley some days I do feel too down to do things like go for a walk or go out where I might bump into people and i know the ironic thing is that actually bumping into people and having a chat is what will make me feel better but I just can't face people sometimes. I'm forced to do the school run but feel I'm not making the opportunity to make new friends at that time because I just feel so self conscious.

I really am at a loss as to what to do especially as even the doctor says he's run out of options.

Hanfi, thanks for your reply, it helps to know I'm not alone but at the same time unless there is someone with my condition out there it's very hard for people to really understand how I'm feeling. But I do very much appreciate your response and the kind thought behind it. Thank you. Also I am scared of taking anti-d's and also feel there's no point, I know what's getting me down, it's my health and unless and until I can sort that out I will always feel down .

[BandofMothers]

sorry to vanish, I tend to do that on here. I wish your doctors could be more help to you, that must be awful to live with. I cannot imagine obviously, and have no advice, excpet that your friends will surely love you anyway despite the exczema????

[woo12woo]

Try taking vitamin d , it is the best thing in the world to take especially this time of the year when there isn't much sun. Also vitamin b12, it is amazing how much more energy you will have. Also for the exczema, I know it isn't that good for you, but try a tanning bed a couple times a week, it will also brighten your mood ( more vitamin d). I suffer with anxiety and depression and came off meds in the summer, I was feeling pretty awful for a while and decided to go to a vitamin shop and talk to someone that worked there and what they recommended. Well I feel terrific after a few months! Seriously take the vitamin d and vitamin b 12, you'll see a difference, I swear! If you don't want to go to the tanning beds try a light box, these also work well. Hope you feel better soon!