Do you feel like there's just so much do all the time and you never stop. I'm like that at the moment.

[sparkler]

Sorry - moan alert!! That's why I love Mumsnet you can let off steam here.

I'm am feeling so tired at the moment. Everything in life seems so hard to handle. I don't seem to stop from the moment I get up in the morning until the time I go to bed. I look around me at home and just don't seem to be keeping on top of things as much as I'd like to. I know I should let things go a little but if I feel so much better if I can keep on top of things at home.
I have two DDs who are 8 and 5. They seem to want so much from me and I feel bad that I don't give them enough time. DD2 even said to me yesterday mummy you are always saying you are too busy .
I work part time as a temp sec and my shifts vary and job can change from one week to the next. That can be quite stressful at times.
My mum is not of great health and I feel she depends on me and my sister more than she probably realises. I'm constantly worrying if she's ok.
My step-dad has been ill for years and is back in hospital again - the second time in less than two months. So when I'm not working at the hospital, I'm taking mum to visit as she is unable to drive.
I just feel I'm doing too much and at the same time kicking myself as I know other people have much more to deal with than me and they cope, so why can't I?
I was a SAHM for eight years and went back to work at the end of last year.I'm starting to wonder whether or not I should have gone back to work as yet. I get days where I feel I want to be at home giving all I can to my family and home instead of rushing around going to work and worrying about other stuff. But again - other people manage it, why can't I?
I sound like a right winge bag don't I?

[sarahtwobratz]

You are doing a fantastic job. I am a SAHM with two DD's (2&6). I couldn't even begin to contemplate working at the same time. How most women do it, I've no idea. I would love a job out side the home, but I know I could not even begin to juggle every ones needs, so I am letting my life pass me by as a domestic slave (or so it feels).

[sparkler]

I too found it hard being a SAHM. I wanted to be at work having some "me" time. So, here I am getting my "me" time and now I wish I was at home again. DH is doing his nut with me 'cos I'm never satisfied.

[sarahtwobratz]

One bonus of staying at home, just had a GORGEOUS window man round to give a quote, liked him so much even made him coffee. Very tempted to lock the doors and not let him leave! He stayed so long, DD2 was nearly calling him daddy

[ruby7]

My God, I have no time whatsoever! I go to work to 'get away from it all' and find myself rushing around here doing work stuff and not having a second to do anything here either! But I don't know how I would cope staying at home, with no routine and fighting with DS who is going through some psycho stage. I feel pulled in 20 different directions, none of which are for me, and I hate it! And I spend the whole time looking at everyone else thinking what a great time they're having, and how well they're coping, and here I am dosed up to the eyeballs on anti depressants!

I had no idea it was going to be so hard being a mother. Everything falls apart. And so we try really hard to be domestic goddesses and amazing business women and end up only being able to do half of it all and setting ourselves really high standards and raising the bar each time until nothing we do is good enough at all. I suppose the way through is to lower our expectations, but I don't know how we're supposed to do that.

At the moment I want to get a plane somewhere and go far far away. I bunked off work last week and just wandered round the streets and got my hair cut, and it was soooo exciting, knowing that no one knew where I was.

[sparkler]

ruby7 - you have said everything so much better than I did. You sound EXACTLY like me.

[madness]

same here, spent nearly 2 hours on the phone trying to sort (boring) stuff out (broken washing machine, bank etc etc). Need to get changed to work. Only thing I look forward to is to go to bed (even though dd will keep me awake in the night, but at least I will be in bed!)

I so recognise the "you are always too busy" bit

[muppetgirl]

I felt like this too. I went back to work as I thought it would help when my ds was 9 months. The result was that I felt pulled in all directions as I wanted to be a great mum but also wanted to be the great teacher I used to be. School didn't understand when I had to leave meetings at 5 to pick ds up (I'd been in from 8am) and collegues often made comments about me being a part timer as I worked 3 days a week. When I was at home I was willing my ds to have naps as then I could finish the paperwork I needed for my work and when I was at work I was wondering what he was doing.
I ended up leaving work, after trying a different job, and have been a sahm for just over a year. Whilst I still find it hard to not be at work I have come to realise that it's not forever and are going to start re-trainning using the open university as of next year (are currently 35 weeks prgt with ds2) I make sure I have 'me' time now and will still have after ds is born. Others in my road work full/part time and struggle as much as I did, especially when their dc's are ill as employers never really understand. If you can change your circumstances, then I would You are equally as important as you dh/p and your children. As I said to one of my neighbours yesterday

-Where do you see yourself in five years time? Is this something you have even thought about?

[sarahtwobratz]

I have been thinking about OU courses too,muppetgirl. What are you going to study? Any one else got any experience of it?

[muppetgirl]

I want to return to work as an Educational Psychologist so I'm going to do the 'Exploring Psychology' module and then have to do 3 others to convert my teaching degree into a psychology degree. I did start last Oct but then became prgt with ds and felt that the 'baby brain' I'd developed didn't help the studying! I have postponed (interrupted study I think it's called) and are re-starting next oct.
It was quite intense as I'd not studied since graduation -2001 and it was a subject I'd touched on, being a teacher, but not the extent this course went into. I really enjoyed using my brain again and dh and I had great conversations debating some of the issues raised in the course.
Can't wait to start again!

[Anna8888]

I have have never, ever understood why work could be considered to provide "me" time.

Work, IME, involves renting out my brain to a company to solve its problems, in return for a salary. And very often those problems don't interest me one little bit - so, far from work being "me" time, it is "them" time.

Sometimes work provides things I enjoy, like friendships, meals in nice restaurants, a chance to get very dressed up. But generally it is a chore, a place where I am acting out a role most of the time, pretending to be interested in what it is happening when I couldn't give a .

Home, however, is where I can be me - I can use my brain for the things I enjoy and am good at. I can create my own world.

Of course, there are also chores at home. This afternoon I spent the best part of two hours cleaning all the floors, underneath and behind all the furniture and appliances. I don't enjoy doing it, but I do enjoy the results because they are for me, so it's not that bad.

But more importantly at home - with my partner, my daughter, my friends - I can say and do exactly how I think and feel.