I did it..I have started taking Citalopram today!

[michaelad]

After what seems like a lifetime of struggling with depression etc. I have finally started taking ADs (citalopram 10mg) today..and I am now really nervous because I don't know what to expect! That, and part of me still feels as though I have now officially joined "the looney brigade"

[iamnotstressed]

you will feel better soon, take it day by day. i am on 20mg of citalopram, started 5 months ago, and i feel great. if it doesn't work for you, they will give you other drugs. you need to be patient and as i said take it day by day. i have recently discovered that quite a few of my women friends are on ads, nothing to be ashamed about. you can also ask the gp to refer you to a counsellor...good luck.

[michaelad]

Thanks, Iamnotstressed! My GP is already working on getting me into a group CBT session. No idea how long that's going to take..it just feels really strange right now. On one hand I'm happy to have finally taken the first tablet (and to hopefully being on the long and windy road to a better life for me and my family) and on the other hand I am absolutely terrified.
What side effects did you have and how long did it take to kick in?

[lucyellensmum]

michealad, thankyou for your comments on my other thread, if you have read any of my other threads you will have seen i am pretty screwed up at times. Tonight i have my sensible head on.

I think there is a wide variety of side effects, i have been relatively lucky and had relatively few. I think the most common is nausea and a dry mouth. I did feel sick for a small time and a bit rushy but that was it (funniest thing though, whenever i heard music, i had to dance, even to the bloody buskers in town ). Mostly the side effects wear off after the first few weeks. Also, some people do feel a bit worse in the first few weeks but ive not seen many that have on here.

10mg is a very low dose, actually most people start on 20mg, but i have seen some people on here on 10mg so they may be able to help you more.

I have to have a higher dose now, but i have just had a really stressfull weekend so im thiking about holding off for a week to see how i go.

This drug has certainly helped me, i was spiralling out of control and i was terrified. Things are far from brilliant now, but i can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Best of luck with everything.

[iamnotstressed]

During the first week my anxiety worsened, i was in a complete state! By the end of week 2 my mood had lifted and the anxiety was more manageable. At the end of week 3 I went from 10mg to 20mg as I was feeling better but knew there was room for improvement. No nausea, no dry mouth, etc, in fact no side effects, maybe I was sweating more, but that went pretty quickly. I think it is a very good antidepressant, good luck. For the first 3 weeks couldn't concentrate on anything, so watched crap telly and read crap magazines to make time pass.I do see the 1st day I started taking ads as the beginning of a better and healthier life.

[felicitywishes02]

I too take citalopram, now on 20mgs, and i have to say that all the panic attacks and stuff have all but gone, i'm against taking medication but im glad i did now.
My councellor was fairly useless and didnt really help me, i ended up getting some books my gp recommended out of the library!!

Dont know how long i have to be on them, im on a wait and see thing from my gp, glad to see there are others out there takings ads!!

[michaelad]

Thanks everyone for all the comments so far. On day 2 now and so far no side effects.. have to go back to my GP in 2 weeks. It feels really weird atm. I so do hope that the AD's make a difference. My family and I deserve better than this. I am so down (having moved countries and therefore not having any family or "old friends" nearby doesn't help) but ever since I've had my two boys, I have developed an evil temper as well. Something that I NEVER had before. I have such a short fuse now and shout at the kids far too often (and hate myself for it). But this is soo not me..and somedays I felt like I was going crazy. I was just waiting for something to go "crack" in my head and the lights to go out, so to speak.
sorry to ramble

[michaelad]

and it was such a relief to be told by my GP that having problems with anger is one symptom of depression. It just so isn't me..and it's lovely to know that maybe one day (with the help of tablets and CBT) that demon might go away too!!

[lulumama]

well, i was a fully paid up member of the loony brigade ! at my worst i was on 175 mg of venlaflaxine, and in hospital

well done for taking a brave and important first step and i hope you are feeling more like yourself very soon x

[michaelad]

Hi ruby...god, it's been a long time!! How are you these days?

[michaelad]

lulumama
Really?? You must tell me more..God, for some reason I never had you in "that" kind of category at all...don't ask me why..

Anyway, sorry to be so unsociable but I have to run off again because I have to make some phone calls before it gets too late. Will check again tomorrow though!

[lulumama]

no problem

people who didn;t know me back then are always gobsmacked when i tell them!

i will email you if you want, don;t like to go into too much detail publicly x

[antid]

Hi Michaelad

I just started on 10mg citalapram on tuesday so just the day before you. Your situation sounds very similar to mine: away from "home"; no family (although I am lucky enough to have at least one close friend here now); two kids; terrible irritation and anger with a short fuse. I've been hating myself quite a lot due to that last one for some time. Had tried SJW for a couple of years but seemed to be getting worse. In the end I just couldn't see the wood for the trees - was perpetually unhappy and not sure whether it was being away from home, my relationship with my DH, not being a "natural" mother etc etc etc. Anyway, cut a long story short I went to GP and got the prescription on Tuesday. I also felt a bit funny about starting on antiDs but am glad I did as I couldn't go on the other way.
WRT sideeffects - so far I have felt ok, quite "spacey" in the afternoons, as though jetlagged, but this may be becuase sleep has been interrupted by DD1. I still feel anxious when I wake up but have been fairly happy and energetic (aprt from afternoons). DH actually asked whether these things give you energy. I think I am on a bit of a high because I have felt awful for so long and now I feel I am doing something about it. Am slightly worried about the dip that normally comes after I've been feeling good, but maybe the meds will cushion that a bit.

Good luck with your journey to good health and let me know if you want to chat further, since we have started this thing at same time.

[michaelad]

lulu it would be really nice if you could tell me more about your "journey back from the shadows". Cat me or mail me at [email protected] if you have a spare moment!
antid it sounds like our stories really are remarkably similar so I'd love to chat some more. Where are you from originally? I moved to the UK 5 years ago from Germany.
Day 3 now and still no side effects.. I've noticed that I keep analysing my behaviour alot though, looking for clues that things are changing

[allgonebellyup]

i just started on this drug 3 days ago and now suffer from terrible insomnia and havent slept AT ALL for 2 nights! also very thirsty.
have been and got sleeping pills to help me through these first couple of weeks.
i cant wait for the ADs to start working.
if they ever do

[antid]

oh dear agbu - what dosage are you on? I have had trouble going back to sleep after being woken but otherwise ok. When do you take the tablet? my gp reckoned 30 mins before bed would be good. Hope things improve soon.

Michaelad - I moved here from Ireland about 12 years ago. I am never quite sure whether or not I want to go back. It's quite unsettling at times.
I have been really analysing my behaviour since starting the medication too, I suppose it's natural as that list of side effects is terrifying so you are constantly on the alert.
I thought I was doing really well but I got that bleak feeling (do you know the one? a kind of bleakness in your core) earlier and have just lost it with DH, DCs. They were really winding me up - DD1 had been tantruming since she got home from after school club and DH wound me up with his reaction. Bedtimes in this house are just a nightmare! anyway, have just put off a friend who I was supposed to be seeing tomorrow, just feel like chilling at home and not putting too much strain on things. Mind you things normally get hairy when we spend too much time at home...
hope things are going ok for you

[lucyellensmum]

bellyup, stick with it, it is supposed to take a few weeks to a month for the effects of the drug to really set in, and the side effects are supposed to subside after two. It does work, really it does, i was in such a scary place before i started on my meds./

[michaelad]

antid, my ex is from Dublin . Went over several times to visit his family and always had a great time! Anyway, I have not noticed any changes re. insomnia but I seem to be ALOT calmer today which is great. The kids both went mental around me today and I stayed as calm as anything whereas before I would have lost it completely at some point and would have shouted at them. I call it "the red mist descending". Didn't happen once today..fab but strange..
Yes, I know all too well what "core bleakness" feels like. When nothing makes sense any more and every ounce of will or energy you have ever had has been drained dry and there appears to be nothing but gloom and doom. I used to be a Goth for years and years where it came in quite handy, I guess

[allgonebellyup]

still not feeling much different (day5) but anxiety is a lot better, just dont find im any closer to happiness in any way,shape or form.
taken too many sleeping pills at 3am this morn just so i could sleep, but now feel like a zombie as theyre still working.

[vizbizz]

I agree with Lucyellens mum, I was also in a VERY bad place before taking meds. I am still somewhat messed up, but it does help me see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. well, most days. Give it time. You might not notice it all at once but when you look back you realise that somehow, something has changed for the better

[michaelad]

vizbizz, how long did it take you to start noticing a change and what dose are you on?

[vizbizz]

I am on 20 mg, and it took about 3 weeks before I noticed I wasn't feeling so bleak, and wasn't snapping at my poor DH every day. I think he may have been even more relieved than I was! At first I just felt all the side effects, but slowly they started to wear off and I realised I was also feeling better. Hang in there, it's a positive step you have taken and hopefully citalopram will do it's wonders for you too. Just give it a bit of time.

[michaelad]

Still not having any noticible side effects but have been really calm the whole weekend (much to the joy of dh and the children nevermind myself). I don't expect it to work miracles overnight.. I am not in a hurry and quite happy with the change I have noticed so far!

[antid]

hi guys
hope you are all doing ok
michaelad - funnily enough I spent most of my teenage years as a goth of sorts - maybe us depressed pessimist types are inexorably drawn to it
glad to hear you are feeling calmer
I just had one blow out with DH/kids over the weekend, which was a bit of a miracle really
have been feeling much better than before, but still not totally calm yet. basically I am not letting myself dwell on any of the bigger issues that had been making me miserable but i will have to think about them at some stage so I need to get myself into a state where I can, without falling apart.
I am due back at GP on Wednesday. My spacey feeling has gone, although am still not concentrating well at work...
onwards and upwards