DH seems depressed, how can I help

[sadlad]

For the last week seems not to want to do anything, didn't shower this morning, keeps dozing off, doesn't want to chat, off sex....

My feeling vary from feeling sorry for him, angry at him and not wanting to spend time with him.

What can I do to help?

[fransmom]

be gentle with him and be ready when he needs to talk? i have pnd and so i really appreciate when people are gentle with me, that's not to say that i want to be mollycoddled and wrapped in cotton wool, far from it. hows things tonight? has he seen/ is he likely to see doc?

[LucyJones]

encourage him to see a gp

[sadlad]

Thanks, I haven't really any experience of people with depression. He seems a bit better this week after writing a long email to his mum and reading her reply.
Will definitely get him to consult a doctor if the black cloud descends again soon.

[MaeBee]

sadlad - my dp also suffers from depression and i find it really hard. yesterday he told me i was really unsupportive because i lost my temper, but i really feel at the end of my tether. i feel cheated and tricked and trapped. i also feel concerned and loving and desperate to make things better. my technique for dealing with it varies widely, which probably doesn't help either.
mine's quite mildly affected, he can look after the baby and communicate and stuff, but he just seems to have very low confidence and its always me pushing for fun or social stuff. i find it hard to carry us all.
he feels convinced he doesn't have any friends, whilst i have loads. which is kind of true but thats not cos he's unlikeable, its cos i very much prioritise seeing my old friends and he expects his to come chase him.
i love him, i feel sorry for him, i long for him to be happy. maybe he's right, maybe i am a selfish cow, but i feel angry that he's dragging me down too.
one of the things that he says is making him miserable is we don't have the same relationship that we used to have. my libido has been low since my baby was born, and im still bf and have no period back so think that affects it. also, how do you fancy someone so needy and miserable? it becomes a vicious circle.
the other thing that gets him low is he's overweight, and it probably doesn't help that im so gorgeous . again though, i find myself getting angry that he overeats, i generally prefer really healthy food and we always struggle a bit over what to have for dinner!
maybe i am being unreasonable. but i feel i didn't sign up for this. he's not the person i fell in love with. and i don't feel in love with him when he's like this. prob doesn't help that ive had pain from childbirth injuries last 11 months.
there is no way in a million years he would see a doctor. and i guess his is too mild and functional to seem serious. but its tiring and difficult for our relationship.
i sound horrible don't i? but it feels better to vent here than at him!

[Sadlad]

HiMaebee
I'm sorry to hear things are so difficult for you and your husband. I don't have much time now as we're off for the weekend to the inlaws. Just wanted to let you know that someone's reading if you need another rant.
Will post after the weekend

[cece]

I took DH to the docs and he is now on AD - things are better but not back to normal yet though...

[MaeBee]

hows it going?
am making an effort to keep calm and not lose my temper. we had a lovely arguement free day yesterday after a day where he talked about moving out (not total seperation, but just living apart). part of me wants him too, so its hard to put a load of effort into keeping our family together when i want it to deteriorate!
whats the easiest age for kids to be when their parents split up?
are the ad's helping much cece?