Is is possible to get high self-esteem after having hardly any for most of your life?

[huffpuff]

I am 33 and cannot remember ever feeling good about myself - is it possible to learn to have high self esteem or not?

[PotterCandles]

Yes it is possible to learn to raise your self-esteem.

In my case it was about first teaching myself to believe that my emotions were valid. That I was allowed to feel bad without feeling bad about feeling bad - ie no guilt over feeling bad, whatever the reason for the negative emotion. Also that I was allowed to refuse, that I was allowed to behave in a way that others might perceive as selfish. And that I was allowed to feel proud of myself without having to have others validate it.

[huffpuff]

good advice PotterCandles - got any more useful tips?

I am VERY negative atm.

If someone pays me a compliment i think they're lying or taking the piss.

If DD does something good, i focus on the stuff she hasnt done IYSWIM

How do i stop this?

[Pinkchampagne]

Have you thought about counselling?

I have always had self esteem issues, ever since I was a child. My self esteem still isn't great, but having counselling sessions really helped me feel a little better about myself & gain more strength & confidence.

[huffpuff]

Am Starting counselling next week for PND.

I just wish i could like myself and realise that i am worth something

[Pinkchampagne]

I started off having couselling for PND & then later for my relationship problems, but the counsellor really made me look at myself & my way of thinking differently, which made a big difference.
If your self esteem is very poor, your counsellor will very quickly pick up on that.

[PotterCandles]

I think it's very difficult to do this on your own. Even MN cannot really subsitute for a RL person to guide you through the emotional maze. You need a mentor - a counsellor.