im so down

[slinkyjo]

and feel so guilty, i went to see my councillor on friday she said me i needed to tell my dad how much he hurt me when i was a kid and how i hate him for it, i text my stepmum to tell her what was going to happen soon and she was really understanding and supported me (she hates him to and wants him to leave) my dad went down her phone sat morning i wasnt ready to tell me dad everything just yet, and for the first time in 6 months he decides to ring me! so he starts going on about how crap hes feeling at the moment so i stop him and through the tears tell him how much he has damaged me and thanks to him and my mother ive had a shit life, my dad puts his hands up and says sorry not that that makes up for it,then my stepmum texts me that some off the things wasnt my dads fault i think to myself great dads twisted some of the things ive said YET AGAIN, i cant cope with it anymore im stuck in the middle of all my family and my dad he has let everyone down and hurt everyone even his own mum how do i stop being in hte middle?

[Wisteria]

Slinkyjo , you sound very hurt. Don't know your story but was wondering what sort of counselling you are having as it doesn't seem right to me for a counsellor to tell you what you 'need' to do.
Can I just ask; why do you feel guilty?

[stoppinattwo]

HI slinkyjo........I saw you have spkoen to me earlier. Have just stoped for lunch and wanted to let you know, dont let your dads response put you off the positive action you are taking. Well done for listening to your councillor and makeing a good step forward.

Try not to pay too much attention to how your dad reacts, The truth will hurt him and he is bound to make excuses.

But most important keep talking about it, even if it is to just us lot

[slinkyjo]

thanks stoppinatwo it means alot, i think it was the shock of it happenen so soon i didnt have a chance to prepare myself, my dad has a great habit of making things seem as if its not his fault, it really annoys me, im glad it did tell him as its made me feel alot better in myself and alot more confident in telling ppl how i feel (which i have had a huge problem doing) i also feel relieved that im not pretending to him anymore and he has agreed to stay away from me n my kids, im just trying to understand why i feel guilty? i mean im not the one that fucked up big time? even through all this he was saying how scared he was of losing my stepmum and my step brother and sisters not once did he say he was scared of losing me? i just dont get how my parents could be so horrible to their kid? i could never ever treat my two the way they have me i just cant imagine it,

[stoppinattwo]

XXX


People talking on their heels(backed into a corner) sometimes have an unnerving ability to spin it around so it comes right back at you.

Keep yourself focussed on you and your family. If he wants to be the way he is there isnt much you can do about it. But that is his problem not yours, you have your children and they need you to learn from his mistakes. so you dont do that same thing..........which by dealing with your feelings now, and talking about it you wont